


Ultimate Sacrifice for My Ultimate Love

by Techman98



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: F/M, Harukawa Maki - Freeform, Hope vs. Despair, Love, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Pain, Sacrifice, Saihara Shuichi - Freeform, Saihara Shuichi/Harukawa Maki - Freeform, The Ultimate Assassin, The Ultimate Detective, The Ultimate Magician, Yumeno Himiko - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-04-17 18:17:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 62,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14194863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Techman98/pseuds/Techman98
Summary: ****CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF DANGANRONPA V3 KILLING HARMONY****After Shuichi, Maki, and Himiko escape from the world of Danganronpa, Maki is forced into the world of contract killing once again.  Upon discovering this, Shuichi decides to do the unthinkable: Become the Ultimate Assassin in Maki's place in exchange for her freedom.Afterall, for Shuichi, there is no sacrifice too great...Especially for the person he loves.





	1. New Beginnings

We have no idea what is waiting for us on the other side. As Himiko, Maki, and I look at the ray of light shining down on us through the enclosure around the academy, we do not know what to think or expect. But with whatever determination and hope we have left in our hearts after Danganronpa had plunged us into the pits of despair, we decided to step through the light and face the other side. As we pass through the light our vision becomes impaired, but we continue to take one step at a time holding each other's hands tightly. Step by step we take, our hearts beating faster and faster as the anticipation and anxiety of wondering what lies ahead begins to grow inside of us. But not long after, we are face to face with what lies at the end of the light.

"Is this a door?" I ask out loud to Maki and Himiko.

"It looks like it," replies Maki just as puzzled. Before us, still within the tunnel of light, lies a green door with a gold plated doorknob. Compared to the atmosphere around us, it seems very out of place.

"Shuichi, my mana is still being attuned right now, so maybe you should go through the door first," said Himiko with a slight feeling of nervousness in her voice.

As anxious as I was, there was no other choice. This appears to be the only way to go. I gather enough resolve and reach for the gold-plated doorknob. I grip it firmly and twist my hand. The doorknob twists with my hand indicating that the door is unlocked. I then push on the door and walk through to the other side. Once again, I am met with a blinding light. As I forcefully shut my eyes to try to block out the light, my other senses begin to react. I start to hear different sounds like cars driving past me and people talking. The smells of different aromas began to waft about, entering my nose. A feeling of a soft breeze gently caresses my body.

"Where are we?" I think to myself.

As I slowly open my eyes once again, I finally bear witness to the world around me. I find myself standing on a sidewalk near a somewhat busy street. Tall buildings can be seen all around, save for a small park that lies ahead across the street. People can be seen walking back and forth on the sidewalks, and cars stop and go at a nearby traffic light. A man at the intersection nearby can be seen stirring what appears to be a concoction of different nuts, hence the aroma that is wafting about in the air. I find my gaze shifting about at the area around me, trying to take in everything that I am witnessing.

"Is this...a city?" I think to myself. It took the sound of footsteps behind me to finally break me out of my trance. I turn to find Maki and Himiko standing behind me, their faces filled with the same awe I must have had when I first walked through the door. I put my right thumb and index finger to my chin and begin to ponder how we arrived here. I glance back at the door behind Maki and Himiko and begin to walk towards it. Looking through the door, the light that was once there is no longer. All that is left is what appears to be vast darkness and empty space. As I step back from the entryway, the door shuts closed and locks itself. I try to open the door anyway but to no avail. There was no going back to that world, the world where hope and despair are deadlocked. The world that we were forced into to doubt each other, fight each other, and sentence each other. Despite the attempts of many of the now former students of the Academy of Gifted Juveniles to maintain order and peace among us, only three of us were able to escape. While it was Kaede's dream to see the rest of us leave the academy and escape as friends, the sad reality was that there were only three of us, including myself, left alive. The sting of this harsh reality is enough to cause my chest to tighten with pain. If only...If only we could have done something sooner. If only we realized the error in Tsumugi's sick and twisted game sooner, almost all of us could have made it out alive. If only--

My thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of someone's hand wrapped gently around my own. I turn around to see who it is. A pair of captivating, crimson eyes meets my own. She was never one to smile often, but when she did, it was enough to take my breath away and alleviate all of my worries and fears. I wrapped my fingers around hers and responded with a smile of my own. I could feel my cheeks warm up more and more as I stared back into her eyes, getting lost in the beautiful gleam that they held. And in response, her cheeks began to redden as well, almost matching the red uniform that she still wore. These precious moments where she lets her guard down and reveals her true emotions are like treasures to me. With renewed hope in my heart, I tighten my grip on Maki's hand and walk back to where she and Himiko were standing.

"Where are we Shuichi," asks Himiko still amazed at the sight around us. "This must be the outside world," I reply, "originally what was supposed to happen was that the survivors of the killing game were to receive the survivor perk and then proceed to another killing game afterward. But now that Danganronpa has ended, it appears that we have been released from that endless cycle." A smile makes its way onto my face as I realize that we will no longer have to be captives of the killing game any longer. "But...What do we do now," asks Maki. Maki had asked the million dollar question. What were we supposed to do now? We had no direction and certainly no clue as to what to do next. "I guess...This means that our future is ours to create," I say with confidence. Indeed we had no direction, but that just means that we have to create our own path forward... At least...That's what I thought at the time. Little did I know that our paths were already defined for us when we stepped out of the world of Danganronpa.

* * *

 

"Himiko you have to trust me."

"Nyeeeeeeeeh! How can I go along with a plan such as this?! It's just as crazy as a level one mage taking on the final boss!"

"I understand how you feel...But I won't let the assassin clan take Maki away from us...Which is why I will go in her place."


	2. Reasons Why

"I'm home."

"Welcome home Shuichi," says Himiko. I step through the door into this new place that Himiko, Maki, and I call home. After getting adjusted to the outside world upon our escape, we decided to look for a place where we can begin our new lives together. After an extensive amount of searching, we were able to find an apartment. It wasn't the most lavish place, but it sufficed and we were satisfied with it. It was a small apartment with three bedrooms and one bathroom. It also had a small kitchen where we could cook for ourselves and share a meal together at a small, round, wooden table. And attached to the kitchen was a living space with a couch to sit on and a television to watch. I close the door behind me and place the key that I am holding in my left pocket. Himiko is standing in the kitchen at the dining table, with what appears to be a hodgepodge of different, magical items used in tricks.

"What are you doing," I asked slightly amused at the situation.

"I'm working on my new magical spells that I am going to use in my next ritual," Himiko said cheerfully.

Ah yes, that's right. Himiko has another magic show coming up soon. When we found this apartment, we knew that we were going to have to get jobs in order for us to continue to live here. So we decided to utilize the talents that Tsumugi had "given" to us to find work nearby. Himiko starting performing at nearby theatres and many other venues. Her reputation spread rather quickly throughout the city. It didn't take long before the whole city was talking about the Magnificient Himiko Yumeno and her splendid magic tricks. Of course, Himiko doesn't like when people call her a "magician," and her stage performances, "shows." To her, she is a full-fledged mage with actual, magical powers. And that was okay with me.

"I'm happy that everything is going so well for you Himiko," I say happily, "I am certainly looking forward to seeing you perform once again."

Himiko beames a big smile. "How are things going for you Shuichi? Is work getting any better?"

That's right, Himiko wasn't the only one was able to find a job. As for myself, I somehow was able to find a job at the local police station as a junior detective. Admittedly I didn't have the formal credentials necessary to become a detective. But after impressing the head of the department with my analytical skills and remarkable judgment, most likely picked up from undergoing all of those class trials, he decided to offer me a position anyway. At first, they had me start out with petty crimes and investigations such as helping the locals look for their lost pets, investigating who is responsible for the graffiti marks on certain public buildings, and tracking down people who are attempting to evade paying their traffic tickets and otherwise. But after I successfully assisted a fellow detective with a murder case, the chief decided that it was time for me to start taking on more serious crimes.

"Work is much better now Himiko. The head of my division issued me another citation today in his report. He seems very pleased with the work that I have done so far."

"That's wonderful to hear Shuichi. You're really becoming the true Ultimate Detective."

I smile at Himiko's remark. "Thank you, Himiko, the same goes for you as well. You really are becoming the Ultimate Magici-- I mean Mage. Your fame is spreading throughout the city, and I'm sure to many other places as well."

Himiko grins widely once again and makes her signature laugh. "Nyehehehe, soon the whole world will know the power of Himiko Yumeno, the Ultimate Mage." I smile once more as Himiko beams with a radiant joy.

But unfortunately, this happiness is short lived for me. Yes...everybody.., I think to myself. Everyone except...13 of our friends who died. I start to relive the events that took place in Danganronpa.    The various murders that occurred, followed by the investigations, and the class trials. But worst of all were the executions of the murderers. Time after time, over and over again. A motive, a murder, an investigation, a trial, and an execution. The screams of my former classmates as Monokuma executed them, and the horrifying scene that was left thereafter. It still gives me nightmares occasionally. In fact, there were even some nights where I found myself afraid to fall asleep. It took a lot of hard work to overcome, or..mostly overcome, those feelings. But with the help of Maki and Himiko, all three of us have been able to confront everything that has come our way and have been successful at creating our own lives here together. I shake my head to rid my mind of the remaining, dark thoughts. I sit up and make my way to the stove.

"Shall I begin making dinner then," I ask Himiko.

"Okay Shuichi," Himiko says excitedly, "What are you planning on making tonight?"

I open the fridge and take note of the ingredients that we have in stock. After mulling over different recipes in my mind, I decide on one that I think that we will all be able to enjoy.

"How about spaghetti tonight? I'll use that special recipe for the homemade tomato sauce that you enjoy so much," I say to entice Himiko even more.

"Ooooh," Himiko cheered excitedly, "that would greatly increase my attributes for my next ritual!"

I smile at Himiko, happy that I made the right choice for tonight's meal. I put on a white apron, which contrasts with my dark blue and white striped suit that I am still wearing, and grab the ingredients necessary to make the tomato sauce. Himiko starts to clear the dinner table of her belongings and proceeds to put place settings at the different seats at the table. Three place settings in all at the table.

"That reminds me, Himiko, did Maki say what time she was coming home?"

"She said that she would be a little late coming home tonight, but looking at the time now, she should be home in time for dinner," Himiko replied.

Like the two of us, Maki had also found a place to work and utilize her talent to the fullest. While it was true that she was indeed the Ultimate Assassin, Maki's dream was to become the Ultimate Child Caregiver. She began to work at a local orphanage, tending to and nurturing the children that were there waiting for somebody to adopt them. Maki's personality, at least in the Danganronpa world, was cold and solitary initially. It took her a while before she started allowing people to enter into her life, even just a little bit. But now, Maki, at least to the children she cares for, regularly shows a sweet and sensitive side of herself that in the past, many of us would have thought she didn't have from the get-go. Himiko and I have sometimes visited the orphanage to see the children and Maki together. It really is a wonderful sight to see. The children look up to her as their own motherly figure. She treats each one of them with tender care and affection and puts them first and foremost while she is there at the orphanage. Seeing her like that, and even thinking about it now, brings a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart. Behind the front that she puts up to other people, even to Himiko and myself sometimes, there is a truly beautiful person who is charitable, caring, and sweet. Not to mention, her adorable and cute personality and her physical beauty. All were more than enough to throw me into a trance. I close my eyes as I continue to prepare dinner as I think of Maki more. From the beginning, since I saw her in the gymnasium at the Academy of Gifted Juveniles, Maki held a special place in my heart. Her long, brown hair that descends almost to the floor, her captivating and enchanting crimson eyes, and that cute little smile that she made occasionally, were enough to steal my heart away. Before I can be completely swooned by the thought of Maki, the sound of keys in the door brings me back to reality. I turn my head to the left to see the door open and to see the girl that has been on my mind walk through the doorway into the kitchen.

"I'm home," Maki says into the kitchen.

"Welcome home," Himiko and I both say at the same time energetically.

"How was your day," I ask Maki, hoping that she did indeed enjoy her time with the children.

Maki lets out a small sigh and says, "Children can really be a handful sometimes."

I look over at Maki and notice that she has a small smile on her face, indicating that despite the hardships that come from taking care of children, she enjoyed herself. My heart begins to beat faster, and a smile makes its way onto my face as well.

"I'm happy that you had a good day today," I say to Maki looking back at the ingredients before me, "I'm making spaghetti with Himiko's favorite, homemade tomato sauce."

"That sounds wonderful," says Maki happily.

I continue to slice away at the vegetables and place them in the pot on the stove that is currently heated up with olive oil inside of it. After I throw in the fresh herbs and vegetables, followed by crushed tomatoes, the kitchen is infused with a savory and wonderful aroma. I turn to see Maki and Himiko currently sitting at the dinner table talking about their relatively new jobs and how they enjoy them. Seeing this sight makes me happy. It almost makes it seem like we are a small, happy family together. The circumstances surrounding us aren't entirely ideal, such as trying to adjust to a new life after undergoing trial after trial in the Danganronpa series, but we make it work. And most importantly, we are happy together. After some time, I finish the fresh tomato sauce and successfully boil the spaghetti noodles. I prepare helpings for everyone and place them on the table. I also gather some lettuce from the fridge and am able to make a small salad to go on the side. I take off my white apron and sit down at the table with Maki and Himiko. Both of them look at the table full of food with looks of satisfaction.

"Wow Shuichi, everything looks great," Maki says smiling.

"I hope it turned out well," I say humbly. "I know that Himiko has a..ritual coming up soon, so I wanted to make sure that she had more than enough mana attuned for her to be prepared."

"This will prepare me more than enough," Himiko says joyfully as she places her first serving of spaghetti into her mouth.

Himiko's pleased expression is more than enough to assure me that the meal was made successfully. Maki giggles as Himiko continues to eat happily and proceeds to try some of the food herself.

"It really is good Shuichi," Maki says smiling, "I'm sure even the pickier children at the orphanage would enjoy this meal."

Seeing Maki and Himiko happy with something that I made brings me joy. And with that, I begin to eat as well. The spaghetti is cooked perfectly, and the sauce has a perfect amount of different flavors in it. Satisfied with how the meal turned out, I continue eating and talking with Himiko and Maki. Each of us talks about work among other things. Maki talks about how she took the kids to a nearby park to play, and Himiko explains the magical process about how she channels portals to other realms when she pulls an exotic animal out of her hat. All in all, tonight's dinner was filled with happiness and laughter. Each of us has fun stories to tell about numerous happenings, and each of us feels satisfied when the meal is finished. I clear the plates off of the table and place a hot tea kettle and three teacups at the table's center. I pour tea into each of the teacups; the fragrance of chamomile fills the air around us. We each take a teacup and begin to sip the delectable liquid. The tea warms my body throughout with each sip that I take. I lightly exhale after I finish sipping the tea and place my teacup back on the table in front of me. I look over at Himiko who has begun to yawn.

"Tired?" I ask her smiling.

Himiko, now looking a bit drowsy, nods and says, "I think it's time for me to go to bed. I have to make sure that I get enough rest so I can perform my magic properly."

Himiko finishes her tea and stands up from her seat. "Thank you Shuichi for making such a wonderful meal."

"You're very welcome," I reply happily, "I hope that it will be enough for your ritual tomorrow."

"It will be more than enough to help me," Himiko says smiling. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Himiko," Maki and I both reply at the same time. Himiko walks to her room just a couple steps from the kitchen and closes the door behind her.

"I think I'm going to take a shower before I go to bed," says Maki getting up from her seat.

"Okay," I reply getting up, "I'll clean up everything here so you don't have to worry about it."

"Okay," says Maki looking at me, "and thank you for everything tonight. Dinner was delicious."

"Thank you," I reply looking down and smiling, "I'm just glad that you and Himiko both enjoyed."

"I especially did," says Maki smiling and lightly giggling, "you'll have to teach me how to make this recipe one day."

I start to blush even more. I turn and look into Maki's beautiful, crimson eyes and say, "I would love to." Maki smiles an even bigger smile and turns towards the bathroom. After she closes the bathroom door, I proceed to clear the table and clean the remaining dishes. After cleaning Maki and Himiko's cups, I reach for my teacup only to realize that it still has tea in it. I take the cup into my right hand, wrapping my fingers firmly around the handle, and walk into my bedroom. My room isn't the largest, but I didn't mind. It had just enough room, even with the bed in it, to walk around comfortably. The walls are dark blue and are outlined in a contrasting white. The floor is carpeted and is colored a dark shade of white compared to the outlining of the walls. As far as furniture is concerned, other than a bed, there really isn't much. I have a small, wooden nightstand next to the head of the bed. The nightstand has a small lamp on it and a small, digital alarm clock. The red lights on the clock display "9:30," on its face and illuminate the room slightly. There is also a wooden bookcase towards the back corner of the room that holds a row of different books and novels that I have read since we started living here. There is also a small dresser at the foot of the bed that rests against the wall. It has several compartments where I store different articles of clothing. And on top of the dresser rests a mirror where I can check to make sure that I look clean and tidy before I leave the room for the day. With teacup still in hand, I approach the window that is on the other side of my bedroom. I can see a road to the left that has several cars driving on it; their lights shine through the window and illuminate the room briefly as they pass by. Next to the road, several other buildings can be seen. Since it's so late, there isn't much to look at in the canopy of darkness. The only light to be seen, except from the occasional car that passes by, radiates from the full moon above. It envelopes the world around me in a gentle, white light. My mind begins to wander. I notice that my heart is beating quickly and gently place my left hand over my chest to feel it. 

"When did it start beating so fast," I think to myself.

It didn't take long for me to realize the answer to that question. Maki's smile enters into my mind and my heart begins to beat a little faster than before. I breathe out slightly in amusement and press my left hand harder against my chest. I can feel the outline of my necklace through my shirt. I trace my fingers over it more, feeling the contours beneath my clothing. I reach into my shirt, grab the necklace, and hold it out in my left hand. The necklace that I have is a chain necklace made out of steel. And the ornament that hangs at the bottom of the chain is a key. But in particular, it is a love key. The key is made of steel and has a heart shaped handle with a ruby at its center. From the handle descends the shaft, and at the bottom of the shaft the key has two bits. I run the key through my fingers and twirl it gently. The moonlight reflects off of the steel key and shines in the darkness. I remember the night Monokuma gave me this. I had gone to the casino for the first time and was looking through the prize collection:

"Hmm," I audibly mutter to myself as I look at all of the prizes at the prize counter, "I wonder if there is anything good here." The sound of different casino machines can be heard all around me in the background. But I was too focused on the prize counter that the noises couldn't break my concentration. I didn't even notice Monokuma's footsteps as he approached me from the side.

"Puhuhuhuhu," laughed Monokuma, "are you enjoying the casino Shuichi?"

I jumped in surprise and broke out in a cold sweat as soon as I heard his laugh.

"I see that you are fixated on what you should trade your hard earned casino coins for," said Monokuma amused.

"Ah, well," I said embarrassed, "there wasn't much to do tonight so I thought why not go to the casino. I played some of the games downstairs and won enough to get a prize."

"I see, I see," said Monokuma even more enthusiastically. "Then may I make a recommendation?"

"On what," I asked him puzzled and slightly on edge.

"On what prize you should choose for yourself of course," says Monokuma barely containing his excitement.

Before I can reply, Monokuma jumps over the counter and begins rummaging through the different prizes. Not long after, he jumps back over the counter holding something in his paws.

"TA-DAAAAA," says Monokuma loudly as he holds something in the air over his head.

"What is that," I ask quizzically.

"Why this is the answer to all of your problems!" Exclaims Monokuma.

I take the object that he is holding and examine it. "Is this..a key?" I ask still confused.

"How very observant of you Shuichi. But I bet you can't guess what it's for," teased Monokuma.

"I'm not..sure what this is for. Would you mind telling me," I asked a little nervous.

"Well since you asked so politely, I'll tell you." Monokuma put his hands over his chest and started to blush heavily. "It's the key to my heart Shuichi."

I remain silent and continue to give a cold stare to Monokuma. "Okay, okay, enough joking around. Because as we all know, I don't have a heart. I'm just filled with stuffing."

I continue my cold stare at Monokuma, driving the message across that I don't want to put up with his nonsense anymore. "Okay, fine," exclaimed Monokuma, "since you're going to be so rude about it. That key, the love key, is for the love hotel right outside this casino. It will allow you to take any person of your choosing into the love hotel. And while you are there, you and that other person will take part in a shared fantasy. And that fantasy will be based upon your deepest desires that you have for that other person." Monomuka began to sweat. "Just imagine all of the lustful and sexual things your teenage body has ever wanted to do with that other person. This love hotel will allow you to do all of those things and then some. And before you start thanking me, let me tell you the twist about this love hotel. After you and your lover conclude your fornication for the evening, your memories will be erased. So what happens in the hotel, stays in the hotel." It takes me a short while to process what Monokuma is telling me.

"W-wait so this means--"

"Oh Shuichi," interrupts Monokuma, "There's no need to be shy. After all, I already know who you are going to take to the love hotel."

My heart begins to race as Monokuma looks at me with a teasing expression. I try to maintain my composure and resist being swayed by Monokuma's antics, but it is no good. I start to blush and Monokuma begins to laugh.

"Puhuhuhuhuhu, don't worry, leave the set up to me. I'll be sure that you and your special someone will have the night of your life! I can hardly wait for tonight to come."

And with that, Monokuma disappears. I sigh and look down at the love key in my hands.

"This has to be a joke," I tell myself still trying not to be swayed by Monokuma's words. I keep telling myself this as I walk out of the casino and stand in front of the hotel. "Hotel Kumasutra," I say out loud as I read the name above the hotel's entrance. "Are you kidding me," I say to myself chuckling, "Monokuma must be having a laugh at me right now." But for whatever reason, something keeps compelling me to use the love key and enter the hotel. After a few moments, I clench my fists and proceed to the hotel entrance. I place the key into the lock on the entrance door. I turn the key in the lock, and I open the door with both hands. Once I am inside, I am met with an incredible sight.

"What..is this," I say dumbfounded.

The room I am in is tinted red and split into three sections. On the left side, there is what appears to be a slide in the back corner. On the right side of the room, there are numerous items such as whips, ropes, and chains laid out on a table. And in the middle part of the room, there is a huge, round bed surrounded by white drapes that hang from the ceiling and descend to the floor. What's even more eye-catching is the fact that the back of the bed is heart-shaped surrounded with yellow lights. I continue to look around the room. "This is crazy, even by Monokuma's standards," I say to myself. What kind of sadistic game is he getting at? I begin to walk around the room, taking in more and more of what's around me. "Maybe this was a bad idea," I tell myself shaking my head smiling a little. "This is just too much." As I am about to turn around to leave, the door opens once more and a figure enters the room. The door closes and locks behind them.

"I thought I would find you here Shuichi." Her voice is enough to make my heart race. I turn around to meet her gaze, and I immediately get lost in her crimson eyes. "Maki...What are you doing here," I ask still in a trance. Maki begins to fidget and blush.

"I just..had this feeling that you would be here that's all. I..really wanted to see you." Maki takes a few steps towards me, and my heart begins to race faster. None of us say anything for a few moments. During that silence, I try to recall what Monokuma had told me in the casino.

"Whenever I come here, the deep longings and desires that I have for the other person manifest themselves in some kind of shared fantasy. Maki will play her role in the fantasy, and I will play mine. I wonder how this is going to go, because my fantasy with Maki is--"

"Hey," Maki says interrupting my train of thought. "I've been meaning to talk to you about something for a while now."

"What is it," I ask Maki hesitating a bit.

"You, Kaito, and I have been together for a short while now. We've been doing our regular, evening workout sessions together, and have even spent long hours during the night staying up and talking together." Maki shuffles a little and starts to look downcast. "But now it seems like you are avoiding me...I mean us. At first you were enthusiastic to meet up with the two of us and spend time together. But recently, you haven't been coming to workout and talk with us. Instead you've been spending more time with Kokichi, Angie, and Keebo. And, I also can't help but feel that...you are doing it on purpose."

I tense up to what Maki is saying. What has been said so far wasn't fantasy, it was reality. The truth is, I have been avoiding Maki and Kaito recently. The more time I spent with them together, the more I saw that Maki began to notice Kaito more. Her gaze would always drift his way, she would smile more when he was around. And it didn't take long for my heart to become jealous. Jealousy...that's exactly what it was. At first it started out small, but then it grew larger to the point where just thinking about the two of them together made my chest hurt. I decided that it would be best for me not to be involved with the two of them anymore. I didn't want them to notice, and most importantly, I didn't want to ruin what Maki had for Kaito. As much as I wanted her to be mine, I couldn't help but feel that with each passing day, she drifted further and further away. But of course, I couldn't make her fall for me, and it would be wrong to put my feelings before hers. Which is why I chose to avoid the confrontation altogether and spent more time with other people. I tense up even more and look to the side in frustration with myself and the situation. Maki begins to look slightly worried in response.

"What's wrong," Maki asks me slightly concerned.

I smile a dejected smile. "It's nothing," I fib, "I think it was a mistake for me to come here, that's all."

I proceed to walk over to the door and put my hand on the door handle. I would have walked out, if Maki didn't instinctively reach her hand out and tightly grab my arm.

"Don't go," Maki yells, her voice cracking a little. I turn around to look at her face. She grits her teeth and looks into my eyes. Her cheeks start to turn red and tears begin to descend her face. The unreadable and cold facade that she used to put up has broken away.

"Don't leave me," says Maki trying to fight back the tears. "I..I...I love you Shuichi!"

My whole world freezes as I replay Maki's words in my mind over and over again. "That..can't be," I say under my breath.

"W-wh..why do you s-say that," cries Maki.

"Because you love Kaito," I say with whatever resolve I can muster.

Maki looks up at me, her cheeks now almost as crimson as her uniform and eyes. For an instant, Maki's expression goes from one of sadness, to one of anger. She raises her right hand into the air. And slaps me across the face.

"You're such an idiot," says Maki failing to fight back her tears once again. Too shocked to respond, I take my left hand and place it on my left cheek. The slap stings bad and leaves me at a loss for words. But before long, I find my body being lurched forward, and a sweet and soft sensation is placed upon my lips. Maki shuts her eyes and holds on to me tightly as she kisses me deeply. The shock of Maki slapping me is quickly replaced with a warm sensation in my heart. I close my eyes to absorb myself more into the kiss. Maki's lips...They're as soft as rose petals and as sweet as honey. I always wondered what it would be like to kiss her and to hold her. And now that I finally have the chance, I want nothing more than to be even closer to her. I wrap my arms around Maki's body and draw her closer to my own. In response, Maki breaks out of the kiss and snuggles into my body. Being able to hold and cherish her like this. Being able to feel and embrace her warmth. I never want this moment to end. I squeeze Maki tighter, and in response, she does the same. Our bodies are so close to each other that I can feel her heart beating against my chest.

"But Maki..why," I say still embracing her. Maki pulls back from me so that her face is in front of mine, but she keeps her arms wrapped around me and her body close.

"I notice you Shuichi, not Kaito."

"But that..can't be true," I say perplexed.

"It is true," Maki says forcefully. She reaches for my hand and envelopes it in both of hers. Her hands are slightly smaller than mine and, despite her being an assassin, are very soft and delicate.

"By just thinking about you, I'm filled with a happiness beyond comparison. But at the same time, I am filled with fear. Fear that someone is going to take you away from me and prevent us from being together forever." Maki's voice begins to crack again. "And just thinking about not being able to do something as simple as kissing you breaks my heart."

I embrace Maki tightly and nuzzle my head against her cheek. She hugs me tightly once again. "Which is why I'll always be by your side, close enough to hold your hand. I also want to..cuddle..just the two of us. I want us to be together forever and ever, and I want nothing to take that away from us."

Is this real, or is this Maki playing her part in the fantasy now? Whatever the case, the reality for me is that I do not want this moment to be taken away from me. I gently place my forehead on Maki's and stare into her eyes. Her crimson pools draw me in immediately. Her gaze was so resolute and captivating that I could feel it in my bones.

"I want you to promise me something Shuichi," says Maki blushing a little.

"What is it," I ask my gaze still fixed on her eyes.

"I want you to promise me a marriage proposal; I want you to promise me that we will be together forever." It took only a heartbeat for me to respond to Maki's request.

"I promise my dearest love."

Maki then smiles the biggest smile I have ever seen from her. It takes my breath away and makes me smile as well. Maki kisses and embraces me once again, and I do the same in response. After some time, we decide to lie down on the bed together and cuddle each other. Maki wraps her arms around my shoulders and buries her face into my chest. I plant a kiss on the top of her head and nuzzle my head against hers. There's nothing in the world that can make me happier than how I feel right now.

"My Maki," I whisper to her.

In response, Maki tightens her embrace around me and cuddles me more.

"My Shuichi," she mutters into my chest.

It doesn't take long before I start to nod off. I look down at Maki one last time. She has fallen asleep. But what's really cute is that she still has a smile on her face. Sleep starts to take me more. But before I can fully embrace it, Monokuma's words enter my mind.

"What happens in the hotel, stays in the hotel."

That's right, Maki and I won't remember this when we wake up. I almost feel the urge to wake Maki up to extend how long we can be in this state together. But what would be the point? No matter how much I want it, this memory will be forgotten and the two of us will not recall any of these events. I suddenly start to feel sad. I take my right hand and gently caress Maki's head with it. Her long, brown hair is soft to the touch.

"It was fun while it lasted," I say quietly to the world around me. "I'm heartbroken to say this Maki, but it looks like I will not be able to keep your promise. You and I will not remember this when we wake up tomorrow. It will be just like old times again. You and Kaito can resume your happy times together."

I sigh as I think back on what Maki said earlier. Everything that she said about noticing me instead of Kaito must have been part of the fantasy. As much as I want to, I can't turn fantasy into reality. I gently kiss Maki's head one last time and close my eyes. Before I fall asleep, tears start to roll down my cheeks. "I know we won't remember this when we wake up, but I love you Maki," I mutter with a pain in my throat and chest. And with that, I fall asleep.

 

That should have been the end of it, but it wasn't.

 

"RISE AND SHINE URSINE!"

The morning announcement wakes me up abruptly from my deep slumber.

"I hope you bastards had a good night sleep!"

"AND-BE-SURE-TO-HAVE-ANOTHER-WONDERFUL-DAY-FILLED-WITH-FRIENDSHIP."

"SO LONG, BEAR-WELL!"

And with that, the monitor shuts off. Despite being here for a while now, I'm still not used to being woken up like this. I blink a couple times to get the rest of the sleep out of my eyes. I fold back the covers of my bed and get up. I stretch out my arms and back and let out one more yawn. I open the door to the bathroom and walk towards the sink. I turn on the water and wait for it to warm up. As I wait, I look into the mirror above the sink. As I look into the mirror, I notice that my eyes are redder than usual. And underneath my eyes look like tear stains. I place left hand on my left cheek and run my fingers over what looks like the tear stains. As I do so, I feel a sting on my left cheek as I press my fingers down.

"What the heck," I think to myself. What happened to me while I was sleeping? "Maybe I had a nightmare," I think to myself.

I place my right hand under the flow of water coming from the faucet and confirm that it is warm enough. I cup both of my hands under the faucet and splash my face with the warm water. The sting coming from my left cheek slightly intensifies as I wash my face. I turn off the water and dry my face with a hand towel. I leave the bathroom and proceed over to my closet to get a change of clothes. All of the clothing in my closet is the same, so I just reach for the next suit that I can get my hands on the fastest. I get changed quickly and make my way to the door. As I reach for the doorknob, I hear the sound of my doorbell going off. "Who could that be?" I ask myself. I open the door and am surprised by who is there.

"Good Morning Shuichi, did you sleep well?"

"W-what are you doing here?" I ask hesitantly.

"Puhuhu, I am the headmaster after all. Am I not allowed to check up on my students?"

Monokuma walks past me and stands in the middle of my room. I close the door and turn around to meet his gaze. "Why are you here," I ask a bit forcefully.

"My, my, aren't we all fired up this morning," Monokuma says amused. "And here I was, going to put your mind at ease this morning."

Monokuma pretends to sulk, but his tricks don't faze me.

"What do you mean?" I ask on guard.

"Did you happen to notice anything interesting this morning? Like, say...I don't know...anything different about how you looked or felt?"

At first, I feel confused, but then I recall how this morning went thus far.

"What about it?" I say trying to act tough.

"Well, I can say for certain that you didn't have a nightmare last night. In fact, I can say that it was quite the opposite." I can only stand there and continue to listen to Monomuka's ramblings. Trying to understand what he is saying or what is going on right now is only making me more confused.

"It's too bad that you can't remember...at least until now that is."

Before I can react, Monokuma snickers and takes out a flashback light. He points it at me and flips the switch.

 

Thinking back on it now, a part of me wishes he hadn't.

 

Flashing before my eyes are all of the events that transpired last night. Everything that took place between me and Monokuma at the casino and between me and Maki at the hotel is laid out before me. And when the flashback light's effects stop, I can only stand in a daze.

"And before you think that I am lying, here."

Monokuma takes out a love key and throws it at me. I'm still in a daze so I fail to catch the key. It hits my body and drops to the floor, making a clinking sound with every impact it makes.

"This is the love key that I gave you at the casino and the one that you used at the love hotel. Consider it a souvenir from me," says Monokuma with a sly grin on his face.

More in touch with reality now, I reach down and take the key into my hands. I hold it in front of my face and stare at it blankly. The feeling of Maki slapping me, the feeling of her body so close to mine, the feeling of holding her in my arms, the feeling of her soft hair on my skin. And most of all, the feeling of her soft and sweet lips against my own. My body recollects all of it and sends my heart racing.

"So last night..really happened?" I ask softly to the air around me.

"Of course it did," says Monokuma excitedly, "would a bear ever tell a lie?"

Thinking things over more, I look up at Monokuma and say,

"Why did you give me these memories? You told me that I would forget everything after that night. It doesn't make any sense that you would just give them back to me."

"Oh? It doesn't make sense?" Monokuma asks. Barely containing his excitement Monokuma says, "Look outside Shuichi."

A sudden anxiety takes over me, and the feelings of joy that I felt only a short moment ago are quickly replaced with ones of stress. I turn around and open the door to my room. And downstairs in the lobby of the dormitory was the answer to why Monokuma gave me back my memories of last night.

"I'll see you later then Maki-roll!"

"This was your idea, so I hope you intend to do all of that exercise with me or I'll kill you."

 

"Do you see it now Shuichi?"

I do...

Monokuma gave me my memories, but Maki doesn't remember a thing. To her, last night never happened and nothing has changed. Everything that happened between us at the hotel will remain just as Monokuma said it would...a fantasy.

"Puhuhuhu, that look of despair on your face is priceless. Not only do you have to live with the fact that Maki will never remember the events that took place last night, but you have to face that her feelings for Kaito are growing more and more. How does it feel Shuichi? How does it feel knowing that the girl that you love will never feel the same about you? How does it feel to know that everything that transpired last night is meaningless because you are the only one that remembers that it ever happened?"

Monokuma's words cut through me and send chills throughout my body.

"You're a monster," I mutter back to him.

"Aw don't say that," Monokuma says sulkily, "I'm just a bear that only wants to bring despair to the whole world!"

Monokuma lets out one of his signature laughs and disappears from sight. It feels like somebody is wrapping barbed wire around my heart and lungs and is tugging on the wire at full strength. Every breath hurts. I grasp the handrail in front of me with both of my hands trying to maintain my balance. So this was Monokuma's plan all along. To get me to lay all of my feelings and emotions out to Maki at the love hotel so that he could take advantage of them. He played me like a fiddle. I suddenly start to feel ill and make my way slowly back to my room. As soon as I close the door, I flip the light switch and collapse onto my bed. I lie on my bed motionless and lifeless. Not a single part of me wants to move. I hold the love key in front of me again. I can barely see it in the darkness of my room, but I didn't have to, to start crying. I press my face against my pillow to suppress my cries. Eventually, I drift back to sleep. When I do wake back up and find tear stains on my face, I don't need an explanation as to why they are there. I quickly wipe my eyes and flip the light switch. I quickly wash up once more and leave my room. I walk out of the dormitory building and stretch out my body. As I'm doing so, I hear the sound of footsteps quickly approaching me.

"Hey, Shuichi!" I look over to see two people running at me.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" I say with as much of a smile I can muster.

"Atua has spoken Shuichi. You should spend the rest of today with me and Kokichi."

"Yeah Shuichi I agree, and for once, I'm not lying."

Seeing the two of them excited to spend time with me does well to lift my spirits.

"Sure," I say with new resolve, "What do you guys wanna do?"

"First we should go spy on Keebo," Kokichi says with a sly grin on his face.

"Then afterward we should go to my Ultimate Lab," Angie says cheerfully with a wide smile on her face, "then I can paint a portrait of the three of us together."

"That sounds like a lot of fun," I say enthusiastically. "Okay then come on,"

Kokichi says as he makes his way to the main building. As the three of us start walking, Kaito and Maki emerge from the main building. My heart stops.

"Yo Shuichi," shouts Kaito.

As much as I want to avoid this confrontation, I gather my resolve and acknowledge his presence.

"Hey, Kaito, what's up?"

"Maki-roll and I are going to do some more intense exercise tonight, you in?"

I can see Maki staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I do my best to mainly focus on Kaito.

"I wish I could make it," I say trying my best to sound disappointed, "but Angie, Kokichi, and I have some stuff going on tonight."

Kaito looks at all three of us and says, "Ah I see. Well maybe we can all hang out afterward," Kaito says energetically.

"Yeah, that would be a great idea," Kokichi says to Kaito smiling.

"Wow, really?" Kaito responds almost shocked.

"No, it's a lie," responds Kokichi with his mischevious grin. "Besides," continues Kokichi, "I wouldn't want Ms. Assassin here to gut me while we are all hanging out together."

I purse my lips and shut my eyes. Without even looking, I can feel Maki's gaze burn into Kokichi's head.

"Nyee hee hee," laughs Kokichi, "be careful there. If you give such a powerful look like that to someone, they might fall in love you."

Kokichi's words linger on in my mind long after they were said. He was right, someone might just fall in love with her...Someone like me.

I open my eyes and turn to Kokichi and Angie. "Cut it out Kokichi," I say with some force behind it. Kokichi turns to me and acknowledges my request. "You're right Shuichi, who could fall in love with her?"

I start to get a little more frustrated. And without thinking, I reply,

"You'd be surprised who could fall in love with someone such as her."

A silence lingers in the air around us longer than I would like. Knowing fully well what I said, I don't even think of looking in Maki's direction.

To break the silence, I turn back to Angie and Kokichi and say, "come on, let's go find Keebo."

My attempt works, and Angie and Kokichi lead the way into the main building. As I pass by Kaito, I briefly exchange a goodbye with him, and he does the same with his usual enthusiasm. Angie holds the door open for me and I take it with my left hand.

Before I walk into the building, however, I start to feel something strange. It's a feeling that I've felt before, so I know what it is without having to look.

 

It was Maki's gaze as she stares at me from behind.

 

I can only guess that she is staring at me because I embarrassed her in front of everyone else. I try to shake off the uneasiness, but the feeling lingers with me for the remainder of the day.

Kokichi, Angie, and I, despite me making the day awkward at the beginning, end up enjoying ourselves. We spied on Keebo, who eventually caught us in the act, and spent time with him in the gymnasium. Keebo came up with this idea to start a comedic play. So the four of us each came up with different parts that we would play in different scenes. It turned out to be a lot of fun. I don't think any of us have laughed so hard before. We decided to include Keebo in our visit to Angie's Ultimate Lab. And once there, Angie began to conceptualize the portrait that she wanted to make of all of us together.

"Nyahahaha, this painting is going to be so divine," Angie says gleefully as she begins to paint.

"I'm sure that it will turn out great," says Keebo, "thank you for allowing me to accompany you guys."

"Meh, it's fine," says Kokichi, "normally activities like this are for humans only, but I'm feeling generous today."

"How rude," remarked Keebo, "you should practice better manners Kokichi."

"You're right Keebo. So I'll take back what I said about feeling generous because it was a lie, and lying is rude."

"Y-you're one to talk about lying being rude," Keebo responds dumbfounded.

To be honest, their back and forths are rather amusing to watch. Kokichi may be a liar, but I've found him to be a valuable friend despite that. Angie, despite her head being filled with Atua, is also fun to hang out with. She has a bubbly and charismatic aura about her that lightens my day and the days of the people around her. And Keebo, despite him being a robot, is also a great friend and someone that you can truly count on. I smile at the happenings that are taking place around me. I'm glad that I got to know these people and got to spend quality time with them. It's certainly making our time here at the Academy of Gifted Juveniles, or whatever Monokuma and the Monokubs call it, a lot easier. I put my hands in my pockets and realize that I still have the love key on me. I pull it out of my right pocket and hold it in my hand. Sadness and the reminder of Maki's glare from earlier begin to resurface inside of me. Under normal circumstances, if something is causing me this much trouble I would try to detach myself from whatever it is. But this isn't a normal circumstance. And try as I might I can't muster enough resolve, not even close, to even think about disposing of this key. This key...The reminder of my wonderful night with a wonderful girl. I never want to forget that moment. I walk towards Angie, who is still painting and humming cheerfully.

"Hey Angie," I ask with a hint of shyness in my voice, "when you get a chance, can you do me a favor?"

"Why of course Shuichi, what is it that you would like me to do," Angie replies happily.

"Can you create a necklace and have this key be the ornament attached to the chain?" I hand the key over to Angie.

"Why of course Shuichi, I shall make it for you today."

"Thanks, Angie," I reply.

"By the way Shuichi, what is this key for anyway," Angie askes taking the handle of her paintbrush and placing it against her cheek.

"This key," I say after taking a breath,

 

"is the key to my heart."

 

I remember that day like it was yesterday. The happiness I felt, and especially the sorrow, are still fresh in my mind. Despite all that has happened since then, nothing has changed. I remember the night Maki and I spent together, and she doesn't. That's that. Before I can think any more on the matter, my attention is drawn to the sound of footsteps behind me. I turn around. The room is dark so I can only make out her silhouette, but her red eyes cut through the darkness. I quickly take my necklace and tuck it back underneath my shirt so that it's out of view.

"Hey Maki," I say plainly.

"Hey Shuichi," replies Maki.

I look at the digital clock on my nightstand to reconfirm the time.

"It's getting a little late, is everything okay," I ask Maki slightly perturbed due to her sudden appearance.

"Yeah everything's fine," Maki replies, "I just...wanted to check in on you that's all."

"Check in on me," I ask curiously,

"Did I do something to make you worry?"

Maki grabs one of her pigtails and begins to run both of her hands through it.

"I just can't help but notice that you seem sad," says Maki slightly downcast, "And I can't help but feel like it's because of me."

Damn it. I guess I haven't been doing a good enough job of hiding my emotions, at least to her. I genuinely feel awful because Maki doesn't deserve any of this. She shouldn't have to feel anything adverse because I am unable to control my emotions, especially since her, Himiko, and I are basically a family now.

"I'm sorry for making you feel that way," I say as sincerely as possible, "I can assure you that I'm fine and that there is nothing to worry about."

This wasn't entirely true, but I couldn't tell Maki the full truth. Undoubtedly it would cause a rift between us. And none of us want that to happen.

"I'm not convinced," Maki responds, "Even while we were in the Danganronpa world, you were distant then as well. You started to spend your time with Angie, Kokichi, and Keebo mainly. You would even talk to Kaito here and there. But it seemed like you were going out of your way to avoid me...It seemed like you wanted nothing to do with me."

I could tell in Maki's voice that she was getting slightly upset. I'm surprised that Maki is showing this much emotion, this isn't like her at all. At this point, given how emotional Maki is becoming, it doesn't seem like words are going to be effective here. So instead of trying to refute what Maki said, I decide to hug her.

This is a very bold and daring move on my part, especially since Maki still has her assassin's instincts and reflexes. But I was willing to take my chances. I wrap my arms around her, teacup still in my right hand, and hold her gently. I can feel her body tense up in response. I fully expect her to grab and throw me off of her similarly to how Tenko would deal with anyone that she opposed. But after a few moments, Maki's body begins to relax. Her breathing starts to slow down and she starts to become calmer.

Satisfied, I say to Maki, "That's not true at all. I will never throw you away." I pause for a moment and softly say, "How could I?"

I close my eyes and focus on the feeling of holding Maki in my arms once again. The softness of her hair and her skin, the sound of her breathing, the beating of her heart. It's just like it was in the love hotel. Except this time, this is real for both of us. As much as I would love to stay like this forever, I'm sure Maki is waiting to get out of it. I unwrap my arms from around Maki's back and take a step back to give her space.

Maki doesn't say anything for a short while. Instead, she stands still and stares into space. It didn't bother me though. I'm sure that the hug was a big surprise to her. After some time, Maki simply looks up at me and says, "Goodnight Shuichi."

She turns around and walks out of my room. Her footsteps drift further away until eventually the sound of her bedroom door closing can be heard. I sigh audibly and finish the rest of my tea, which by now is barely room temperature. As I make my way to the kitchen sink to wash my teacup, my mind replays the conversation Maki and I had just a moment ago. I become frustrated with my pitiful self for letting things get like this. Not only did I cause Maki to worry, but I made her feel like she was worthless. Filled with even more frustration, I slam my fists against the kitchen counter. It makes an audible bang throughout the room, but it isn't loud enough to draw the attention of Maki and Himiko. I turn on the faucet and rinse my teacup out. I place it on the dry rack next to the other teacups that were placed there earlier and make my way back to my bedroom. I shut my bedroom door and change into my pajamas. By the time I change, the clock on my nightstand reads "10:15."

"Time for bed," I tell myself as I sit on the side of my bed. I push the alarm button on my alarm clock to wake me up early tomorrow. I fold back my bed sheets and tuck myself into bed.

"Goodnight," I say to myself before I close my eyes. I hope that tomorrow will be a good day.

 

That's what I had hoped anyway. But the next day was when our hope started turning into despair.

If only I had known what was going to happen ahead of time...I would have held Maki in my arms longer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay. The end of my semester at college is really taking its toll on me. Nevertheless, I will forge ahead and keep writing!
> 
> For this chapter, I really wanted to lay the groundwork for why Shuichi will act the way that he does to save Maki from the assassin clan. I especially wanted to focus on the jealousy aspect of how he feels because Maki had feelings for Kaito in the game, and to be honest I wanted Shuichi and Maki to be together in the end.
> 
> Will Shuichi and Maki be together in the end? I guess we'll have to find out. :)
> 
> I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter and are looking forward to the next one. Summer vacation is around the corner so I will have a lot more time to write during then!


	3. My Ultimate Sacrifice

"Shuichi."

I'm suddenly awoken by the sound of Himiko's voice.

"Shuichi, I think it's time you went to bed."

My head is throbbing and my eyesight is blurry from being awoken so suddenly. I use my right sleeve to wipe some saliva off of the side of my mouth and look up at the clock hanging on the wall of the kitchen. The kitchen is dimly lit by a light on the ceiling so I am able to make out the hands of the clock. The clock reads "11:00." I look over at Maki's seat at the dinner table and see that her food, which I had wrapped up for her hours ago, is still there as I had left it.

"She still hasn't come home?" I ask Himiko with worry in my voice.

"No, she hasn't," replies Himiko.

Maki hasn't come home yet tonight. In fact, she didn't come back the last night either. At first, Himiko and I thought it was because she had to work late the first night. But when neither of us had seen her that night or the morning after, we both started to worry. I look up at the clock again to make sure that I am not imagining this.

"D-Don't worry Shuichi," says Himiko trying to calm me down a little, "I'm sure Maki is okay. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before she comes home."

My heart becomes heavy and I start to become distressed. This isn't normal behavior for Maki. How could she just disappear so suddenly?  My mind starts to race and I am reminded of the various executions that we had to bear witness to in the Danganronpa world.

What if Maki was-- "NO NO NO," I scream to myself. Maki's fine, she's okay. She's going to come back soon, and everything will be okay. I don't want to worry Himiko any further so I muster whatever resolve I can gather and try to give her a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, maybe I'm just overreacting. I'm sure Maki is fine."

Himiko smiles at me and proceeds back to her room. I proceed out of the kitchen as well, but instead of going to my room I make my way to Maki's room. I knock lightly on the door. Despite me knowing that Maki isn't home, there is still a small part of me that hopes that she is. But the lack of response from the other side of the door only crushes that hope immediately. I sigh, and slowly open her bedroom door. Maki's room is smaller compared to the other two bedrooms in the apartment. I insisted on giving her my bedroom which is slightly larger, but she said that this small one was fine. The walls are painted crimson red and are outlined in white. The carpeted floor is white as well, making a nice contrast to the color on the walls. There is also a white window with white drapes hanging on the sides of the window frame on the wall across from where you walk in. During the day, and sometimes at night, you can see the beautiful, lush trees of the nearby park. Often times when I brought a cup of tea to Maki in her room, I would see her sitting at the foot of her bed in her usual sitting position. She would sit crouched so her left knee was brought to her chin. Then she would place her left hand over her knee and she would rest her chin on top of the back of her hand. The sunlight from the window would reflect off of her, accentuating her already magnificent beauty. And even though Maki is a reserved person, I would always see a smile on her face as she looked out of her bedroom window. I also take note of the scent of Maki's room. It's a pleasant and sweet aroma that almost reminds me of a subtle perfume. But it isn't perfume, it is Maki's natural scent. As the aroma of her room captivates my nostrils, I am once again reminded of the night that we spent in the love hotel. When I held Maki close, when I cuddled her, when I kissed her. She had that sweet, natural scent then as well, and it certainly captivated me then too. A smile makes its way onto my face as I recall those moments in time from the love hotel and when I brought Maki her tea occasionally. How I would give anything just to envelope her in a warm, strong embrace and tell her how much I love her.

But I can't. That's my cold reality...my despair.

My heart feels like it's breaking as I recall this fact.  I forcefully snap myself out of my daydream and scan Maki's room once more. The only furniture in her room is a bed, a small nightstand which sits near the head of her bed, and a wooden wardrobe that sits to the left of the door for holding her uniforms. Maki's bed is placed in the back left corner of the room. The frame of the bed is made out of a smooth, dark wood, and the mattress is covered with a white sheet and a red comforter. And at the head of the bed, there are two white pillows neatly placed next to each other. I can just imagine her sitting in her bed right now. If I stood in her room like this long enough, she would eventually stare at me and say, "What's wrong?" Obviously, nothing was wrong. But more often than not I couldn't help myself from staring at her. Realizing the futility of me reminiscing about the past, I proceed out of Maki's room, gently close her bedroom door, and go back to the kitchen table. I sit down in my usual seat under the dim light and place my head on top of my folded arms and face Maki's seat.

"Where have you gone Maki," I mutter to the air around me.

I'm too anxious to fall back asleep, and sitting here doing nothing is making me too nervous.

"I have to get out of the apartment," I tell myself.

I turn on the water in the sink and wash my face a couple times to wake myself up more. I grab my suit jacket from my bedroom and leave the apartment.

  
As I leave, I start to feel worse than before. My stomach and mind feel sick and my heart is aching. My head starts to throb and my vision blurs from time to time. I begin to walk aimlessly throughout the different streets. The darkness and cold of the night send chills throughout my body. The only sources of light illuminating the darkness are from the different street and traffic lights that I pass by. I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket to try to stave off the cold. I try to think and do anything that I can to take my mind off of Maki's sudden disappearance.

"Why would she disappear like this," I say to the air around me.

A sudden surge of frustration overtakes my body and I violently punch a nearby brick wall with my right fist. Waves of pain surge through my right hand and arm. I grit my teeth tightly to try to ease the pain, but to no avail. I pull my hand away from the wall and look at it in the light of the streetlight above me. My knuckle is badly bruised and cut. If I had hit the wall any harder, I'm sure the bones in my hand would have broken. I let out a deep sigh and keep walking. By now, rain starts to drizzle down from the sky above. A small, wry smile creeps on my face in response. It's almost as if the world is mocking me with this depressing atmosphere. After walking a short while longer, I find myself approaching the entertainment district of the city. Lights and neon signs of different entertainment venues can be seen through the drizzling rain. As I walk closer, the sound of slow, nighttime music can be heard. I begin making my way through the district. I slowly walk past the different venues and storefronts and take in the different kinds of sights around me. The sounds of music and people laughing flood my mind. As I near the end of the street, I notice an alleyway to my left. And towards the back of the alleyway, I see the silhouettes of two people fighting. Curious at what is happening, I proceed to walk into the alleyway. I try to manage my way through the dark without drawing the attention of the two other people. As I get closer, the sounds of the brawl become more distinct and violent and the silhouettes start to become more clear. Before I can comprehend fully what is happening, my heart stops at the sound of a man's muffled screams. One of the silhouettes slumps over, and the other silhouette holds them in their arms. Chills are sent through my body. After a moment, the silhouette holding the other pulls their right hand off of them. The other silhouette drops to the floor lifelessly and remains there. It's only now that I realize what is happening.

This is the scene of a murder.

I inch my way ever closer to the scene.  The silhouette who supposedly killed the other still stands over the other person's body. And as I get closer, I see the person responsible for the murder and am overwhelmed by a crushing feeling of despair.

Crimson eyes, long, brown hair, black and crimson school uniform, and a bloody knife clutched in her right hand. As much as I don't want to believe it, this is the desperate truth.

"M-Maki?!"

I instinctively call out to her, completely stunned by what she just did. Maki recoils a bit, apparently taken aback by the fact that someone was watching her. She looks around quickly and then finally notices me in the darkness. She drops the knife and takes several steps back. The blood from the knife and from the body mix with the rain and run along the ground, staining my shoes. I walk over to the body and quickly inspect it. There is a single stab wound to the left lung. The blood from stab wound mixes with the body's wet clothing. Death was immediate. I look back at Maki, who is still standing in the same spot with a look of despair on her face. I get up from the body and slowly walk over to her. With each step I take, Maki tenses up more and more. Until finally, when I approach her, she clenches her fists and grits her teeth.

"Why...Maki," I whisper to her, still trying to comprehend what just happened.

Maki turns her head away, her hair now covering her eyes, and says, "You wouldn't understand."

Her words cut through my heart and cause me to lightly gasp in shock. I suddenly become desperate and shout, "You just killed someone Maki!"

Maki stays silent for a second, but then says something that completely devastates me.

"Do you...want to die?"

"W-what," I say shocked and confused.

Before I can react to anything else, Maki forcefully grips my right shoulder with her left hand. And when her face comes into view, my body completely freezes. Maki gives me a look of absolute terror and wrath, one similar to the one she gave to the Exisal that she thought housed Kokichi during the 5th class trial. And as I am filled with a fear beyond belief, Maki's right hand forms a fist and she punches me square in the face. My head jerks back and my body is launched away from Maki. My face goes numb and my back slams into the wall behind me. My body falls to the ground and I am immediately filled with an agonizing pain. I roll onto my face and stomach before my body finally comes to a halt. My entire body feels like death. My head is throbbing, the inside of my mouth and nose are bloody, and all of my limbs feel like they are broken. The only sound I can hear in the rainfall is the sound of me gasping for breath through the agonizing pain. I tightly grip my right hand and use it to try to lift my body off of the ground. As I do so, I grit my teeth and lift my head just enough to look up at Maki. I meet Maki's gaze, fully expecting her to still be staring at me with a look of a killer. But instead, she stares at me in complete horror at what she just did. Her eyes and mouth are wide open in shock, and before long tears start to roll down her cheeks.

"Maki," I say to her trying to talk through the huge amount of pain that I am in, "...Why."

Maki starts to cry more. She covers her mouth to suppress the sound of her bawling. She's unsuccessful, and soon the alley is filled with the sound of her cries. I muster enough strength to bring myself to my knees and watch as Maki slumps into a fetal position in the corner of the alley. My body struggles to move, but I can't leave Maki alone like this. I somehow manage to stand on one of my legs, blood still dripping from my nose and mouth, and stagger over to Maki. By the time I reach her, I'm gasping for air and I collapse on all fours. With my remaining energy, I embrace Maki as tight as I possibly can from the side. I use my left sleeve to quickly wipe away more blood from my face and nuzzle into Maki's body.

Maki, trying to hold back her tears, turns to me and says, "You can't stay here Shuichi. They're coming for me."

I look at Maki, taken aback by what she just said, and ask, "Who's coming for you?"

All of a sudden, two men whose bodies are covered in long, black attire approach Maki and I. Their faces are covered and they stare at us with menacing eyes. Still in pain from Maki's punch to my face, I can only look up at them through the rain and ask, "Who...are you?"

None of the men answer me. Instead, one of them looks over at Maki and says, "Sloppy work Maki, I expected more from the Ultimate Assassin."

Maki doesn't respond and simply looks down at the ground. Annoyed at Maki's lack of a response, the man quickly grabs Maki's shirt and hoists her up in the air with his strong grip.

"ANSWER ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU BITCH," yells the man.

Maki places both of her hands on the man's arm to try to get him to let go. Instead, the man mocks Maki and says, "defy my at your own risk."

After the man says that, he throws Maki against the wall of the alleyway. Maki's body falls to the ground. She desperately tries to get up, but the man prevents her from doing so. He crushes one of Maki's hands with his right foot and proceeds to kick her with his left. Filled with an overwhelming anger, I try to get up to stop the man from hurting Maki. Reflexively, the other man punches me down to the ground. All I can do is watch with blurred vision as Maki continuously gets attacked over and over again. After what seems like an eternity, the man stops his violent rampage and stands over Maki's limp body. I can hear Maki gasping for breath as she struggles to move.

The man crouches down next to Maki and says, "Don't forget who you work for and what our demands are. Enjoy this little reprieve right now Maki, but do a sloppy job again on the next assignment and we will do more than just beat you down."

The man straightens his body and says, "We'll be expecting you at the park tomorrow night. Try to run and we will hunt you down to the ends of the Earth and kill you."

The man starts to walk out of the alley, and the other man follows him from behind. I look over at Maki's body. She lies lifeless on the ground, blood running from her face.  Her blood mixes with the rain on the ground and washes away with the current. Her body is also badly battered and bruised. As I try to stand up, my legs give out and I collapse face first onto the ground in front of me. In an act of desperation, instead of standing, I crawl over to Maki's body. The bloody water from the dead body and Maki's body washes against me staining my clothing. I get close enough to Maki so that I can place my right hand over hers and firmly grip it. I look into Maki's eyes and notice that she is now looking at me.

"Shuichi," she mutters to me.

"I'm going to get us out of here Maki. I promise."

I bite my lip in an attempt to suppress the pain in my body as I struggle to stand up once again. Maki's gaze follows my face as I slowly, but surely, stand on my feet. I limp over to her body and slide my arms under her. I let out an agonizing scream as I lift her. I stand up, cradling Maki in my arms. She is beaten badly and her clothes are torn. Her face is dirty and bloody. But still...I look into Maki's eyes and feel my heart skip a beat. Maki stares at me back, her crimson eyes completely absorbing me into them.

"What's...wrong," Maki mutters to me, still breathing heavily from the beating she just endured.

I chuckle to myself. Even now as the both of us have been physically beaten in the middle of a rainy night, I can still look at Maki and see just how beautiful she is. It's times like these that remind me just how madly in love I am with her.

I look back into Maki's eyes and say, "Everything will be okay, I promise Maki. I promise I'll take care of you."

I gather my strength and start to walk out of the alley with Maki in my arms. Her body hangs somewhat limp as I carry her, and her long, brown hair almost grazes the ground. I notice the bloody knife on the ground. This goes against everything I stand for, but this is incriminating evidence against Maki if the police find it. I take the knife and put it in my pocket.

"It doesn't matter anyway," I tell myself, "If everything is as I think it is and goes according to my plan, then I won't be a detective anymore starting tomorrow."

The rain starts to pick up more, washing away some of the dirt and blood off of both of our bodies. As we get further down the road, I hear the sound of police sirens in the distance.

"They must have found the body," I say to Maki. I look down at her to reassure her. "Don't worry. I took the knife with me. They won't know that you were there."

Maki continues to stare at me with a resolute, yet gentle gaze. I can only imagine the hell that she's been through with all of this. But no longer. No longer will Maki suffer at the hands of these people.

I swear it.

I continue to reassure Maki and myself that everything will be okay as we walk back to the apartment. I carry her into the building, go up several flights of stairs, and walk to our door. As I open the door, I see Himiko waiting desperately at the kitchen table.

"Nyeeeeh," squeals Himiko, "Where have you been Shuichi?!"

It takes a second for Himiko to register that I'm carrying a half-conscience Maki in my arms.

"M-M-Maki?! What happened to you?!"

"Himiko," I say with urgency in my voice, "Please open Maki's bedroom door for me."

Himiko rushes over to Maki's bedroom door and opens it as requested. I walk into Maki's room and gently place her on her bed. Her wet and dirty body stains the bed sheets under her.  Overcome with pain and exhaustion, Maki passes out on her bed.

"Shuichi, is Maki going to be okay?"

Himiko sounds worried, and with good reason. I gently place my hands on Maki's abdomen and check for any broken bones or internal bleeding. After a moment, a breathe a small sigh of relief.

"She'll be fine Himiko, she just needs some rest right now."

Himiko seems to calm down a little, but not by much. I walk out of Maki's room and into the bathroom. I turn on the light and look into the mirror. My face and suit have stains of blood and dirt all over them. My face is also bruised from being punched by both Maki and that man. I also notice that my knuckle is still scraped and bloody from when I punched the wall earlier. But the extent of my injuries is not nearly as bad as Maki's. I turn on the hot water in the sink and rinse most of the blood and dirt from my face. I then place my suit jacket into the laundry bin and grab a bucket and a towel from the closet near the living room. I fill the bucket with warm water and place a little bit of soap in it. I take the bucket and the towel into Maki's room and place it next to her bed.

"What are you doing Shuichi," asks Himiko.

I smile a small, shy smile and say to Himiko, "I just want to clean Maki up a little bit. It's saddening to see her like this. The least I can do is clean the visible parts of her body, especially since she's been through so much."

I sit on the side of Maki's bed and dip the towel slightly into the bucket of warm, soapy water. I remove Maki's shoes and dark stockings and start to gently wipe away any dirt or blood that is on her body. As I do this, I begin to tell Himiko what happened between me and Maki tonight.

"What does this mean Shuichi," Himiko asks somewhat frantically.

I let out a deep sigh and say, "This organization is going to force Maki to keep killing people whether she likes it or not. If she tries to run, they'll just find her and beat her down until she complies. It doesn't seem like she has an escape."

Himiko looks down with a sad expression. I finish cleaning Maki's legs and feet and move to her arms next.

"Don't worry Himiko," I say with a small smile on my face, "I have a plan that will save Maki."

Himiko looks at me with slight worry in her eyes and says, "What are you going to do Shuichi."

Ever since leaving Danganronpa with Maki and Himiko, I was determined to keep all of us safe from harm. I knew Maki would be in danger when we escaped due to her worldwide reputation as the Ultimate Assassin, despite that being the title given to her by Tsumugi. And even though our backstories may be fabricated, to us it is all too real. I thought, very naively, that we could put our Ultimate Talents to good use and live our new lives to the fullest. I became a detective, Himiko became a magician, and Maki fulfilled her dream of becoming the Ultimate Child Caregiver. But as it turns out, Maki was hunted down for her skills, and it seems like this group is not willing to give her up. And I know that Maki told me that I couldn't stop the assassin clan using my detective skills.  Instead, she said that I should instead prevent events from happening where an assassin would need to be used. But tomorrow, Maki will be taken away from us again. Maybe even permanently. It would take me too long to try to solve the worlds problems to the point where assassins would no longer have to be needed. And I can't go through each day knowing that Maki is suffering at the hands of these people. I take my left hand and clutch at the love key once more. I love Maki too much to see her suffer any longer. And I would gladly sacrifice myself if it meant that she had the opportunity to finally put all of this behind her and live the life that she wants to live. I put the towel in the bucket and turn to Himiko.

I stand up, and with a serious expression I say to Himiko, "I will go to the park tomorrow and take Maki's place as the Ultimate Assassin."

Himiko's eyes widen in shock. She starts to panic and says frantically, "Shuichi!! What are you saying?! You-You...You can't do this!!"

Himiko's expression is one mixed with sadness, disbelief, and anger. I can only imagine what she's feeling right now, but I've made up my mind.

"Himiko you have to trust me."

"Nyeeeeeeeeh! How can I go along with a plan such as this?! It's just as crazy as a level one mage taking on the final boss!"

"I understand how you feel...But I won't let the assassin clan take Maki away from us...Which is why I will go in her place."

Himiko, still acting frantic, tries to compose herself. I turn back to Maki, take the towel back into my hands, and start to gently wipe her face.

"I made a promise to Maki before we left Danganronpa. I promised her that I would take care of her. That I would be there for her. That I would end this nightmare of hers. She said that I was the only one that could do it. She entrusted me with her dream. Her dream of finally being free from assassin work and living a normal life. And I intend to fulfill her dream and keep the promise that we made no matter the cost to me."

I finish wiping Maki's face. I gently graze her cheek with the back of my right hand. Her skin is soft and her face is porcelain. Her hair touches my hand and envelopes it. Oh, how precious you are Maki. I place the towel in the bucket and turn to face Himiko. Himiko clutches at her magician's hat. Still disturbed, she breathes a small sigh and smiles a little.

"Shuichi...Do you love Maki?"

Himiko's question takes me by surprise. I turn slightly to the side and blush. My reaction confirms Himiko's suspicions.

I smile and say, "With all of my heart and soul."

Himiko's smile widens and she says, "I-I'll never accept your plan Shuichi. But my master once told me that love was the most powerful magic in the world. And seeing you like this with Maki...It allows me to understand what my master told me."

I smile at Himiko's kind words. I turn back to Maki and become captivated once again.

"She really is the most beautiful and cute girl I have ever seen."

I lightly laugh to myself. I'm sure if Maki heard me say that about her, she would pout at me.

"But Shuichi, aren't you worried what Maki will do when she finds out that you'll take her place? Aren't you worried that Maki will be heartbroken?"

My heart suddenly starts to crack and my expression becomes one of sadness. I find myself fiddling with the love key once more.

"I'm sure Maki will be shocked that I did this...But she won't be heartbroken."

Himiko looks at me puzzled and asks, "Why do you think that?"

I look down at the floor and say, "Because I am not the one she has her heart set on that's why."

Himiko thinks for a moment and then asks, "Are you talking about her feelings for Kaito?"

I grit my teeth as Himiko's ability to catch on quick pierces my heart. I place the towel in the bucket and proceed to walk out of Maki's room.

"Please Himiko," I mutter to her with a pained expression, "Don't make this harder than it has to be."

Himiko stares at me as I walk out of Maki's bedroom. I dump the water into the bathtub to avoid making a mess in the sink and clean up after myself. I walk back to Maki's room to make sure that she is still sound asleep and gently close her bedroom door.

"I hope you can rest easy my love," I whisper at the door.

I turn off the lights in the kitchen and bathroom and walk into my room. I change out of the rest of my clothes and into my pajamas. I look at the clock on my nightstand, the red numbers being my only source of light in my dark room. 12:30 it reads.

"Before this time tomorrow," I tell myself, "Maki and I will have traded places. Who knows what hellish nightmare awaits me."

Before I get into bed, Himiko walks into my room.

"Shuichi," she says nervously.

"What is it Himiko," I ask her.

"Could you stay with me until I fall asleep? I'm scared to go to sleep alone tonight."

I gently smile at Himiko's request. "It's the least I can do Himiko."

I follow Himiko to her room. Himiko crawls into her bed and pulls the covers over herself. I quickly take a look around Himiko's room. The walls of Himiko's room are light pink and are outlined in white. The carpeting in the room is also white. Himiko's bed is in the back-middle portion of her room. The bed frame is made out of wood and is painted white. Her pillows are white as well, but her bed sheets are light pink. In front of Himiko's bed is a small dresser with a large mirror mounted on the wall above it. On top of the dresser are an assorted collection of different magical props and items that Himiko uses. To the left of her bed is a drawer that houses more of Himiko's magical props, and to the right of her bed is a window with a similar view as my own. Below the window, a small nightlight is plugged into the wall giving the room a gentle, yellow hue. Himiko by now has changed into her pajamas, which are light blue with white rabbits imprinted on them. She is also holding a stuffed rabbit close to her body right now.

I sit on the side of Himiko's bed.

"Is there something that I can do to make you feel better," I ask Himiko.

"Would you mind telling me a story?"

"A story huh," I smile at Himiko, "let me see..."

I place the fingers of my right hand on my chin and think of a story to tell Himiko that she would enjoy.

"Aha. Did I ever tell you the story of the magical girl who saved a kingdom from an evil dragon?"

Himiko looks at me with wonderment and says, "Nyeeh! That story sounds wonderful. Please tell it to me Shuichi."

I laugh at Himiko's adorable reaction and say, "Okay, okay. Well once upon a time..."

I proceed to tell Himiko a story that I heard once when I was younger. It's more or less a classic fairy tale, but Himiko doesn't seem to mind at all. As I tell the story, I watch as Himiko captivatingly follows along to what I am saying and gets absorbed more and more into the story. It really brings relief to my heart to see her so happy. And by the time I finish the story, Himiko is fast asleep still clutching her favorite stuffed bunny. I gently pat Himiko's head as she sleeps. It pains me deeply that I have to put her through so much, but maybe once I go through with my plan tomorrow, Himiko and Maki may finally know peace. I slowly get up from Himiko's bed so I don't disturb her and quietly exit her room. I make my way over to my room. But before I go in, I turn to face Maki's door once more. I close my eyes and think to myself, "If tonight is possibly going to be my last night here with the two of them, I might as well make the most of it." I go over to Maki's bedroom door and open it slowly. Maki is still sleeping just like I left her a short while ago. I quietly enter her room and close the door behind me. I crouch by Maki's bedside as she sleeps. The sound of her soft breathing is the only thing to be heard in the room. I gently pat Maki's head a few times.

"You really are a good girl Maki," I think to myself, "you don't deserve all that is happening to you."

I place my left arm on Maki's bedside and place my head on top of my left arm. I place my right hand on top of Maki's and slowly caress her soft and delicate hand. Sleep starts to overtake me as my eyelids become heavier and heavier.

Before I fall asleep, I mutter to the air around me, "This is what matters to me the most. This moment right here. Even in the face of overwhelming despair, just knowing that you are safe brings my suffering heart peace."

I close my eyes, still holding Maki's hand, and finally say, "Goodnight my love."

 

The soft light of the sun's rays shines through Maki's window and onto my face. I slowly open my eyes and look around me. Maki is still sound asleep. I look over at my right hand and notice that my fingers are intertwined with Maki's. Reminded of the fact that this may be the last time I'll ever spend time with Maki like this, I tighten my grip on her hand slightly. After a few moments, I get up from my crouched position. My back and knees are sore from sleeping so awkwardly. But if it meant that I could spend the night by Maki's side, then it was well worth it. I stretch myself out and leave Maki's room, making sure not to disturb her sleep. Himiko opens her bedroom door and steps into the living room. After rubbing her eyes, she looks up and sees me.

"Shuichi!"

Himiko excitedly yells my name and runs over to me. She tightly wraps her arms around my body and nuzzles her face into my chest. I smile and pat Himiko's head.

"Good morning Himiko, sleep well?"

Himiko continues to rub her face against my chest muffling her response, "Yes Shuichi. Thank you for reading me a bedtime story last night."

"Of course," I say to Himiko. "Shall I make you breakfast?"

"Yes please Shuichi," Himiko replies happily.

I proceed to make breakfast for the two of us. I'll leave an extra portion for Maki just in case she wakes up, but after what happened to her the past two days, she may need all the sleep she can get today.

My face becomes sterner as I think this. "Good," I tell myself, "If Maki's asleep when I leave then it will make this whole thing a lot easier."

I prepare breakfast and eat with Himiko at the dining room table. We don't talk as much as we normally do. As much as we want to make today just like any other day, the reality is that that is not the case. With each tick of the clock, my life as the Ultimate Detective draws closer to an end. Throughout the day, I stay by Maki's bedside and make sure that she is okay. Maki wakes several times throughout the day. Each time I bring her a meal that she eats in bed and cater to whatever else she needs. We don't really say much to each other, which is slightly relieving to me. The less we have to talk about, the lower the chance is of her finding out about my plan. Maki still thinks that she has to go to meet those men tonight, but my hope is that she remains asleep until then. That will allow me to leave the apartment without her finding out. I look to the side slightly annoyed. I hate having to be so deceitful like this, especially to the girl that I love. But I've made up my mind and nothing is going to change that.

Time ticks on and on, until finally, it's nighttime.

As I hoped, Maki is still asleep. I look at the clock in the kitchen.

9:00.

"It's almost time," I say to the air around me.

Himiko sits across from me and looks at me with a sad and lonely expression.

"I know it hurts Himiko, but if this means that I can protect the both of you from harm, then I have to do it."

Himiko simply nods and doesn't say a word. I exhale deeply and stand up from the kitchen table. As I do so, Himiko knows that my time here is up and begins to cry. I walk over to her and hold her in my arms.

"I-I'm g-g-going to m-miss you S-Shuichi," Himiko says trying to fight back her tears.

Tears start to roll down my face as well.

"I'll miss you too Himiko. I'll think about you and Maki every second of every day, hoping and wishing the best for the both of you."

Himiko tightens her grip on me, trying her hardest to prevent me from leaving.

"It's going to be okay," I whisper to Himiko.

I gently push Himiko off of me and wipe my eyes with my sleeves.

"There's one more thing that I have to do," I tell myself.

I turn to face Maki's room and slowly open her door. As expected, she still is fast asleep in her bed. I heavily make my way to her bedside and crouch down next to her like I did the night before. I lose my composure and start to cry once more. "There's so much I want to say," I say to the sleeping Maki, "but time is short and I can't stay long." I shut my eyelids and take a few deep breaths to try to maintain my composure.

I gently rub her head and say, "My Maki...My sweet Maki. Oh, how I love you so much. Ever since I first laid eyes on you in Danganronpa, my heart immediately called out to you. And from that day forth, I fell more and more in love with you."

My mind goes over all the events that happened in Danganronpa once more.

"When you and I had that special night in the love hotel, I hoped with all of my heart that we could stay like that forever...But as it turns out, I'm the only one that remembers that perfect night."

I pause to wipe my eyes and say, "I'm sorry for all of the pain I caused you in Danganronpa and here. I couldn't contain my love for you, and jealousy soon took over me. Every time I saw you look at... HIM, my heart broke more and more. I didn't want to cause you pain, so I left your side. And now here I am leaving your side once more and possibly hurting you once again. I can only hope that through what I am about to do, you and Himiko may find peace and happiness in your lives. You can become the Ultimate Child Caregiver that you always wanted to be with no fear of being hunted by the assassin clan anymore."

I stand up from Maki's bedside.

"Even though I know that you don't love me back, I still love you with all of my heart."

I lean over Maki's body and kiss her head.

"Maki...I made a promise to you before we left Danganronpa that I would put an end to your hellish nightmare. Tonight, I'm going to do just that. I'm going to fulfill my promise to you, my love."

And with that, I walk out of Maki's bedroom and close her door behind me. Himiko stands in front of me and embraces me once more.

I hug her one final time and say to her, "Take care of Maki for me. And please...If she wakes up tonight, try your best to not let her go to the park or let her find out what I am doing."

Himiko simply nods. I smile at her, truly thankful for all that she is doing for me.

"Thank you from the bottom of my heart Himiko." I lightly kiss her head and walk out of the apartment and into the night.

 

Tonight is a clear and beautiful night, unfitting for the tragedy that is about to befall me. The moon and numerous beautiful stars can be seen in the night sky above. The park that those two men must have been talking about is not too far away from the apartment. In fact, I can see it from where I currently stand. My heart races faster and faster with each step I take. I break out into a cold sweat and start to feel nauseous.

"Come on Shuichi," I tell myself to try to calm down, "If you can't handle this then how will you handle whatever else they are going to throw at you?"

My mind wanders to last night when Maki was viciously beaten by one of those men in the alleyway. If that is how they treat her when they hold back, I can only imagine what they do to her when they discipline her. My body feels ice cold as if a phantom has just walked through me. My hands and feet start to go numb. And before I know it, I'm standing in the middle of the vacant park. The only sound to be heard is me breathing. I constantly keep looking around to search for any sign of life. And after what seems like an eternity, two men emerge from the shadows.

"Shuichi Saihara," says one of the men, "The Ultimate Detective..."

I look at both men and freeze in place. They both wear the same attire they wore when Maki and I encountered them in the alleyway. Almost their whole bodies are covered in long, black clothing. The only thing that can be seen on their bodies is their menacing eyes.

"We certainly weren't expecting to see you this night...Did Maki send you?"

Both men walk in circles around me, like wild beasts circling their prey.

"N-no," I say trying to control the shakiness of my voice, "I came here of my own accord."

"Is that so," says one of the men, unclear to me which one it was, "You're either a brave or very foolish man. What business do you have with us? Are you perhaps here to try to stop us from taking your precious Maki away?"

They can read me like a book, but I have to stand my ground.

"I'm here to request a trade," I say to both men.

"A trade you say...Not Interested," says one of the men.

"I think you should listen to what I have to say," I respond sternly.

After a moment of silence, one of the men says, "Speak."

 

I gulp before voicing my terms, "In exchange for Maki's freedom...I offer myself to the assassin clan."

 

Both men stop and seem slightly taken aback by what I just said. After a moment, one of the men laughs and kicks me in the jaw causing me to fall on my side.

"So you wish to become an assassin...How intriguing. But enlighten me...What need do we have for a pathetic weakling such as yourself?"

He's right, I'm not the strongest or fastest person out there. But there is something that I have that no one else does. I pick my heavy body off the ground and stand up once again.

"I am the Ultimate Detective. You need someone like me. I can perform assassinations that the police will never find out about. I know every angle and every move that the police will make to try to hunt me and the rest of you down."

I need to push a little more to convince them to go through with this deal.

I put on a sly act, that really kills me on the inside to perform, and say, "And let's face it, I'm guessing after your brutal demonstration on Maki yesterday in the alleyway she's just not cutting it anymore. She's gotten too soft, her humane feelings have gotten in the way of her assassin work. She can no longer satisfy the clan's needs."

I'm sorry Maki.

Both men stop and stare at me for a while. The silence is almost too much to bear. One of the men walks to the other and confers with him. After a short while, the men stop talking. One of them walks up to me and punches me in the face. Before I can fall to the ground, he grabs my shirt and stares into my eyes.

"You really are a pathetic and desperate human being," the man wryly remarks at me.

I smile almost insanely and clutch at the love key that still hangs around my neck, "You're right. Which is why I am a perfect fit for the job."

The man stares at me a little longer and then shoves me to the ground.

"So be it," says the man, "In exchange for your services we will grant amnesty to Maki Harukawa."

"A-and," I gasp, "leave Himiko Yumeno out of this as well."

The man quickly turns around and swiftly kicks me in the chest, possibly breaking one of my ribs.

"And Himiko Yumeno."

He presses one of his heels against my head, sending a crushing feeling through my skull.

"But know this. The moment you slip on the job, I will consider taking those amnesties away, got it?!"

"Y-yes," I say pushing through the pain.

The man lifts his heel off of me and briefly exchanges words with the other man.

"Let's go then. We need to...prep...our new recruit."

Both men hoist me up by my arms and prepare to carry me away.

 

Everything has gone according to plan...Until now that is.

 

"Shuichi!" The sound of someone yelling my name echoes in front of me. I lift my heavy head and my heart sinks.

"M-Maki, what are you doing here?"

 

Maki must have woken up and found out what I was doing from Himiko.

"Heh look, it's the former, failed assassin," one of the men taunts.

Maki stares at both men with a mixture of hatred and confusion.

"What do you mean former," Maki asks sharply.

"You don't seem to understand," says the other man, "we have no need of you anymore. This poor fool just gave his life away in exchange for your freedom."

Maki turns to me with a look of disbelief and shock.

"S-Shuichi, what is he talking about."

 

I feel my sanity start to slip from me because of this whole ordeal.

 

I look up at Maki and smile. "I'm going to fulfill my promise to you, my love."

 

Maki's eyes widen and her mouth hangs open as my words reach her. Both men hoist me once again on their shoulders and vanish with me into the darkness of the night.

 

Maki desperately runs after us, her right arm outstretched.  But she's not fast enough to catch up.  She collapses to her knees and lets out a piercing and shrill scream.

 

"SHUICHIIIIIIIIIIIII---"

 

Maki's scream is the last thing I hear, and to this day it still rings in my head.

 

But why focus on the past?  These days, I am no longer the Ultimate Detective.  From now on, call me Shuichi Saihara The Ultimate Assassin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. I had a lot of different theories of how I wanted this chapter to go and it took me a while to pick a scenario that I was most happy with.
> 
> I hope that it was worth the wait, and I hope that you enjoyed reading!


	4. Ultimate Despair, Ultimate Transformation, Shuichi Saihara: Ultimate Assassin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains graphic scenes of torture and violence. 
> 
> Reader's discretion is advised.

I don't remember much of what happened right after those two men carried me away in the park. All I can remember is vanishing from Maki's sight as she tried to prevent those men from taking me away, being carried for what seemed like an eternity through the darkness of the night, and finally being locked into a small, cold room made out of concrete in some dark building. The room was pitch black and the only sounds I could hear were my breathing and my heartbeat. Every attempt I made to stand up was met with an agonizing pain in my chest and legs. All I could do was sit there and wait...wait until someone unlocked the door to retrieve me for who knows what. As my mind wandered, Maki's shrill scream echoed in my head. It completely broke my heart and devastated me. I covered my ears to try to block out her scream. But it didn't help. I slumped onto the cold, hard floor and began to bawl. My tears rolled down the side of my face and formed a pool beneath my right cheek. The sound of my wails echoed on the walls and filled the room. It was during that moment that I realized that this was the life I was to now live. There was no escape, no turning back, no hope. The happy life that I tried to have with Maki and Himiko was now gone forever.

"Maki..." I cried into the darkness around me.

Despair set into my heart and I eventually passed out on the cold floor. When I awoke was when it began.

  
My transformation into the Ultimate Assassin.

  
"Wake up."

I gasp in reaction to someone punching me in the stomach and am jolted awake. I look around me frantically trying to see what's going on. I try to move my arms but realize that I can't. I look up in the air and realize my hands are bound together at my wrists by shackles and are connected to a chain that hangs from the ceiling. My body is suspended in the air in a dark room. The only light source in the room hangs above me and illuminates my body and a small area around me. I look down at my body once again and realize that all of my clothes have been removed. The coldness of the room sends chills throughout my displayed body. I continue to struggle as I try to make sense of the situation that I am currently in.

"Don't resist."

The sound of a person's deep, commanding voice can be heard throughout the room and petrifies me. A man wearing long, black garbs steps from the shadows of the corner of the room. He walks up to me with heavy footsteps that echo off of the walls and steps into the light around my body. Much like the men from before, the only part of this man's body that is exposed is his face. Scars trace several areas of his face, and his menacing, red eyes pierce my soul as he stares at me. The man walks closer to me, continuing to inspect me as I hang naked in the middle of the room. The smell of blood emanates from his body, almost causing me to gag. The man circles my body slowly, causing me to break out into a cold sweat which chills my already cold body even more. The man finishes his inspection and stands in front of me.

"Shuichi Saihara," the man says plainly.

He briefly stares at me a moment longer and begins to chuckle.

"Breaking you is going to be so easy."

His words send fear throughout my body. My heart starts to race and I grit my teeth to try to stave off the anxiety building up inside of me.

"Wh-what are you going t-to...do to me," I sputter to the man trying to control myself.

The man smiles a devilish smile and says, "I'm going to completely break you Shuichi, mind, body, and soul."

The man clenches his fists and punches me repeatedly in the chest and stomach. With each blow, the pain worsens and my piercing screams become louder and louder. Blood droplets eventually start to trickle down my mouth and onto the floor below me.

The man temporarily ceases his assault and says, "Don't scream like that Shuichi, it's not fitting of an assassin to be."

The man takes a cloth out from one of his pockets and stuffs it deep into my mouth causing me to almost choke.

The man places his left hand on my chest to steady my body and says, "Now I'll be able to hear those bones of yours break much more easily."

The man clenches his right fist and firmly presses it down on one of my ribs. The more pressure he adds the more the blinding pain in my abdomen grows until finally one of my left ribs cracks. The sound of my screams can barely be heard because of the cloth stuffed into my mouth, allowing the sound of my brittle bones breaking to be heard throughout the room. Next, the man grabs my right ankle with his left hand. He twists my foot and fractures the bones in my right ankle. Then the man lifts my fractured ankle in the air with his left hand so my right leg is extended straight out. He lifts his right arm in the air and sends his elbow crashing down into my knee, causing my leg to cave in. My screams cause the inside of my throat to bleed and tears roll down both sides of my face without pause. The cloth that the man stuffed into my mouth gives way and falls out of my mouth and onto the floor. The cloth is soaked with my saliva and blood. Filled with nausea and pain I start to vomit onto the floor below me. My expression is mixed with anguish and grief. I want nothing more than for the torture to end.

"Make it stop," I tell myself, "Just make it stop."

As if reading my mind, the man hastily approaches me and grabs me by the neck.

Staring directly into my eyes the man says, "We're just getting started."

The man clenches his fist and punches me repeatedly across the face. With each strike, droplets of blood fly out of my mouth and nose and drench the man's fist and the ground around me. I've reached a point where the pain is so great and my body feels so dead that screaming is too much of an effort. I just remain limp, watching with my blurring vision as more blood flies off of my body with each blow the man gives me. My vision starts to go dark as my body brings me to the brink of passing out.

Noticing this, the man brings his face closer to mine and says, "Don't think that you can escape your torment by passing out."

The man dislodges the chain from the shackles that bind my wrists together. My body falls down onto the blood and vomit soaked floor. The man picks up my body and drags me to the side of the room. In the darkness, I can faintly make out what appears to be a wooden water trough. The man plunges my face into the water trough and forcefully holds my head in the water. The water is ice cold and shocks me back to my senses. With what little strength I have left, I struggle to push my head back above the surface. With each fleeting second, my vision becomes surrounded with the color of crimson from the blood seeping from my mouth. After a moment all of the air in my lungs has been exhausted and I start to feel the sensation of drowning. Not allowing death to overtake me, the man pulls my head out of the water and punches me in the chest to force the water out of my throat and lungs. I gag up the crimson water that fills my mouth onto the floor, staining my feet. I am thrown back under the ray of light where I once hung from the chain. My body rolls several times on the ground, coating my skin with blood and excrement.

Instead of hanging me back on the chain, the man stands over me and says, "This is only the beginning Shuichi."

He steps on my head and chest as he makes his way out of the room. He slams the iron door closed and leaves me to rot on the floor. I lie lifeless on the floor, my hands still shackled together. Pain beyond comparison and description surges through me. My body is covered in blood, lacerations, and bruises. The parts of my body where the bones are either broken or fractured have started to turn black and swell. The only attempt at some kind of relief shines in my eyes as the rays from the light above me shine off of its exterior. In the corner of my eye, I see the love key still secured around my neck. The key lies on the blood-soaked floor, staining parts of it. I move my bounded hands closer to the love key, bearing the resurgence of pain in my hands and arms.

"If only...If only I could just hold onto it," I tell myself as I try to feel the love key in my hands.

I manage to hold the love key in my right hand and grip it with all of my might. I hold it close to my heart, trying to recollect the precious memories of my now past life. Recalling the moments that I had with Maki and Himiko bring a subtle feeling of peace to me. Tears descend my bloodstained face, but because of the pain I already feel, no cries escape my mouth.

"My Maki," I say to the air around me, "My Maki...How I love you so."

I would give anything in the world right now to just see Maki again, if only for a second.

"Do they miss me," I say to myself out loud. "Are they worried about me?"

 

"...Have they forgotten about me?"

 

As this last thought enters my mind I finally pass out uninterrupted on the floor, still clutching the love key in my hands.

  
But not even the memories and feelings I had for Maki were safe from the assassin clan's influence.

The next torture session was when my will finally breaks.

  
"Wake up, Shuichi."

I open my heavy and exhausted eyelids to see that I'm hanging from the ceiling once again. I also see that the same man from the last torture session stands before me.

"Oh my," says the man, "You look terrible. Did someone beat you up?"

The man chuckles and sneers at me.

"Here," he continues, "let's clean you up a bit."

The man reaches for a wooden bucket filled with hot, steaming water and hurls the water at me. The water washes over my whole body and burns me to the touch. I bite my lip so hard in reaction to the hot water burning my skin that my front teeth pierce through the skin of my lip. The blood and excrement that dried onto my body wash off with the hot water. But the hot water leaves burn marks, blisters, and peeled skin in its wake.

As soon as I dig my teeth out of my lip I gasp to the man, "You're here to beat and torture me again?"

The man throws the wooden bucket on the floor near the corner of the room and says to me, "You're only half correct. I'm going to torture you...But not physically...At least not this session."

I look up at him and stare him in the eyes.

The man stares back and approaches me. "Anyone can do this to you."

The man takes his right hand and quickly punches my rib cage, breaking another bone. When he pulls his fist away from my chest more skin peels off of my body and causes me to bleed more. My body has been in such unceasing pain since the last torture session that I start to get used to the physical abuse that is inflicted on me. The man notices my suppressed reaction and nods in satisfaction.

"It looks like my handiwork is paying off."

The man takes a few steps back from me and continues what he was saying.

"Anyone can break someone's bones Shuichi...But Breaking someone's mind...Now that takes true talent."

I simply stare back at the man, awaiting whatever he is going to do to me with baited breath.

The man turns to me and says, "And I know just how to break your mind Shuichi."

My heart begins to race as the man approaches me again. He reaches out with his right hand and places it over the love key.

"This is important to you isn't it Shuichi?"

I try to remain nonchalant and not give away any indication that he is touching upon the most sensitive part of my life.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I reply trying to get him to back off.

The man simply smiles a menacing smile at me and says, "Oh I'll get you to open up Shuichi, whether you like it or not."

The man takes out a small knife and presses the tip against my right collarbone. The knife tip pierces my skin, causing blood to start trickling down my body. The man drags the knife through my flesh from my collarbone down to my navel.

As he does so, he looks into my eyes and says, "I have an uncountable amount of ways to hurt you Shuichi. We can either do this the easy way or the hard way...Your choice."

He pulls the knife out of my body forcefully. A blood trail crossing my body from my right collarbone to my left hip is etched onto my already burnt and bruised skin. I try to remain resilient but the man's words quickly cut through me and break me down.

"I know about everything that happened in Danganronpa, and that includes how you truly felt about Maki Harukawa and Kaito Momota."

I look up at the man with menacing eyes as he mentions those two names.

He slyly grins in response and says, "Intrigued?"

I continue to stare back at him and say, "If you know everything already then why have me repeat it for you?"

The man walks over to me and says into my ear, "Because I want to hear you tell the truth...The truth about how you felt about Kaito Momota taking your precious Maki away. Those feelings you tried to teach yourself to bury...Those feelings of hatred, jealousy, and envy...After all of this time, finally, let them out."

The man's taunts at my innermost feelings do their best to bring out the hellish feelings I have tried to suppress for so long. I try my best to contain all of them but to no avail.

The man faces me directly and says, "Or we could keep you locked up in hear and torture you until the day you die."

I smile an insane smile and say, "Fine by me."

The man takes my left leg and breaks it with his two hands. As I try my best to suppress my screams, the man lowers my body to the ground so that I am forced to stand on my broken leg and fractured ankle. The pain is too much to bear and I let out more screams and cries.

The man rushes up to me and says next to my right ear, "Think about it Shuichi. By now Maki has probably forgotten about you and has moved on in her life. She has probably found another man who isn't such a pathetic and worthless human being such as yourself. Someone probably just like Kaito Momota."

I fight through my agonizing pain and stare back at the man and say, "Y-y-you b-bastard..."

The man smiles menacingly and says, "So prove to me that you are not as pathetic and worthless as Maki and I think you are. Talk, Shuichi Saihara, about Danganronpa, Maki Harukawa, and Kaito Momota."

The man's words take root in my heart and play on my innermost insecurities and evil emotions. Like a venom, it spreads throughout my heart and soul.

I look up at the man and say, "Fine."

The man lifts the chain and brings my body off the ground so my injured legs and feet aren't forced to support me anymore.

  
I drop my head, still gasping for air, and say, "This love key...It's all I have left."

The man smiles, satisfied with my answer. "You love Maki...don't you," the man asks me plainly.

"...Yes," I reply dejectedly as this man pries into the deepest parts of my heart.

The man chuckles more and asks, "Does she feel the same way about you?"

My heart breaks under the weight of my reply. "No...She doesn't."

"Why might that be Shuichi," the man asks me, his tone indicating he already knows the answer.

I slightly shake my head from side to side, letting the emotions that I have tried so hard to bury rise to the surface. "She loves someone else..."

"Who," he asks staring at me.

 

"...Kaito Momota."

  
The words I say are venomous. Emotions of jealousy, hate, anger, envy, and many more start to take over me. I was exactly where the man wanted me to be.

"Tell me about him Shuichi...Tell me about Kaito Momota and how you feel about him."

Just the sound of his name is enough to bother me. I clench my shackled hands and grit my teeth as I recall my memories in Danganronpa once again:

 

"Kaito...He was a stubborn and headstrong guy who rushed into any danger even if he had no idea what he was doing. He tried to help us all when we were in Danganronpa, especially me and Maki."

"Maki Harukawa," says the man, "What was she like?"

"She was reserved and only spoke when she had to," I continue, "She stayed in the background, out of notice from the other students...But I noticed her. Her eyes drew me into her very heart and soul. Her beauty and cuteness captivated me instantly. Before I knew it, I had fallen in love with her."

I sigh a despair-filled sigh and continue speaking.

"Then when we found out Maki was an "assassin," Kaito thought he would incorporate her in our friend group. Time passed, and we spent more and more time together just the three of us. I thought those happy days would stay like that forever...But then something started to change."

The man takes a few steps towards me and says, "What changed Shuichi?"

"...Maki's eyes...They started to look at HIM more than me."

I grit my teeth harder. Blood starts to drip out of the corners of my mouth as my teeth dig into each other and start to crack.

"As soon as I noticed that Maki took an interest in Kaito, it was as if someone had stepped onto my heart and broke it into a million pieces. I...I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted nothing more than for them to be split up."

The man chuckles evilly and says, "Isn't that what happened in the end Shuichi?"

A small, devilish smile creeps its way onto my face as I continue to speak.

"When we found out Kaito was sick...A little voice in my head said that this had to be fate. Day after day I got to watch him get weaker and weaker, and the darkness in my heart grew more and more. But Kaito was stubborn even while he was knowingly dying. Ke kept fighting for his life, and he and Maki only grew closer to each other, and the pain inside of my heart kept growing. I still remember vividly to this day when Kaito became violently ill in front of us all. The blood soaking his mouth and hands...The look of agony on his face...But even more telling...The look that Maki gave to Kaito. A look of worry and care...A look of concern. I wasn't worried about Kaito...I wasn't scared that he was going to die...I was despair-ridden that Maki gave HIM that look and never gave it to me once."

I start to become more absorbed in my own sea of jealousy, hatred, and grief.

"Why...Why couldn't she show me that look of concern when I was hurting or in pain. Why did she look at him with those concerned and scared eyes? Why couldn't she look at me?"

Insanity starts to take over me, and I start to lose myself. I start to laugh maniacally as I recall more about what happened in Danganronpa.

"Then the fourth class trial came about and we had to deduce who the latest victim was."

"You had to decide between Kokichi Oma and Kaito Momota," declares the man.

My devilish grin widens as I say, "When I saw that Kaito's stool at the class trial was empty...A small part of me hoped that he was the one who died. But then that exisal opened and revealed that that bastard was still alive and that Kokichi had died."

The man sensing the devil inside of me surfacing smiles his devilish smile and provokes me further.

"If I'm not mistaken Maki Harukawa was rather emotional during that class trial."

Reminding me of how Maki reacted during the class trial only causes me to be more bitter and spiteful. My expression changes from one of a madman to one of utter despair.

"None of us had ever seen Maki so emotional before. The way she wanted to take revenge on Kokichi for possibly killing Kaito, the look of awe she had when she realized that Kaito was still alive, and finally...The way she cried when Kaito was sent to his execution."

Tears start to descend my face as I recall all of these memories that I have tried so hard to bury since escaping Danganronpa.

"How did you feel when Kaito was about to die."

 

At last, the moment that the man has been waiting for has finally arrived. The true evil and spite that has built up in my heart ever since Danganronpa has taken hold of me.

 

"Of course I had to put on a facade when he was about to die. I couldn't let him or the others know how I truly felt. But the honest truth is...I couldn't wait for him to die."

I start to laugh insanely out loud as I continue to speak.

"When I saw his lifeless body fall out of that makeshift rocket, all I could think was "finally." That bastard, the bane of my existence...He was finally dead. I thought that after Danganronpa I could somehow manage my feelings and put all of this behind me. But no...The despair never went away. Every night I would see his face in my dreams and wonder if he and Maki would still be together if he were alive."

The man, seeing that I am at my wit's end, finalizes his mental and psychological breakdown of me by saying, "Kaito, the young man you once called a friend, captivated the girl that you loved and made your life a living nightmare. What do you have to say about his death Shuichi?"

Without even thinking about how to respond, all of the built-up malice inside of me explodes. I look up and stare dead into the man's eyes and scream as loud as I can.

 

"HE FUCKING DESERVED IT!!"

 

The man simply turns away satisfied at what he has accomplished and leaves the room, locking the door behind him. And I am left dangling from the ceiling, my abdomen still bleeding from the knife wound and my legs and feet still throbbing in intense pain, laughing and crying insanely at the same time. The room is filled with my despair-filled woes. And after what seems like an eternity, I finally pass out still hanging from the ceiling.

 

I was never the same after that day. My mind and body were both broken. And what was left of me was a shell of who I used to be.

And it was during this time that I started to have horrifying nightmares whenever I slept:

* * *

"Shuichi, do you remember that promise that you made to me in Danganronpa?"

I look over at Maki and say, "Of course I do. I swore to stop all crime before it happened so that you didn't have to be an assassin anymore. ...I swore I would protect you."

Maki faces me fully and stares into my eyes.

Still, with a smile on her face, she asks, "So then why?"

I look at Maki slightly puzzled and ask, "Why what?"

Maki's expression becomes more serious and she asks, "So then why couldn't you save me Shuichi?"

"W-what," I stutter, surprised at Maki's question.

All of a sudden, bruises, cuts, and scrapes start to cover Maki's body.

Her clothes become more tattered as she walks towards me and asks, "Why couldn't you stop those men from hurting me? Why couldn't you stop me from killing that man? Why weren't you there for me like Kaito was?"

I start to panic and fall on my back as I recoil at the horrifying sight taking place before me. Before I can say anything, Maki stands over me with a knife in her hands and hoists it up in the air as if to kill me with it.

"W-w-wait Maki, please," I yell out to her.

Maki simply gives me a death stare and says, "You couldn't save me or anyone Shuichi. You should just die."

I let out a blood-chilling scream as Maki plunges the knife into my chest.

 

Before the vision finishes, the world around me warps and I find myself back in the torture room as I was before. I look around the room still gasping for breath as the fear of Maki killing me still registers in my mind and body.

"Am I...Still dreaming," I think to myself.

"Poor Shuichi, look at how pathetic you are now."

The sound of an all-too-familiar voice sends fear coursing through my body. I start to shake as chills are sent through my bones. I look forward and see someone that I had never hoped to see ever again in my life.

"Puhuhuhuhuhu. The great Shuichi Saihara, formerly knows as the Ultimate Detective, has finally crossed over to the dark side of despair has he?"

"I-it can't be. Monokuma...Keebo killed you when the school collapsed. How are you still alive?"

Monokuma, the infamous mascot of despair, stands before me in my torture chamber. His appearance makes me nauseous and fearful.

"Oh Shuichi," giggles Monokuma, "I can never truly die. As long as there is despair in the world I will always be there right alongside it, cultivating it and spreading it to the ends of the Earth. And from the looks of it, it seems that you and despair are well acquainted."

Monokuma approaches me and stares into my eyes.

"Puhuhu...I see it Shuichi. Your heart and soul...They are diseased and rotting. What once was a strong beacon of hope has turned into an abyss of despair, blacker than Kurokuma was."

Monokuma puts his paw on the love key around my neck and says, "I see you took full advantage of my gift Shuichi. And I must say, things turned out better than I could have ever imagined. Not only did you let jealousy and hatred consume your heart, you threw away your whole life for a girl who will never love you back. You have to live with the constant realization that Maki Harukawa, the failed Ultimate Assassin, is in love with the failed, and very dead, luminary of the stars Kaito Momota, whom you once considered your friend."

Monokuma giggles some more and says, "And just think Shuichi, both Maki and Himiko have probably forgotten about you by now."

I simply look down and hang my head in misery and defeat. ...It's very true...Maybe Maki and Himiko have already adjusted to life without me and are just fine. Maybe they never needed, or wanted, me to begin with. Maybe I was expendable.

Monokuma looks at me with surprise and says, "Oh come now Shuichi, this should certainly come to no surprise to you. You're obviously worthless, especially to Maki. She didn't even give you the time of day in Danganronpa. What makes you think that things would have been different if and when you escaped?"

He's right...Monokuma is right. I've been trying to live a fantasy that will never come true. And the love key hanging around my neck is a constant reminder to me of a dream that I have that will never come to pass. I can't contain my grief and pain any longer and start to cry tears of utter despair.

Monokuma takes notice and says, "You were always my favorite Shuichi. You had so much hope after Kaede rubbed off on you. But now, after allowing yourself to be fooled by your own emotions you have turned into an agent of despair who will soon bring death to the world. I couldn't be happier."

Monokuma's words sap my humanity from me. My limbs feel heavy, my heart feels like broken glass, and just taking a small breath sends pain throughout my body.

I only have enough energy to look up at Monokuma once more and say with a cracking voice, "You're a monster."

"No, Shuichi," says Monokuma laughing, "I'm just a bear. If anyone is the monster here, it's you Shuichi."

All of a sudden, Monokuma grabs a knife out from behind his back and says, "If you're not careful Shuichi, who knows what will happen."

Monokuma walks towards me and releases my right hand from its shackle and grips my hand around the knife handle. I look down at the knife handle, watching as the blade shines as the light above me reflects off the blade and into my eyes. When I look back in front of me, I see Maki standing inches before me. Her expression is lifeless and plain.

Monokuma giggles and wraps his paws around my right hand.

"You may even end up killing the one person you love."

Monokuma pushes my right hand towards Maki's body, and I watch as the knife pierces her chest and tears through her clothes and flesh. Blood trickles out of her mouth as she continues to stare into my eyes. Not long after, Maki's body falls lifelessly to the ground.

"N-No No, Maki," I scream at her.

Maki doesn't move...She's dead. I let out another scream, much more shrill and hellish than the last one. But Monokuma's laughter drowns out my screams and fill my ears until it's all that I hear.

* * *

I wake up screaming, my body drenched in cold sweat.

The man from before emerges from the darkness of the corners of the room and says to me, "So you're awake now Shuichi? Good. It looked like you were having one hell of a nightmare."

The man laughs at me. I shake my head to try to rid my mind of the vivid nightmares that I just had. My eyes feel watery and my cheeks feel cold. I can only suspect that I was crying in my sleep once again.

The man faces me and says, "Don't worry Shuichi, your nightmare has only just begun."

With Maki's and Monokuma's words still ringing in my mind, I realize that I have been utterly defeated and broken. I have nothing to hold on to, nothing to hope for, and nothing to dream of anymore.

I simply look at the man with a dead expression and say lifelessly to him, "Do whatever you want with me."

The man chuckles and says, "My pleasure."

 

From that day forth, I had to withstand unending torture sessions for what seemed like forever. After a certain point, I stopped keeping track of how many of my bones were broken, or how many layers of my flesh have been cut through or torn off. When more time passed, and I endured enough of the unending torment of my physical and mental agony, I stopped caring for myself or the world around me. My heart and mind became like blank canvases that anyone could influence. The assassin clan took this opportunity to reshape me into their own image.

The image of a masterful assassin.

Having been filled with intense bitterness and grief, I was easy to mold.

"You're suffering Shuichi. You're suffering and no one in the whole world cares to help you. Kaito Momota, who was once your good friend, took from you what little happiness you had and caused you, and still causes you, unceasing adversity. Maki Harukawa, the girl at the center of it all, didn't think once about how you felt and never cared about you."

I'm sure that if I was still the same person I was before all of this started, I would immediately see through their propagated falsehoods and lies and wouldn't be swayed by the assassin clan's antics, even a little bit.

...But I'm not the same person anymore. Despair and hatred consume me. And so I play right into their trap.

The man walks up to me and says, "The world is filled with people like this. So what will you do, Shuichi Saihara?"

  
I look up at the man and say with determination, "I'll kill them all."

  
From that day forward, the clan started working on turning me into a machine designed for one thing and one thing only: "Kill the target or kill yourself."

They had me do exercises such as performing 100 push-ups with broken wrists and fractured fingers. And if I couldn't do all 100 in time, someone would stand on my neck until I passed out on the floor. When I would awaken, I had to start over until I did all 100 push-ups in one go. After having completed a series of exercises similar to that one, my body became very resilient and durable. They then showed me what it took to be an assassin. They trained me with a myriad of weapons ranging from knives, guns, and swords, to more everyday objects such as pens and pencils. With each weapon, they showed me how to kill a person in numerous ways. And with each weapon, I became more proficient in the art of killing. After numerous, extensive, and brutal training days, I soon became one of them. It became a natural instinct for me to identify a target, formulate the best plan of approach to killing the target, and slip away unnoticed with no hope of the police ever finding me. With my Ultimate Detective skills to reinforce my newly acquired assassin's instincts and talents, I become a masterful assassin.

Realizing that my initiation is complete and I am ready to start taking on contracts, several of the assassin clan members stand before me. A brief silence lingers in the air as they inspect me and witness how much I have transformed since being taken here.

"This may be the best one yet," says one of the clan members.

The other two laugh, realizing that they have transformed a person who was once brimming with hope into a person who brings about death and despair. The person in the middle walks up to me. He remains silent and still as he stands before me until suddenly, he tries to punch my body. Before his knuckle comes close to me, my hands react automatically and shove his knuckle away. I then take his hand with both of mine, twist it as far as I can, and then break it with little to no effort. The man makes no pain reaction.

Instead, he takes a few steps back and says, "He's ready."

Another clan member walks up to me and hands me a vanilla folder. I take it in both of my hands and skim through the documents inside of it. It contains the image of a man and his basic credentials, along with his last known location. After reading through all of the papers, I close the vanilla folder and look back up at the clan members.

  
"Welcome to the Holy Salvation Society," says one of the clan members, "Do you know your objective?"

"Kill the target flawlessly," I say mechanically and confidently.

"Good," he replies, "I expect a perfect performance. Mess up, and there will be hell to pay."

"It shall be done as you ask," I say plainly.

I turn around and walk away like a machine. Lifeless and void of any humane emotions or feelings.

 

  
There is only one thing on my mind right now, "Kill the target."

And I will carry it out perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an intense chapter to write, to say the least. Shuichi's true emotions about how he feels about Kaito and the agony he feels are now out in the open. Fueled with grief and spite, he now sets out to fulfill his first contract as an assassin. I hope it was worth the wait!
> 
>  
> 
> And for those of you who are wondering, the image link below is the scene from Danganronpa V3 that Shuichi is referring to in his second torture session when he talks about Kaito becoming violently ill and Maki giving him a look of worry and concern:
> 
> https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/danganronpa/images/1/17/Momota_coughing_blood_post_fourth_trial.PNG/revision/latest?cb=20170129085500


	5. An Assassin's Duty

They call themselves the "Holy Salvation Society." A society that masquerades as an organization of philanthropy and peace while in reality, they sow the seeds of death and chaos by killing people upon request and collecting blood money. In just the short time that I have dealt with this organization, I can already see that their influence extends far in the world. It didn't matter who ordered the hit and who the hit was on. If you had the money, you could want anybody dead. Government officials, CEOs, world leaders, it didn't matter. Every contract was to be fulfilled. No contract is deemed too difficult and no questions are ever asked. You either fulfilled the contract...Or you paid the price. When I was still a detective I took a vow to root out all crime...But those days are now over.

Now, filled with an endless void of despair and spite, I will now spread the very thing that I once took an oath to stop. When the world cries out for blood and death, I will be the one to bring it.

I flip through the folder that was handed to me once more. The folder contains a picture of the target along with the target's personal information and last known location. I sift through the documents in the folder and discard the ones that I find to be irrelevant. All I need is the target's picture and location. Name, occupation, age...Those details are trivial and boring. I only need what will allow me to make the kill.

I leave the building that I have been housed in ever since the night I was taken away in the park. Visions and flashes of that night cycle through my mind and cause me to stop in my tracks. I look back at the building and stare at it in the darkness. As I stare up at the building, the building where I died and was reborn, the flashes continue racing in my mind and become more vivid with each passing second. The silence of the night is suddenly filled with the screams Maki made when I was taken. But instead of being overwhelmed, I simply turn around and continue walking into the darkness. I remain unfazed and collected. The sound of the voice of my torturer enters my mind and reminds me of the false hopes and fantasies that I have been holding on to. The hope that Maki would one day love me back, the hope that Maki and I, along with Himiko, would be able to live a life of love and peace. These "hopes" of mine, along with many others, are nothing but fantasies. Nothing I feel or hope can change the reality as I have come to know it. Maki will never love me back, and both of them will continue to live their lives to the fullest while their memories of me and possibly everyone else in Danganronpa fade into obscurity.

"Well...Their memories of everyone except Kaito I suppose."

I let out a frustrated and agonizing cry to the world around me as this subconscious thought echoes in my mind. I punch the ground with both my fists one-by-one as I am filled with a venomous malice. In the gentle moonlight above, I can see the cracks and blood pools that my fists have left on the ground below me. Pain courses through hands and arms, but I make no pain reaction in the slightest. Instead, as the blood still drips from my fists, I walk to the destination of where my first kill will be.

Through the darkness, I move like a phantom towards the city. The building where the Holy Salvation Society is stationed is segregated from the rest of the city area. It lies in the middle of a small, suburban area outside the rest of the city surrounded by many trees so it doesn't stand out to people who pass by. Despite its somewhat isolated location, it doesn't take me long to reach the city. The dark and quiet atmosphere of the suburbs is now replaced with the cool and flashy nightlife of the city. Music and chatter can be heard from several restaurants nearby. The neon signs that hang on the side of the tall buildings above catch my attention and fill my eyes with magnificent and beautiful colors of blue, red, and green. I take in my surroundings, feeling slightly nostalgic as I do. Memories of my past life flood through my mind and cause me to remember the occasions that I walked through this part of the city and even enjoyed myself at some of the classier restaurants nearby. I would always attend with a colleague from work, and I even wanted to make plans to take Maki to one of these places. As I think these things, I scan the faces of the people sitting at the outside tables of the restaurants. I take in every detail of each patron until finally, I find my target.

I smile a small, evil smile, and say to myself, "Found you."

The target is a man in his 30's, medium build, blonde hair. His case file read that he is a well-known politician who is running for state office. On the surface, his record may seem spotless, but when you dig deeper you discover a dark history of money laundering and other white-collar crimes. He even exposed the scandalous lives of many of his supposed allies to cover his tracks. I can only assume that it was one of his allies that ordered the hit on this man. Whatever the case, the reasons for this person's death, along with its repercussions on the world, mean nothing to me. My job is to kill and kill I will.

I scan my immediate area once more, taking in every minute detail. For a moment it feels as if time itself slows down as I look from place to place to solidify my plan of attack. He sits at one of the restaurant tables outside. Luckily for me, his table is slightly isolated from the others, giving me more opportunities than one to kill him without anyone noticing. I also notice that the main source of light for the outdoor part of the restaurant are candles that sit on top of the tables.

I snicker and say to myself, "This is going to be too easy."

I blend into the shadows as I finalize my plan to myself and approach the target's table. With each step I take, I prepare myself for what is about to ensue. This man has no idea that he is about to die, and I am going to be the person to do it. My breathing and my heart rate slow down. My body starts to become colder and colder. Until finally, I stand before the man's table.

"Excuse me, sir," I say to him plainly.

The man looks up at me slightly taken aback and says, "Yes? Can I help you?"

I smile and let out a silent laugh. I sit at the other end of the man's table and say to him, "No, you can't. But I have a message for you."

The man doesn't respond and stares back at me.

I pick up a napkin that is sitting on the table and drape it over my right hand. Through the napkin, I grab the candle that is sitting on the table and hold it in front of my face. I stare at the flame and watch as it dances in the light breeze of the night. I stop looking at the candle and look back into the man's eyes.

I smile devilishly and say, "Goodbye."

As soon as I say that, the man's expression turns into one of horror. But I move too quickly for him to make a single sound. I blow out the candle that is in my hands to cast a veil of darkness around us. From there I take the napkin I was holding and clutch it in my right hand. I clench my right fist and punch through the man's mouth so that the napkin gets stuffed into his throat. My sight is minimal, but I can make out in the darkness the bits of teeth that break when I shove my fist into the man's mouth and into his throat. Blood splashes from his mouth and gums and drenches the napkin and my fist. The man struggles for breath and tries to make even the slightest sound or gag, but the napkin suppresses his pleas and cries. I then take the other napkin that hangs out of the man's shirt collar and grab both ends of it with each of my hands. I then glide past the man so that I am standing behind him and tightly wrap the napkin around his neck. The man clutches at his throat to try to get me to release my grip, but his efforts are futile. I tighten the makeshift knot around his neck and listen for the bones in the man's neck and throat to crack and break.

The man's arms fall to his side and his body goes limp.

He dies a quick and silent death.

I quickly untie the knot from the one napkin around his neck and pull the other napkin forcefully from his mouth. I take both napkins and stuff them into my pocket. The man's body falls to the ground lifelessly. I quickly look around and see that no one has yet noticed the incident that has taken place. The man's table and his body are hidden in the darkness now that the candle has been blown out. I take this opportunity to fade into the surrounding darkness and slip away unseen. As soon as I put enough distance between me and the scene of the crime, I catch my breath and collect myself. My mind races and my body feels fuzzy. The feeling of that man's life being taken away, the feeling of his blood and broken teeth on my skin, the sound of the bones in his throat breaking, all of it is still fresh in my mind. I continue to breathe in and out as I look back at the crime scene. I notice that a small group of people seem slightly distressed and get the attention of a waiter nearby. The waiter looks over at the table where the crime took place and quickly runs inside, presumably to call the police. As I watch this scene unfold, a voice is heard from behind me.

"So...How does it feel?"

I look behind me and notice that it is one of the assassins that I briefly talked to before setting out on this contract. I simply look at him, still breathing deeply, and then turn back to face the restaurant.

"It feels...Disordered...Random," I say in between breaths.

The assassin simply stands by me and looks in the direction I'm facing.

"I'm confident that you will overcome that feeling in time. The first few kills are never easy, but the more you kill the more you get used to the responsibility and burden of taking someone's life into your own hands and consciously choosing to end their meaningless existences instead of letting them live."

I stand up straight, now regaining full control of my body, and ask the assassin, "Why are you here?"

The assassin turns to me and says, "I came to follow up with you on your performance. You were calm, calculating, and you took the target out in little to no time. But you did make one mistake."

I turn to the assassin and defensively ask, "And what that might be?"

"You left the body in the open for others to find. You should have--"

"Everything went according to plan," I interrupt.

I turn to face the assassin and ask, "What's the time?"

"9:30 PM," the assassin replies.

I look back at the restaurant and see that patrons at the restaurant, and anybody else nearby, are starting to vacate the premises in anticipation of the police.

"A waiter called the police five minutes ago. The police station is roughly two miles from here, giving them a good fifteen minutes to arrive at the scene of the crime. By the time the police arrive and they can get detectives to start looking for evidence, any killer can make a getaway. Not only that but I was meticulous in my approach and left no trace that I was ever there."

I pull both napkins, one of which is still soaked in blood and saliva, out of my pocket and toss them to the assassin.

"Any traces of fingerprints have been left on these two pieces of evidence. The broken teeth and neck may lead the forensics team to consider foul play as a possibility to what caused the man to die of asphyxiation. But without concrete proof that someone was ever there, they may rule the cause of death as an accident."

"What about the bruise that will be left on the man's neck," the assassin asks, "Won't the police see it and determine that he was choked to death?"

"The napkins are made out of linen, a very soft, yet durable, material. Any bruising on the neck as a result of me choking the man would have been minimized. And even if they did determine that this man was murdered, his reputation as a government official will cause the police to possibly conceal the true cause of death in an attempt to quell fear in the public. So all in all, I say this is mission accomplished."

The assassin laughs, impressed by my deductive and analytical skills, and asks, "Is that the detective in you shining through?"

I look back at the assassin, smile, and say, "I told you, you guys need me."

We start to walk back in the direction of the hideout when I look at the assassin once more and ask, "What time is it?"

"9:45 exactly," says the assassin.

As if on cue, police sirens can be heard in the distance. The assassin and I exchange a look of sinister satisfaction as my predictions come to fruition. We both laugh maniacally to the world around us.

"This is only the beginning Shuichi," the assassin says to me.

"If this is just the beginning," I say back to the assassin still laughing, "Then I look forward to the things to come."

  
Two months have passed since my first contract kill. Since then, every day I have been receiving more and more contracts to kill certain people. And time and time again I perfectly carry out the assassinations. As my contracts start targeting people with higher fame and notoriety, I've had to become more creative with the way I kill my targets. Poisoning, explosions, drowning, I have had to use all of my wits and cunning to determine what the best way would be to kill the targets while thwarting any attempts by the police to investigate the causes of death. By this point in time, I've killed so many people that it feels unnatural when the feeling of warm blood doesn't drip down my hands and fingers. I open and close my hands in front of me and try to relive the sensation of someone's blood pouring down my fingers as I listen to the news on a nearby radio.

  
"Police are continuing their investigation into the death of tennis star Aiden Posner. Aiden was last seen entering his house at around 6 PM. Then later that evening, his house exploded killing him instantly. The police currently have no suspects, but the investigation is still ongoing."

"That was your contract right, Shuichi?"

I turn around and notice a clan member approaching me.

I turn the volume down on the radio and reply, "Yeah. The hit was for this up-and-coming tennis player. His file read that he was a real star on the tennis courts. But he started getting a bad name when he became involved with several underground drug deals. I suppose it was only a matter of time before someone wanted him dead. Regardless, the police are clueless and don't have any leads which means my mission was a success."

The assassin slyly grins at me and says, "Your reputation precedes you Shuichi. In a short amount of time you have fulfilled a myriad of contracts and have filled the city with fear; All the while humiliating the police by making your crimes unsolvable...You truly are a dangerous and evil man Shuichi."

"I'm just doing the job that I was trained to do," I say plainly.

"That may be the case...But I sense something dark inside of you. Feelings of deep hatred, spite, and regret course throughout your heart and body and fuel your desire to put an end to human life."

I simply stare at the assassin, becoming more and more annoyed with him as he continues to pry into my despair-ridden heart. Sensing my growing hostility and annoyance, the assassin simply slides his right hand into one of his pockets and takes out several throwing knives.

He looks at me and says, "Why don't we play a game to take the edge off?"

I simply nod at his remark and stand by his side and face the wall where a target is hung up. This was a game that I've seen a few of the assassins play before. It's simply throwing knives at a target and trying to score the most points. The closer your knife is to the center, the more points you score. As we each take turns throwing knives at the target on the wall, the assassin continues his ramblings from before.

"You once brought hope to the world around you, now you spread despair and leave a trail of blood and tears in your wake," says the assassin.

"People are complicated, I'm no exception. If I had known sooner that I was merely an expendable pawn, a footstool, to the people closest to me I would have given up hope a lot sooner," I reply with a bitter tone.

I take a breath and continue speaking. "Far too long I have let people use and abuse me...No longer. Instead of bringing hope to the people that I once held in high regard and called "friends," I will instead bring death and bloodshed to whoever asks for it. ...Especially anyone who utters HIS name."

With a surge of frustration and hatred, I chuck my last throwing knife at the target. The knife forcefully hits the target dead center and pierces through the target and into the concrete wall behind it.

The assassin chuckles and says, "Well it looks like we did our job perfectly if that's how you truly feel. You are truly a hate-filled assassin Shuichi Saihara."

The assassin reaches behind himself and hands me a manila folder.

"Here, your next contract."

I skim through the contents of the folder quickly, only looking for the names and pictures of the targets.

The assassin walks over to the target on the wall and starts to take the knives out of the target. While focusing on taking the knives down, the assassin says to me, "Your next target is an engineer who is to be a part of a huge, underground deal tomorrow night. The contract specifies that all parties involved in the transaction tomorrow night are to be eliminated."

I snicker and reply, "This sounds easy enough."

"You'll be teaming up with another clan member for tomorrow's contract," says the assassin, "We know you're fully capable of doing this alone, but we wouldn't want you getting all the notoriety...And the pleasure, of starting a massacre in the city tomorrow night."

I chuckle and say, "I suppose not."

I close the folder that has the details of my next target and toss it back where the assassin took it from. Before I leave the room to prepare for my next contract, I stop in the middle of the room next to the table where the throwing knives were kept for our game.

"By the way," I say to the assassin.

Before he even has time to react, I grab an extra throwing knife that is sitting on a nearby table and forcefully throw it at the target on the wall. The knife soars through the air and pierces through the assassin's hand. The assassin makes no pain reaction. Instead, he turns and glares at me.

I proceed to walk away and say to the assassin, "Never pry into my personal life again."

As I close the door behind me, I hear the assassin chuckle and say, "Good luck out there Shuichi."

  
Luck...I don't need luck. I'm prepared for this.

  
...At least that's what I thought at the time. There was one thing I wasn't prepared for...

I wasn't prepared to see HER again.

 

The target is a chief engineer at one of the largest data collection companies in the world. A group of wealthy individuals from a competing company want to perform an exchange with the engineer. His data, which contains secret information on the global elite, for several billion dollars in cash. When the board members of the data collection company caught wind of this underground deal, they contacted us and asked us to eliminate everyone on sight.

I look at a nearby clock to confirm the current time.

"It's almost time," I say out loud.

"No worries. Our intel states that there should be around a dozen people at the meeting; All fully armed of course."

It's almost 10:30 PM. Myself, along with another member of the Holy Salvation Society, sit at a table at a restaurant while we wait for the trade to begin. We both wear formal attire to blend in with the crowd that surrounds us.

"Well we don't want to make things too easy now do we," I say to the assassin chuckling.

The assassin snickers and says, "You read the files right? The deal is to take place nearby in one of the alleyways. A convoy should be escorting the engineer, while the other party will meet him in the alley."

"That's not very discrete now is it," I say matter of factly.

"Well I suppose when the prospect of receiving a rather large lump sum of money comes your way, a part of you stops looking over your shoulder for any potential danger," says the assassin.

"Whatever the case may be, I'm not concerned in the least about the politics or the motivations behind this contract. I'm just here to spill their blood on the pavement," I say, waiting in anticipation for the events to come.

I look at the clock again and realize that it is 10:30. Both the assassin and I scan the streets and the people around us to find any clues as to the target's whereabouts. I notice a man in a suit put his fingers to his right ear and say, "He's here." He gets up from his seat and proceeds to walk down the street with a few other people.  
  
The assassin and I exchange a look of determination and get up from our seats.

"Do you remember the plan," asks the assassin.

I simply nod in his direction and keep walking towards the alleyway.

The plan is that he will take a sniper position on a rooftop across from the alleyway where the deal will take place. While he gets into position, I will masquerade as a person who is involved with the transaction. When I give the signal, the assassin and I will start picking apart every member involved with the deal one by one.

The assassin runs across the street and starts to prepare. I hasten my pace to catch up to the approaching convoy and enter the alleyway. The alleyway is filled with headlights as a convoy of black SUVs enters the alleyway. In the sea of bright headlights, a group of people can be seen standing at one end of the alley. Each of them, except the person in the middle who carries a silver briefcase, carries a pistol in their hand. The convoy holding the engineer finally stops. About five people exit the SUVs and walk towards the other group of people at the end of the alleyway. I join in discretely and walk towards the other group of men. When we stop walking six people, including myself, stand across from another group of six people. Each of us stares at the person across from us until someone finally breaks the silence.

"I'm a little surprised that you actually went along with this," says the man standing in the center across from us, "Not many people would be willing to take a risk such as this."

"Well I'm a man of talent," says the engineer proudly, "And such talent deserves a handsome reward. Even if it is from my company's rivals."

"Yes," laughs the other man, "A handsome reward indeed."

The man lifts up the silver briefcase and holds it out flat in both of his hands. The man to his right walks up next to him and opens the case, revealing only a fraction of the large sum of money that is about to be exchanged.

The engineer looks down at the briefcase in awe and says, "It looks like you've held your end of the bargain. Now it's time to honor mine."

The engineer pulls out a tablet from his suit jacket pocket and holds it out in front of him.

"Years of work and research are all on this tablet. Every secret on every elite member of society from all over the world is contained right here in my very hands."

The man across from the engineer laughs and says, "Are you sure you want to do this? If anyone from your company finds out about this, you may be looking at a more severe punishment than being fired."

The engineer smirks and says, "They know nothing about our little meeting here tonight. No one from the company will know that this took place."

  
"Are you sure about that," I ask out loud to the people around me.

  
Everyone turns to face me. Their expressions are ones of surprise and bewilderment.

"Do you really think that no one has any idea that this meeting is taking place," I ask to everyone around me, "You fools must be more ignorant than I initially thought."

The engineer turns to me and yells, "Anything else you want to say?!"

I start to snicker and laugh, which only causes the people around me to become more confused and annoyed. I gather my resolve and simply say, "You're all dead."

And with that, I raise my right hand in the air. As I do so, I hear the suppressed sound of a rifle in the distance. And within a second, one of the engineer's bodyguards falls to the ground with a bullet hole in his head. Before the rest of the men can register what is happening, I reach into my pocket and pull out a pistol with a suppressor. I shoot five shots and kill the rest of the engineer's bodyguards. Before I can fire anymore, the other man's bodyguards have taken cover and are starting to shoot at me. I duck behind a nearby SUV and wait for an opening. I watch as my partner continues to shoot down more and more targets in quick succession. As the sounds of the gunshots from the other bodyguards start to die down, I peek my head out from cover and kill the rest of the other man's crew. I fully stand up and inspect the alley around me. Bodies from both groups of people lie on the ground filled with bullet holes. Blood from their fresh corpses stains the ground around me and paints the grey pavement crimson. The alley is filled with the salty smell of blood to the point where any person not used to it would get sick immediately. The scene around me is grisly but does nothing to shake my resolve and determination to finish the contract.

The engineer is still alive and attempts to escape by running away from me. I take the pistol in my right hand and shoot him in the leg. The engineer falls down and cries out, clutching his leg in agony. The tablet he was holding slips from his hands and slides on the ground away from him. I take my time walking over to him. The sound of his agonizing cries only fuels my desire to make him suffer more. With every step I take, I lose myself more and more to my desire to kill. I hold out my pistol once more and fire the remaining bullets into the engineer's abdomen; being careful to place my shots carefully so he doesn't die. The engineer screams out more and more with every shot that I take. When my gun is finally empty, I place it back in my pocket and stand over his bleeding body.

I kneel down next to his head and whisper to him, "You betrayed your own people for your own personal gains. ...You remind me of HIM in a way. HE took from me the most precious person in my life and left me emotionally crippled because of it. And because you remind me of HIM so much, I will personally see you suffer before you die."

I reach for my pocket knife and stab it into the engineer's collarbone. I cup my left hand over his mouth so his shrill screams don't ring throughout the alleyway. I stab my knife in several other locations of his body until finally, I stab the knife into his lower jaw so it pierces into his head. I rip the knife from his head and place it into my pocket. I look down at my hands and see that they are soaked in blood once again. The all-too-familiar sensation I tried to recall yesterday returns to me. And because of it, a part of me feels complete once again.

The sound of footsteps behind me draws my attention away from the brutalized body that lies in front of me. The assassin approaches me with a sniper slung over his shoulder.

"Good shooting," I say to the assassin.

"Ah, this was nothing. You did a good job playing the part up until it was time to take these guys out. Not to mention you had some good shots in there yourself."

The assassin stands next to me and looks down at the engineer's body.

"What the hell did you do to this guy Shuichi," asks the assassin, "His body is in really bad shape."

I answer the assassin's question matter of factly by saying, "He is a sickening individual who deserved what he got."

The assassin doesn't bring up the subject anymore. Instead, he walks over to the tablet that lies on the ground nearby and says, "I'm going to bring this back to the Society. I'll meet you back there. Stick to the rooftops, the police are on their way."

And with that, the assassin runs out of the alley and climbs up a nearby fire escape to get to the rooftops for cover. I take in the sight of the numerous dead bodies that surround me once more. The scene that is displayed before me is like something straight from a horror film. My mind wanders and I recall the night that I found Maki killing someone in an alleyway similar to this one. I remember being shocked that I was a witness to a murder. I also remember her reaction to when she found out I saw the whole thing.

"...If Maki could see me now," I say to myself, "What would she say?"

My daydream is broken by the sound of incoming police sirens. I quickly latch onto a steam pipe that runs alongside the building and use it to propel myself onto the rooftops above. By the time the police reach the scene, I have already escaped safely into the darkness of the night. As I glide from rooftop to rooftop, I look around me and realize that I am in a familiar part of the city. I slow my stride and eventually stop when I see the park that I met those two assassins in nearby. I try to look away...But I can't. It's almost as if I am drawn to it and cannot look away no matter what I do. But if the park is here, then that means--

I swing my head around and look towards a set of buildings across the way. Before I know it, I find myself jumping across the rooftops towards those specific set of buildings. When I get close enough to the point where I see through the windows, a wave of nostalgia starts to take over me.

"I haven't seen this place in a long time," I say to myself.

I stand on the rooftops across from the place I once called home. Memories of the time that I spent here with Maki and Himiko flood the back of my mind. I stare into the windows from where I stand and try to make out the different rooms in the apartment. Only a very dim light from the kitchen can be seen from where I stand. The other rooms are dark, which means everyone must be sleeping. The dim light in the kitchen reminds me of the nights I spent waiting for Maki to come home when she suddenly disappeared for a short while. I remember waiting at the kitchen table for countless hours just waiting to see if she would come home or not. Then I remember the night when I left the apartment, found her in the alleyway, and carried her injured body home in the rain and tended to her injuries that same night.

As I think on all of this, a light suddenly goes on in the apartment. It's the light to my bedroom. As I squint my eyes to make out what's going in more detail, for the first time in a long time, my heart skips a beat. Maki stands in the doorway of my bedroom. She still wears her crimson school uniform and still has her hair tied into two, long pigtails. Her injuries seem to have completely healed. At first glance, everything seems to be the same about her. But as I look at her face once more, I notice that she wears an expression of someone who is hurt and lost. Almost as if something important was taken from her, and she can't function normally without it. I watch as she stares blankly into my bedroom for a while. Her expression doesn't change and her complexion becomes more devoid of life the longer she stands there. Eventually, Maki lifelessly turns off the light and closes the bedroom door. After a few moments, another light turns on. This time it's in Maki's bedroom. I watch as Maki walks into her room as lifeless as before, closes her bedroom door, and curls into a ball on top of her bed. Her long, brown hair covers her body as she hugs her hugs her legs and buries her face into her knees. As I look closer at her, I notice that Maki's body is trembling. She shivers and shakes until finally, I see something that I thought I would never see again in my life. Maki lifts her head, still clutching her legs with her arms, and tears descend from her deep, crimson eyes. She bites her lip hard to try to suppress her cries, but it does nothing. One after another, tears keep falling down her cheeks. My body remains frozen in place as I watch this scene unfold.

Maki is...Crying.

But why...Why is she--

Before I can finish my thought, Maki's bedroom door opens and I see Himiko, dressed in her pajamas, run to Maki's side to try to comfort her. Both of them hold each other tightly to try to grasp even the slightest feeling of relief from their pain. Himiko soon after starts to cry, and I am left watching one of the saddest sights I have ever seen in my life unfold before my very eyes. Both girls bawl into each other's shoulders for what seems like an eternity. Eventually, Maki leaves her room for a moment to escort Himiko back to her room. When she returns she sits back on her bed and wipes her eyes, still gritting her teeth in an attempt to stop crying again. I can't help but continue to stare at Maki. The scene that just took place is still vivid in my mind and replays over and over again.

Why was Maki crying? The last time, and the first time, I saw her cry was when Kaito was sent to his execution. So...Why was she crying now?

"Does it matter?"

My subconscious starts to go crazy and my mind becomes a flurry of thoughts. Inside of me right now, a war rages between the feelings of despair that now overtake my heart and soul, and the nostalgic, hopeful feelings that I buried and forgot long ago when I became an assassin.

"She never had feelings for you."

"She misses you Shuichi."

"She's probably crying because she thought of Kaito again."

My vision blurs and I suddenly feel nauseous. In an attempt to try to quell my thoughts I let out a suppressed scream. I stand up from the spot where I have been looking into the apartment and turn to walk away. I stop myself and turn back to look where Maki is sitting one last time.

"Maki," I say softly to the air around me.

As if Maki had heard me, she turns to look out the window and looks in my general direction. She stares out the window for a while until I feel her eyes lock on my own. She stares into my eyes, and I stare into hers. The more I stare into her eyes the more intense my deeply mixed feelings of hope and despair become. Maki quickly sits up in her bed, but as she does so I turn around and proceed back to the Society's compound. The despair inside of me pushes me to return to the compound and to forget, as quickly as I can, everything that transpired here tonight.

I glide across the many rooftops until I reach the part of the city where the buildings become more scarce. I jump back down to street level. I take a few steps in the direction of the compound but am stopped immediately by the sound of footsteps behind me.

I don't even have to look to know who's footsteps they belong to.

 

"Shuichi!!"

  
"What are you doing here, Maki?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. July has been a hectic month for me, but I still found time to write this really cool chapter!
> 
> The next chapter is going to be one of my favorites!! It's going to be from Maki's perspective and will cover everything from Danganronpa to where this chapter leaves off.
> 
> For those of you who have been wondering what happened to Maki and Himiko after Shuichi was taken to become an assassin, the next chapter will reveal all of that, and then some.
> 
> I hope you guys look forward to it and are as excited about it as I am!


	6. Her Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month has passed since Shuichi left to become the Ultimate Assassin. And still burdened with the pain of loss, Maki recalls her memories from Danganronpa until now. And while she does, she starts to realize that certain feelings inside of her heart are not as trivial as she initially believed.

"Maki?"

Himiko lightly knocks on my bedroom door and calls my name in a concerned tone. She opens the door slowly. The faint light from the kitchen shines through the growing opening in the doorway and pierces through the pitch blackness of my bedroom. I don't look up at her. Instead, I remain in my bed with my head pressed against my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. My long, brown hair drapes over my arms and legs, covering my body almost completely. Himiko continues to stand in the doorway. She stares at me with a look of sadness and despair.

"M-Maki...I'm going to bed now."

I remain silent and don't move an inch. My body and mind are so devastated with despair that even moving a finger sends a pain that I never thought possible throughout my body. Himiko takes my silence as a sign of acknowledgment and closes my bedroom door. My room once again becomes a canvas of pitch blackness, much like the darkness that consumes my heart and soul right now.

"...Shuichi," I mutter to the darkness around me.

Even saying his name causes the pain inside of me to grow. My mind immediately recalls the last time that I saw him. In the park, when his eyes locked with mine...I saw something that I thought I would never see in Shuichi.

...I saw despair. A despair so agonizing and so filled with grief that even bearing witness to it was devastating. And then in an instant...He was taken away.

Once again another important person in my life has been taken away from me, possibly forever. And the suffering I feel because of it is nothing but a hellish nightmare.

"But...Why," I ask myself, "Why does it hurt so much?"

My past may be a fabrication of Tsumugi's sick and twisted game, but the emotions, the experiences, and memories of my life as an assassin feel all too real. In my past life, I've killed more people than I can count. ...So then why?

Why am I filled with so much despair over Shuichi being taken away?

He's just another person...Another victim.

...Isn't he?

Different feelings and emotions start to swirl inside my heart. I'm still not used to all of them. Ever since I became an assassin, the only feeling I ever felt was emptiness, the only name I was ever called was "bitch," and the only thing I had to look forward to was returning to my cold and dark cell after having just killed someone.

The first time anyone offered me any sort of kindness was in Danganronpa:

* * *

  
I had thought that when my true identity as the Ultimate Assassin was revealed to everyone that I would be immediately deemed an outcast. I suppose it wouldn't have been the worst feeling in the world, given that almost everyone in my life prior to that point in time has either abandoned me, abused me, or used me in some way. But they...They were different.

"Listen, Shuichi, as my sidekick you are going to do exactly as I say. And I say that you and I are going to start doing some late night exercises so that we can become stronger."

The idiot of the stars, Kaito Momota, stands over there talking with Shuichi Saihara, the supposed Ultimate Detective with the inferiority complex. Kaito wraps one of his arms around Shuichi's shoulder and starts to laugh. Both of them seem rather jovial despite the desperate atmosphere that surrounds us constantly in this...Academy. I simply let out a sigh and walk past them towards the dormitories. A small, yet noticeable, feeling of nostalgia washes over me. Shuichi and Kaito's bond reminds me of the time I spent with that little girl in the orphanage many years ago. The times we played house together, comforted each other when we were sad, and always were there for each other in the good times and the bad. Those were my only happy memories. ...If only I could spend time with her again.

As my mind wanders to memories of my childhood, I completely ignore the sound of approaching footsteps behind me.

"Hey, Maki."

I turn around and see Kaito and Shuichi both standing behind me smiling.

"Shuichi and I are going to do some drills tonight. You should join us," says Kaito.

I simply stare at the two of them blankly. I'm sure this is just a cruel joke, a way for them to take advantage of me and perhaps use me. I can't trust anyone anymore, especially in this place.

I give a menacing stare to the both of them and say, "What are you trying to pull? I'm an assassin correct? It's my job to kill people, especially idiots like you. Just leave me alone like everyone else does."

I turn away from them and proceed to walk back to the dorms once again. After a few steps, Kaito's words stop me in my tracks.

"You're afraid aren't you?"

I freeze to the spot. Different emotions start to swell inside of me. I clench my fists and grit my teeth in annoyance and frustration.

I turn to Kaito and say, "Do you want to die?"

I channel all of my emotions of bitterness and anger into my words, hoping that the message comes across that I do not want to be bothered by anyone. Especially someone like HIM.

Kaito, however, doesn't react. In fact, he just continues to smile his usual smile.

He grins and says, "You can only run from yourself for so long. Sooner or later, you are going to have to face the demons that you possess. But you don't have to do it alone. Shuichi and I are going to be out here tonight exercising. We are going to train to overcome our demons and face the world with all of the strength that we can muster. ...I hope that we will see you there, Maki."

Kaito's words resonate with me longer than I expected. Somehow in what he said, a small part of me feels at peace.

I quickly mask this feeling and simply walk away towards my dorm room. I stare at the ground as I do so, trying to interpret this strange feeling that is resonating inside of me. I reach my dorm room, close my door, and collapse onto my bed. I let out an audible sigh as I stare into the pitch blackness that covers my whole room.

"What does an idiot like him know about anything anyway," I ask myself.

As I stare into space, my mind keeps replaying the words that Kaito spoke to me. It's almost as if he knew exactly what I was feeling. Almost as if he could see through me. He reminds me of the girl I used to spend time with. She would always see through me and know exactly what I was feeling or thinking. ...She was the only person in my life so far that has always been there for me. I lie in my bed daydreaming and reminiscing for a while. My mind sorts through the good times, and especially the bad times, of my life before being forced into this academy. After some time, the sound of Kaito and Shuichi leaving their dorm rooms gets my attention. I hear them muttering to themselves about something as they walk out of the building and into the courtyard.

Maybe...Maybe I should join them.

No, I can't go. If the other students see me out at this hour, they're going to suspect something...Or worse.

I go back and forth with myself on deciding whether or not I should join Shuichi and Kaito in the courtyard. I eventually end up frustrated with myself and bury my face into my pillow. No, I've decided...I'm not going to go. There's no reason for me to spend time with those two idiots anyway.

And just when I think I have made up my mind, one final thought makes me change my decision.

It's probably what SHE would have wanted me to do.

Every time I would hesitate to do something, my friend from the orphanage would always give me the support that I needed and pushed me to become a better version of myself.  And if she were here right now, she would be telling me that I should be exercising with Shuichi and Kaito right now.

I sigh and get up from my bed. I guess it wouldn't be all bad if I went. If worse comes to worst, I could always just kill them.

I open my bedroom door and walk into the main room of the dorm building. I look around and am relieved to see that no one else is here. I walk down the steps and walk out of the dorm building and into the courtyard. The stars in the night sky above illuminate the courtyard just enough for me to see Shuichi and Kaito in the distance. I slowly make my way over to them, being cautious as I do so in case this is a trap. Eventually, Kaito turns around and greets me as I come closer.

"Hey, Maki, you made it!"

Kaito gives one of his signature thumbs-up poses and flashes a smile at me. I simply stare back at him, unsure as to how I should react.

Shuichi, who is sitting on the ground getting ready to start their exercise routine, looks up at me smiling and says, "I'm glad you could make it, Maki."

I simply stand in the same spot and don't utter a word. For all I know, they could be plotting against me and are ready to kill me at a moment's notice. I should have come more prepared. I should have stopped by my lab and gotten some--

"Hey, Maki, you won't get much exercise done if you just stand there."

Kaito's remark interrupts my train of thought. I look down at both Shuichi and Kaito and see that they've already started doing their workout. It looks like they're starting out by doing some push-ups...Easy. I walk over to Shuichi's side and begin to do push-ups of my own. Like a machine, I push my body off of the ground and perform my push-ups one after another at a rapid pace.

1, 2, 3.....96, 97, 98, 99, 100.

"Wow, Maki, " says Shuichi in an impressed tone, "You're really good at this. You're putting me to shame over here."

"Yeah you've got a long way to go if you want to be like her, Shuichi," says Kaito laying on his back with his hands linked behind his head.

"H-hey, Kaito, we're supposed to be doing these together," says Shuichi in a surprised manner.

"Nah, you guys need this more than I do. And besides, you're my sidekick Shuichi, that means you should be doing my push-ups for me."

"W-what are you talking about," continues Shuichi acting even more surprised at Kaito's ridiculous statement.

After I complete many more push-ups, I get up off of the ground. I wipe my forehead with the back of my right hand. I barely have broken a sweat, as opposed to Shuichi who is almost about to pass out from overexerting himself.

Kaito stands up and looks at both Shuichi and I and says, "You both did a great job tonight. But how's about we hang out a little bit more before going back to our dorm rooms?"

"But Kaito, " says Shuichi still catching his breath, "It's almost time for the curfew. If the others find out about this, they might suspect we're up to something."

"Ah, come on Shuichi, you need to take more risks," says Kaito wrapping his arm around Shuichi once again.

Eventually, Shuichi agrees and the two of them start to make their way to the grass nearby.

Kaito and Shuichi both look at me and ask, "Are you coming, Maki?"

I let out an audible sigh and say, "I suppose."

I walk a slight distance behind Shuichi and Kaito, still preparing for anything unexpected that might happen. The three of us sit down in a circle in the middle of the grassy part of the courtyard. I simply stare at Shuichi and Kaito and wait for either one of them to start talking.

Kaito looks at me and says, "It was awesome having you out here tonight with Shuichi and I. I hope that you were able to begin to trust us a little bit more."

I sigh and say, "At the very least I've come to realize that you aren't capable of murdering someone else given how idiotic you are."

Shuichi starts to laugh at my very serious remark about Kaito's lack of intelligence.

Kaito smirks and replies, "Heh, I think you should cut me some slack Maki-roll."

I go silent at the unexpected nickname that Kaito has decided to give me.

As I give a death stare to Kaito, he simply looks at me and says, "It's a new nickname that I just came up with for you. I think it's pretty fitting if you ask me."

I simply stare at Kaito more and say, "Do you want to die?"

Shuichi starts to laugh again and says, "I actually like the nickname, Maki. I think it's a cute nickname for you."

I puff my cheeks and run my fingers through my hair in disapproval.

"I...I'm not cute," I mutter to myself poutily.

The three of us continue throughout the night just talking to each other about whatever comes to our minds. Topics such as our childhoods and dreams come up, and each one of us opens up about ourselves to each other. Still feeling very much on guard, I don't speak much despite me feeling more comfortable being around Shuichi and Kaito. Instead, I focus on my attention to what Shuichi and Kaito have to say about themselves. Kaito says that it is his dream to go to space one day. Hopefully, he says, it will be while his grandparents are still alive so that they can see him fulfill his dreams. Shuichi wants to be a world-renowned detective who can solve any case that is given to him. He says that he wants to be just as good as this girl named Kyoko Kirigiri and her grandfather Fuhito Kirigiri, both of whom are masters of their trade. Both Kaito and Shuichi's dreams seem cliche, and almost childlike, but they remind me of my own ambition to be an actual Ultimate Child Caregiver. This too was a dream of mine from a young age, so I can't judge Shuichi and Kaito for feeling the way that they feel about their hopes and dreams.

The night continues on and eventually concludes. I go back to my room feeling something that I never thought I would feel again. It is a small, yet warm feeling that formed inside of my heart. What do they call this emotion?

Now I remember...They call it happiness. An emotion that everyone tries to feel as much of as they can. And now I start to understand why.

But my happiness was to be short-lived. Because just a few days later everything changed, and the new friend group that I thought I had was never the same.

"Yo, Shuichi, do you want to hang out with me and Maki-roll tonight?"

"I'm sorry, I won't be able to make it. There was something that I was going to do tonight...Alone."

Kaito, Shuichi, and I have been spending all of our nights together exercising before we all went to bed. Without even saying anything during the day, the three of us would know that we were going to meet up later in the courtyard to workout and then later spend the evening talking about whatever came to our minds. But before long, I noticed Shuichi starting to drift further and further away from Kaito and I. I almost start getting the sense that he is avoiding us...Especially me. I don't want to address it to him, but at the same time I can't help but feel a small sense of betrayal. I let out an accidental sigh that catches the attention of Kaito.

"Maki-roll, are you okay?"

"Oh, y-yeah I'm fine."

"It's a shame that Shuichi won't be able to make it to the workout session tonight, especially since all of them so far have been with the three of us, but you're my sidekick too and we need to stick together," says Kaito puffing his chest out in pride.

"Idiot," I say plainly.

The day passes rather quickly, which is rare when you are constantly wondering when the next body discovery announcement is going to be announced. Kaito and I meet up in the courtyard and begin our normal routine of exercising. Halfway through our workout routine of sit-ups, however, I look up and notice Shuichi walking through the courtyard. I watch as he walks towards the door separating the casino from the rest of the academy, trying to remain as discrete as possible so as not to attract attention. Why did Shuichi go in there? What is it that he plans to do exactly?

"Hey, Maki-roll, are you okay," asks Kaito.

I don't respond. Instead, I continue doing my sit-ups, keeping my eyes pinned on the door leading to the casino wondering if I'll see Shuichi return before going back to the dorm. After Kaito and I finish working out, we sit on the grass in the courtyard talking. Only small amounts of conversation are exchanged between the two of us. I guess the fact that Shuichi isn't here is too noticeable for us to continue as we normally would if all of us were here together.

Kaito eventually sits up and says, "We should probably get back to the dorm now, it's getting pretty late."

I simply nod in agreement and stand up alongside him. We both make our way back to the dorms together. But after a few steps, I notice my vision beginning to haze up. I blink my eyes a few times to try to refocus my vision, but it doesn't do anything to help my eyesight. My mind starts to feel fuzzy, and in response, I place my right hand on my forehead and run my fingers over my eyelids to try to collect myself.

I hear Kaito stop walking and say, "Maki-roll, is something bothering you?"

With each passing moment, I start to feel like I'm being drawn to something. Feelings of desire and longing start to enter into my heart until finally I am completely taken over by these emotions.

"I-I'm fine," I say slurring my speech slightly, "T-There's just something that I wanted to do before going back to my dorm room for the night, that's all."

Kaito simply stares back at me and says, "Uh, okay. I'll see you tomorrow then."

Kaito turns around and waves his hand in the air as he walks back to the dorms. Now that I'm alone, my body, almost as if I was being pulled along by somebody else, starts to make its way towards the doors leading to the casino. With each step that I take I find my mind becoming hazier until finally, my mind blanks out completely.

  
Even now I can't recall how the rest of that night went in the slightest. But I remember the morning after vividly.

That's when Shuichi really started to become a different person.

  
I slowly open my eyes as my body tells me that it's time to wake up. As I open my eyes, I notice that I have my arms clutched near my body as if I were cradling something very close to me. I place my right hand over my chest and notice that my heart is beating slightly faster than usual. A warm and gentle feeling also envelopes my heart, and I feel my cheeks start to turn red.

"What's happening to me," I think to myself.

Maybe I'm starting to get sick. But the feeling inside of me doesn't feel bad. Instead, it feels...nice. It's a feeling that I have never felt before. It's a feeling of intense desire and deep longing. But a longing and desire for what? And why, all of a sudden, did I start to feel this way? As I ponder and try to articulate the emotions that are inside of me, I hear a knock on my bedroom door. I walk over to the door and open it.

"Morning, Maki-roll. Did you sleep well?"

Kaito stands before me filled with energy as always. Trying to mask my feelings I respond bluntly to Kaito's greeting.

"Why are you here?"

"Well, I came up with the best idea for a workout session tonight. I thought that you, Shuichi, and I could all run 50 laps around the academy."

50 laps around the academy isn't a lot for me. But I can't say the same for Kaito and Shuichi. They'll probably pass out after the second lap.

I don't respond. Instead, I simply let out an annoyed sigh.

Kaito takes this as a sign of approval and says energetically, "Awesome, I'm glad that you're on board with this."

Kaito turns around and begins to walk towards the dorm building entrance.

"I'll see you later then Maki-roll!"

I walk out of my room and say to him, "This was your idea, so I hope you intend to do all of that exercise with me or I'll kill you."

I meant what I said, but as I watch Kaito walk out of the dorm building something inside of me feels excited to be able to spend more time with him tonight. A small smile makes its way onto my face and my cheeks begin to turn red again.

I gently place my right hand against my right cheek and say with a small smile, "Did I have a dream about Kaito last night?"

Just then, I hear the sound of someone's bedroom door close nearby. I turn my head quickly and try to make out whose door it was that made the sound. My eyes zero in on Shuichi's door.

Was Shuichi watching me? And if he saw Kaito and me, why didn't he say anything to us?

Questions start to flood my mind about Shuichi's recent behavior. Shuichi used to be so open and wanted to spend time with Kaito and I. But recently, it seems like he has been drifting away. Almost as if something has started to take over him.

Is Shuichi trying to ignore me?

I take a step towards the direction of his door but stop. Feelings of hesitation start to take over me and I find myself unable to go to Shuichi's room. Instead, I turn around and walk out of the dorm building.

It's probably just my imagination anyway.

The day progresses as usual. I grab something quick to eat from the dining hall so as to not attract too much attention from the other students. Everyone is still keeping their distance from me out of fear and hate, and I don't blame them. Right before I can leave the dining hall, however, I notice Angie and Kokichi get up from the table and leave the dining hall at the same time. They seem to be in a hurry, I wonder where they're going?

As I get up to leave the dining hall, I am suddenly stopped by someone's voice.

"Going somewhere, Ms. Assassin?"

I freeze in place. Anger and bitterness start to take over my body. I slowly turn around and stare into the yellow eyes of the person who uttered those words.

"Do you want to die, Korekiyo?"

Korekiyo stands up from his seat and dances his way over to where I am standing.

"My oh my, please forgive my rude interruption. I just couldn't resist the temptation of flirting with someone as beautiful, yet devilish, as you dear Maki."

As Korekiyo seductively tries to trance me with his words, I clench my fists in annoyance and frustration.

Taking notice, Korekiyo snickers and says, "Getting feisty are we. How...delicious. But you must pardon me, for I did not approach you today to fight. Instead, I have something rather interesting, yet serious, to share with you."

The more I stand to listen to Korekiyo's ramblings, the sicker I feel. I turn around and place my hand up in preparation to push open the door leading to the hallway.  
Right before I can do so, however, Korekiyo's next words freeze me in my tracks.

"It's about Shuichi and your feelings for Kaito," says Korekiyo, certain that his words would have an impact on me.

My eyes widen and my heart starts to beat faster. Cold sweat starts to form on my skin and I start to feel chills throughout my body. How does Korekiyo know about my new feelings for Kaito?

"Ke ke ke, I knew that that would get your attention. Even with a heart as black as yours, I guess even someone like you can still find people in your life that you can create special bonds with. Normally I don't like to pry into other people's private matters, but I just felt obligated to say that...Your feelings for Kaito will certainly bring you misery."

I don't turn around, instead, I remain frozen in place and wait for Korekiyo to continue.

"The spirits of this world have come to me in a dream and showed me just how defeated Shuichi has become recently. Might I even say, there is a despair forming inside of Shuichi's heart. A despair that will bring about nothing but pain and misery for him and everyone else around him. It's a shame really; Someone that shines as bright as he does, at this rate, is destined to fall into the clutches of the dark abyss of despair. It may not be now, or even immediately in the future, but what I can say is this--"

Korekiyo pauses and says, "You may never save him if you continue down the path you are on with Kaito."

Korekiyo's words ignite anger inside of me. I clench my right fist and turn around to punch him. But as I turn around, I find that Korekiyo has disappeared. I look around the room somewhat frantically, trying to catch even a glimpse of that bastard. ...But he is nowhere to be found.

I drop my fist, suddenly feeling exhausted from the sudden rush of emotions that I just felt. What was Korekiyo just talking about? How did he know so much about my growing feelings for Kaito? ...And what did he mean about Shuichi's heart? My mind starts to fog up and I find it difficult to concentrate on what Korekiyo said.

...It was probably just nonsense anyway. That creep never made much sense, and now should be no different.

I turn around and finally make my way out of the dining hall. As I walk into the main room in the first-floor hallway, I see Kaito walking towards me.

"Maki-roll, I was just looking for you!"

I'm taken by surprise and slightly flustered as Kaito walks up to me. My cheeks start to slightly blush, but I do my best to mask my feelings as best as I can.

"What do you want," I say plainly.

"I was going to check in with Shuichi and see if he wanted to exercise with us tonight. Want to join me," asks Kaito.

I simply nod and follow behind Kaito as we walk to the exit of the main building. As Kaito and I open the door and walk into the courtyard, I am surprised to see Shuichi, along with Angie and Kokichi, walking towards us. Korekiyo's words start to flood my mind once again as I look at Shuichi.

Something is definitely different about him. The way he walks, his demeanor, even the way that he looks all seem different. They all seem...darker.

"Yo, Shuichi," shouts Kaito over to Shuichi.

It's faint, but I notice Shuichi grimace slightly at the sight of Kaito.

"Hey, Kaito, what's up," says Shuichi almost forcefully.

"Maki-roll and I are going to do some more intense exercise tonight. You in," asks Kaito energetically.

I notice that Shuichi is trying his best to avoid eye contact with me. His eyes seem to be focusing on everything but me.

After a brief pause, Shuichi sighs and says, "I wish I could make it, but Angie, Kokichi, and I have some stuff going on tonight."

Something feels off. It's almost as if Shuichi is trying his hardest to avoid us completely.

"Ah I see," says Kaito trying to remain energetic, "Well maybe we can all hang out afterward!"

"Yeah, that would be a great idea," says Kokichi to Kaito smiling.

"Wow, really," Kaito asks almost shocked.

"No, it's a lie," responds Kokichi grinning mischievously, "Besides, I wouldn't want Ms. Assassin here to gut me while we are all hanging out together."

Kokichi's words cut through me and cause my blood to boil. If it were just me and him alone right now, I would definitely wring his neck just like before when he revealed I was an assassin to the rest of the class. Only this time I would make sure to kill him. I stare into Kokichi's eyes and send him signals of death and hatred.

"Nyee hee hee," laughs Kokichi, "Be careful there. If you give such a powerful look like that to someone, they might fall in love you."

Kokichi's taunts only provoke me further. But before my emotions take over me, Shuichi interrupts Kokichi.

"Cut it out Kokichi," says Shuichi forcefully.

I turn to face Shuichi once again and notice that he has an angry expression on his face. I'm surprised to see Shuichi like this, especially since he doesn't seem to have a reason to be so upset over Kokichi doing his usual taunts.

Kokichi turns to Shuichi and says, "You're right Shuichi, who could fall in love with her?"

Kokichi turns his teasing to Shuichi instead of me. It almost seems intentional. Almost as if Kokichi is trying to drag something out of Shuichi.

And based on Shuichi's next remark, I'm willing to bet that I was right.

"You'd be surprised who could fall in love with someone such as her."

Silence hangs in the air as Shuichi's words still process with everyone...Especially me.

I stand there silent unable to speak a word. Seconds feel like minutes until finally, Shuichi breaks the silence.

"Come on, let's go find Keebo."

Shuichi ushers Angie and Kokichi to proceed with what they were doing prior to our encounter, and it works. Angie and Kokichi start to walk to the main building and Shuichi follows behind them. As Shuichi passes by Kaito he briefly exchanges a farewell with him and continues past him, making sure not to make eye contact with me. I can't help but stare at Shuichi as he goes by.

A feeling deep inside of my heart starts to surface the longer I stare at him. This feeling envelops me in a strong embrace and pokes at the far corners of my mind as if trying to remind me of something important that I have forgotten.

  
"Man, what's gotten into him," asks Kaito puzzled.

I'm snapped out of my trance by Kaito's remark about Shuichi.

All I can do is continue to look at Shuichi. The feelings inside of me intensify and cause my heart to beat faster. But...Why? What are these feelings inside of me? I've never felt anything like them before today.

I place my hand over my chest to feel my heartbeat once again. My body feels warm and my heart beats quickly. My stomach feels like it has butterflies inside of it.

"Shuichi." I gently say his name to the air around me, a tiny part of me hoping that that would cause him to turn around and walk back to us...To me.

"We should get going," says Kaito walking towards the rest of the courtyard.

I stand in the same place for a few more seconds staring at the building that Shuichi just entered. Korekiyo's words enter my mind once again. Korekiyo always spoke cryptically and non-sensically. But I can't help but feel that what he said this time about Shuichi might actually be true.

My right foot instinctively takes a step towards the main building, but I'm stopped when Kaito calls over to me.

"Maki-roll, are you coming?"

I hesitate and clutch at the white bow that hangs on my chest. I'm...I'm sure that Shuichi will be fine.

I say these words, but I don't fully believe in them. Despite that, however, I turn away from the building and walk with Kaito.

* * *

I was foolish when I did that. It's surprising for me to admit this, but I should have heeded Korekiyo's warning. I never would have thought that Shuichi would do something so desperate...And for Himiko and I no less. Despite Tsumugi's words to us during the last class trial, to this day I still think that my feelings for Kaito were legitimate and not a fabrication. When Kaito started getting violently ill, for the first time in my life, I felt genuinely scared and desperate. I remember him coughing up blood and soaking his mouth and shirt with it. I remember caring for him and watch him writhe in agony until finally, he would pass out from the pain. I was terrified that one of the only people who brought me any kindness and happiness in my life was going to be taken from me...And that turned out to be the case exactly.

I remember the 5th class trial as if it were yesterday. Kokichi...Never before in my life had I ever wanted someone dead and wanted to kill them that badly. And I remember Shuichi. He did his usual routine and found out the truth behind the matter just like all the previous class trials. But something about Shuichi seemed off, even more so than before. When Kaito revealed himself in the exisal, Shuichi almost looked angry and disappointed. But anyone who didn't focus in on Shuichi's emotions would never have been able to tell that something about him was off. He played his role as the Ultimate Detective perfectly. And regardless of how he felt about anything, he would always put everyone else before himself. ...He was our true ray of hope.

I thought that when we escaped Danganronpa that we would be able to put all of this behind us. Shuichi started working as a real detective, Himiko became a famous magician, and I became an actual child caregiver. We were all utilizing the artificial talents that had been given to us by Tsumugi to pursue our passions and create hope in the world. But despite all of that, Shuichi still didn't revert back to the way that he originally was.

I remember right when we escaped from Danganronpa and entered back into the real world. The door behind us that led to Danganronpa had been closed forever. I turned around to see Shuichi clutching the doorknob on the door. I didn't blame him. After all, I'm sure that he felt the burden of being unable to save the rest of his classmates from the clutches of despair...Even if he too was filled with it. I walked over to him and wrapped my hand around his. Shuichi turned to face me, and our eyes connected. Once again those feelings deep inside my heart started to flourish once more. That was the first time in a while that I saw Shuichi truly filled with peace and happiness. I had hoped that that feeling would last for him...For us, but it was only a matter of time before despair caught up to him.

That night, the night before the assassin clan found me, I remember sitting at the dinner table eating with Shuichi and Himiko. Shuichi wanted us spending time together like that to be a regular occurrence, but that night, in particular, was special. We all sat around the table laughing and sharing stories about things that we experienced and how we were fairing at our new jobs. It felt as if we were a family. But despite all of that happiness, Shuichi stilled agonized in pain on the inside. Every once in a while, if you were paying attention, you could see Shuichi's demeanor turn dark. Almost as if something inside of him kept surfacing, and he had to try his hardest just to keep his hidden feelings at bay. It was hard to watch, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I had to do something about it.

After I had taken a shower, after finishing my tea, I noticed Shuichi standing in his bedroom. Feeling worried about him, I decided to visit him to make sure that he was okay. As I got closer to Shuichi's room, I noticed in the moonlight that shined through Shuichi's window that there was something in Shuichi's hand. I couldn't see it clearly from where I was standing, but its metal surface shined as the moonlight reflected off of it.

Despite not being able to identify clearly what Shuichi was holding, something about it seemed...familiar. Almost as if it's something that I have seen before.      Something...important.

As I stand in Shuichi's doorway, Shuichi tucks the object underneath his shirt and turns around. I can barely see Shuichi in the darkness, but he is able to recognize me regardless.

"Hey Maki," Shuichi says plainly.

"Hey Shuichi," I reply with slight worry in my voice.

"It's getting a little late, is everything okay," Shuichi asks me.

"Yeah, everything's fine," I fib, "I just...wanted to check in on you that's all."

"Check in on me," Shuichi asks curiously, "Did I do something to make you worry?"

I grab one of my pigtails and begin to run both of my hands through it. I start to feel anxious at the thought of addressing Shuichi's recent behavior, and his behavior in Danganronpa. What if I just make it worse?

No, I can't shy away. If Shuichi's hurting, then I should help him.

"I just can't help but notice that you seem sad...And I can't help but feel like it's because of me."

I notice Shuichi shuffle around uncomfortably. I worry even more that something bad is going to happen. But Shuichi quickly goes on the defensive.

"I'm sorry for making you feel that way," Shuichi says sincerely, "But I can assure you that I'm fine and that there is nothing to worry about."

That's not true. Something is bothering you Shuichi, not just now but even in Danganronpa, and I can't just turn away from it.

"I'm not convinced," I respond with slight determination, "Even while we were in the Danganronpa world, you were distant then as well. You started to spend your time with Angie, Kokichi, and Keebo mainly. You would even talk to Kaito here and there. But it seemed like you were going out of your way to avoid me...It seemed like you wanted nothing to do with me."

My mind recalls when Shuichi started to drift away in Danganronpa. He would barely look at me or acknowledge me. It was almost as if Shuichi saw any type of interaction with me as forbidden--that if he even so much as thought about me it would spell disaster.

Thinking about this I start to feel like I've been abandoned. Nostalgic feelings from my time in the orphanage as a kid start to surface in my mind, along with the painful memories of my assassin days. I grit my teeth and clench my fists to try to quell the emotions inside of me. Shuichi notices, and suddenly...

He wraps his arms around me and gently cradles me in his grasp. No one has ever been so bold as to try to hug me before...At least not on purpose. Instinctively my body tenses up and my arms raise slightly in preparation for me to throw Shuichi off of me. But my assassin's instincts and my dark feelings about the past that started taking over me start to subside, leaving only feelings of peace and tranquility inside of me. I don't hug Shuichi back, instead, I allow my body to relax in his arms and rest against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat and the feeling of his warmth make me feel nostalgic. These feelings remind me of how I felt that one morning in Danganronpa. Recalling the feeling, I nuzzle my head against Shuichi's chest and narrow my eyes not wanting this feeling to end.

Shuichi holds onto me a little tighter and says, "That's not true at all. I will never throw you away." Shuichi tightens his grip around me and says with a hint of sadness in his voice, "How could I?"

My heart feels full right now. This feeling...it's so strange. I've never felt anything like this before. Having Shuichi hold me like this, hearing his heartbeat, feeling his warmth...I feel so complete, but at the same time, I feel scared. I'm satisfied with just this but at the same time, I want more of him. I embrace these feelings more than ever before. There's still a lot I don't understand, but there is one thing that I am certain of right now.

Don't let me go, Shuichi.

But much to my dismay...Shuichi lets go. He takes a step back from me, giving me space, and he looks into my eyes with a gentle look. Still absorbed with the feelings of Shuichi's presence, all I can do is continue to stand where I was before and stare into space. My mind goes blank and my body feels light and fuzzy. I didn't want that moment to end.

...I didn't want that moment to end?

After a moment or two, I regain my composure and come back to reality. I look at Shuichi, who is still looking at me.

I smile a small smile and say, "Goodnight Shuichi."

I turn around and walk out of his room and go to mine. I close my bedroom door behind me and lie on my bed. I clutch at my heart with both of my hands as I recall the feeling of Shuichi holding me in his arms.

"Why," I ask myself, "Why do I feel this way?"

I've never felt like this towards Shuichi before. Kaito was the one who I had feelings for, so then...Why do I feel this way?

I try to make sense of everything that is happening inside of my heart for what seems like forever. But eventually, I fall asleep still unable to reconcile the feelings that surge inside of me.

The next morning I wake up and go to the orphanage feeling tired and groggy. The feelings inside of me kept surging throughout my heart and body, keeping me from staying asleep. And even now, just thinking about Shuichi causes my heart to beat fast and my mind to wander. So much so that I don't even notice that one of the children is trying to get my attention.

"Ms. Maki, can you tuck me in please?"

A little girl walks up to me and tugs on my skirt. I look down at her and smile a gentle smile.

"Of course I can," I say happily, "Let's go to your room."

I hold the little girl's hand and walk her to her bedroom. The rooms here in this orphanage are simple and plain, yet I'm just happy that the children have a place to sleep at all. All the rooms are identical except for a few minor details like the different artwork that the children make and hang on their walls. The room this little girl sleeps in can't be more than 100 square feet in size. The walls are painted white and the floor is made of wood. Her bed is small and sits in the back-right corner of the room. The bed frame is made out of wood and is covered with white sheets. A white pillow sits on the little girl's bed, and in front of the white pillow sits a plush, pink bunny. On the walls of the room, several drawings can be seen that the little girl drew herself. The drawings are simple, yet very well made. You can tell that a lot of heart and feeling went into making them. My personal favorite is the one that hangs on the right wall of the room. It's a drawing of me and the little girl holdings hands and it's captioned "Ms. Maki is the greatest, she always spends time with me."

As I continue to look around the little girl's room, I can't help but feel sorry for her, and all of the other children here in the orphanage. I can only hope that someone out there will come for these children soon. With a somewhat heavy feeling in my chest, I walk the little girl over to her bed and help her climb under her sheets. The little girl places her head on top of her pillow and clutches her pink bunny tightly against her chest with both of her arms. I turn off the main light in the room and turn on the nightlight that is plugged into the wall nearby. The room is now filled with a gentle and caressing, yellow light. I sit on the little girl's bedside and smile at her.

"I had fun spending time with you today," I say to the girl smiling, "I hope you get a good night's sleep."

The little girl smiles and asks me, "Ms. Maki, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can," I reply to the girl, "You can ask me anything."

"Do you know what love is?"

The little girl's question catches me off guard and causes me to go silent. I certainly wasn't expecting her to ask me something like that. I try to come up with an answer, but find that it's not a question I can answer as easily as I would like to.

I try to buy myself some time by asking, "What makes you ask that?"

"It's just that...My mommy and daddy would always tell me that they loved me. They used to tell me that because they loved me that nothing bad would ever happen to me and that we would always be together as a family. But...Now that my mommy and daddy are gone, does that mean that they lied to me? Does that me that they didn't love me?

My heart becomes saddened at what this little girl has just asked me. The unfortunate reality of working here at an orphanage is that these children don't have homes anymore, and they don't have parents to care for them. Because of this sad fact, I'm driven to do whatever I can for these kids until they can finally create lives of their own and find people that love them.

I collect myself and respond to the little girl.

"Of course your mommy and daddy loved you," I say enthusiastically to the little girl, "They loved you so much, and I promise that one day you will find other people that will love you too."

I smile at the girl, which in turn brings a smile to her face as well.

"Have you ever loved someone, Ms. Maki," asks the little girl curiously.

Once again I am taken off guard and find my mind racing through everything from Danganronpa up until now.

I take a deep breath and finally answer the little girl's question.

"Well, there was this one boy that I knew who was very kind to me. He taught me to be true to myself, face my fears, and never give up."

"Are you still with that boy," asks the little girl.

I frown as the thought of Kaito's death enters my mind. If I think about it for too long there's a good chance that my mood will turn dark, so I immediately suppress those thoughts and force a smile to the little girl.

"Unfortunately I am not," I say hesitantly, "He was...taken somewhere where I can't go, so that means that I can't see him anymore."

The little girl frowns and says, "So he left you alone...Just like how I was left alone."

I am filled with surprise at the little girl's remark and quickly do my best to lift her spirits.

"No, that's not true! I'm still happy, see?"

I smile an even bigger smile than before to try to lift the saddening mood between me and the little girl.

"But does this mean that you don't have anyone to love," asks the little girl with a hint of concern.

My heart starts to flutter and my mind begins to think of HIM once again. My cheeks start to redden and I try to restrain myself from crossing my arms over my chest to try to recapture the feeling of being held in his arms. I gently close my eyes and embrace all of these feelings. After a moment or two, I answer the little girl's question.

"No, that's not true. There is this...other person that I know that I find to be...interesting."

I start to run my hands through one of my pigtails as I say these words.

The little girl's expression lights up and she asks, "Who is this person, Ms. Maki?"

I smile and tell her about this "mystery person."

"Well," I begin, "He was actually a friend of the person that I mentioned earlier. I met him not too long ago in a faraway place, and now we live together in the same house."

"Is he a nice person," asks the little girl, excited to hear more about this person.

I smile and reply blushing even more, "Yes he his...He's one of the best people that I have ever met. He is kind and sweet. He's very considerate and always thinks about others before he thinks about himself. And...He's also very cute."

"You must love him a lot Ms. Maki," says the girl happily.

The little girl's words resonate in my heart and cause me to daydream.  I gently close my eyes and think about him more.

"Love," I think to myself. Is that what these feelings are? ...Love?

I keep saying the word to myself over and over as if saying it will help me make more sense of it.

"I...I--"

Before I can make up my mind on how I feel, the sound of a clock chiming can be heard nearby and disrupts my thoughts. I look towards another, nearby clock and realize that the time is getting late.

I look back towards the little girl and watch her yawn as she tucks herself more under her sheets. I smile slightly and sit up from the little girl's bed.

"I think it's time for bed," I say to the little girl.

The little girl agrees and says, "Thank you for everything you've done for me today, Ms. Maki."

The little girl's kindness and gratitude give me a warm feeling of accomplishment and hope.

"You're always welcome," I say happily.

I tuck the little girl into bed once again and kiss her on the forehead.

"Goodnight and sleep tight," I say to the little girl as I get up from her bedside.

"Goodnight Ms. Maki," says the little girl snuggling her pink bunny.

I walk out of the little girl's bedroom and into the main room of the orphanage.

I look at the clock on the wall and realize that it is time for me to go back to the apartment. Shuichi must be making dinner right now, I don't want to keep him or Himiko waiting.

I make sure that everything is put away in the main room before walking out the door, saying goodnight to the receptionist as I do so.

I walk through the darkness of the night towards the apartment. My mind goes over the conversation I had with the little girl once again. I keep replaying the part when she asked me if there was anyone that I loved. I know that I had feelings for Kaito...But, what are these other feelings inside of me? Something deep within my heart continues to get my attention. It tries to remind me of something. Something lost that wants to be found. Something meaningful and fulfilling. Time and time again, especially when I am around Shuichi, this feeling grows inside of my heart until it envelopes it completely. But the more I focus on trying to identify these feelings inside of me, the more confused I become.

I let out a sigh of frustration and continue towards the apartment feeling slightly defeated.  My thoughts become jumbled and I find it hard to concentrate. And it's because of this that I fail to recognize the two men dressed in long, black outfits that are stalking me in the darkness. Before I can react to anything one of the men grabs me from behind, wrapping one of his arms around my throat and the other around my abdomen. I try to break out of the man's grip, but I fail and am completely restrained by him. The other man punches me in the abdomen and face to get me to stop resisting. My cries as the man punches my body with great force are suppressed by the other man's grip around my neck. My vision becomes blurrier and the taste of blood starts to form inside my mouth and throat. After a few more strikes, the man stops punching me and stands before me. His body is completely covered with the outfit he wears. The only thing that is visible are his red, menacing eyes. The eyes of a true killer...The eyes of someone who is completely consumed with death and despair.

He looks me up and down, taking in every detail of my being.

"Is this her," asks the man to the other.

"It is," says the other man plainly.

The man looks me up and down and says, "Maki Harukawa...The one they call the "Ultimate Assassin." "

The man behind me releases his grip on my throat so I can breathe and speak. I cough and gag as I fight to catch my breath and as my body responds to the physical trauma I have just endured.

"What are you...Talking about," I ask still fighting to collect myself.

The man smirks and says, "Don't play dumb with us."

The man punches me across the face and sends my body tumbling down to the ground. I try to get up but am stopped as the man's heel digs into the back of my neck.

"We know all about you...Maki-roll," says the man tauntingly.

At the utterance of my nickname, especially by this disgusting man, I become filled with fury. With every fiber of my being, I try to stand up despite the man's heel pressing down against me. I inch my way off the ground, but as I do so the man retaliates. The man pulls out a knife from his pocket and stabs me in my lower back.

"That should keep you from trying to fight back," says the man satisfied with his work.

I let out an agonizing cry that reverberates throughout the darkness. As the pain only grows sharply throughout my body, and my screams fall on deaf ears, I am left with the defeating reality that I am completely at the mercy of these two men. No one is coming to save me.

I let my head hit the ground out of exhaustion. My right cheek digs into the gravel beneath me. The only sound to be heard is me gasping for breath on the cold, rough ground. I notice out of the corner of my eye that blood is starting to stain my already crimson clothing. Realizing this only causes the pain inside me to worsen as my resolve to fight back gets weaker and weaker.

Both men start to laugh in a condescending manner as they look down at me in my sorry state.

"You should know who we are already, Maki. Your past may be a fabrication, a nightmare, but I can assure you that we are all too real."

I lift my head a little to bring both men into my sight once more. My mind races for any clue to who these people are, but freezes as the hellish reality comes to my attention. My skin goes cold and I start to break out into a cold sweat. My vision blurs more and my head starts to throb.

"It...can't be," I gasp still in a daze.

"Indeed it is," the man says chuckling, "We are from the Holy Salvation Society."

It can't be true, I refuse to believe it. They...They're fake-- made up. Tsumugi just made them up.

"I guess you could chalk it up to lack of creativity. That bitch decided to use us in her twisted and sadistic series when she fabricated your past. She almost exposed us. But since you guys were able to kill her in the end, everyone has forgotten about us. Now we can kill just the way we like killing, flawlessly and away from any prying eyes."

I become petrified with fear and shock. Every part of me doesn't want to believe what I am hearing. This society, this cesspool of degenerates, are real. My mind shatters as I fail to comprehend what is real in my life and what is fake. Which parts of my life have been falsified and which parts are a reality? I start to become dizzy and start to go on the verge of passing out.

One of the men looks down at me and says, "I can't wait to see what you are capable of."

The other man laughs and says, "But before that, we're going to have a little fun with you first."

Both men forcefully pick me up off of the ground. My body hangs lifelessly as all of my energy drains out of me.

One of the men stares me dead in the eyes and says, "You know what happens next, don't you, Maki? You've been through it before in your "past," but this time it will finally be for real."

"...Torture," I gasp.

"You got that right," says the man feeling energized now that he has someone to victimize.

  
With the last of my energy and hope, I mutter a single person's name to the world around me hoping that somehow he can save me from this.

"Shuichi."

 

I'm carried for what seems like hours to an abandoned facility in the city's outskirts. As soon as we enter, the two men drop me onto the concrete floor. My head smacks against the ground, causing pain to surge throughout my head. The two men walk away, leaving me alone on the cold, hard floor. The knife wound in my back, and now the side of my head, bleed, staining the floor below me. I can feel the warm blood coat my arms and face as I writhe in pain on the floor. And just as soon as I think that it can't get any worse, it does. Someone different comes and picks me up by my shirt collar and drags me to a dark room. My knees and legs get cut and scrapped as they drag across the floor with every step the man takes. Finally, he throws me into a dark room and locks the door behind me.

  
What came next is something I'd sooner die than want to remember.

 

24 hours.

  
...24 hours of straight torture I had to endure. Not even Tsumugi's fabrication of my past experiences with the society could have prepared me for any of this. 24 hours of screaming and crying for help, 24 hours of tasting my own blood, 24 hours of hearing my bones crack one by one. I had nowhere to run, no one to save me, no hope of escape.

I lie face down in a pool of my own blood and excrement, dreading every second that I am left alive to endure such unceasing agony. I hear the door open and the sound of footsteps approaching me. Someone picks me up off of the ground and puts me into a chair in the middle of the room. I sit there lifeless and devoid of any energy. To jolt me awake, someone takes a bucket of ice water and throws it onto me. I gasp as the frigid water chills my whole body and shocks me to my senses. My teeth chatter as my body feels as if it is freezing. I watch as the blood that has soaked onto my skin and clothes washes off of me and onto the floor below, forming a puddle of crimson. I face forward to see a man walking towards me. He is holding what appears to be a file in his hands. The man grabs another chair and sits across from me.

"Wh-what do you want from me," I ask the man, trying to channel as much disgust and hatred towards him as possible.

The man leans forward towards me and says, "Your past may be fabricated, but you still have the mindset and skills of a trained assassin...We want you to work for us."

Despite the amount of pain that I am in I still, in what little energy I have left, find the ability to laugh.

"Work for you? What are you trying to pull? I'd rather die right here than do anything for the likes of you," I say with determination and willingness to die.

The man smiles and chuckles as if he wanted me to say those words to him. He reaches into the file and takes out a photograph.

This single photograph is the reason why I went through with their plans.

It's a picture of Shuichi.

I start to tense up. A mixture of desire, sadness, and anger fill up inside of me. I want nothing more than to go back to where Shuichi and Himiko are and resume our lives together once again.

"Shuichi," I mutter to myself, hoping that by just saying his name somehow, magically, he'll come and save me.

The man's tone turns serious as he says, "We're prepared to kill him at a moment's notice if you do not comply with us. Either you work for us, or we'll kill him."

The man gets up from his chair and turns around to walk out of the room.

To add insult to injury, he supplements his threat by saying, "Who knows, maybe instead of killing him outright we'll bring him back here and torture him in front of you until the both of you beg to die. Then we'll kill him in front of you and watch as any and all hope is permanently removed from your being for the rest of eternity."

The thought of losing Shuichi is too much for me to bear. It was clear what decision I had to make.

"I'll do it," I say with a cracking voice as I try to hold back tears.

The man turns around with a satisfied look on his face and throws the folder at my body. The folder smacks me in the face and falls to the floor in the puddle of blood. The picture of a man slides out from the inside of the folder and into the bloody puddle at my feet.

"You'll be heading out soon," says the man, "I expect a flawless performance from the "Ultimate Assassin." "

I don't say anything. Instead, I ingrain the image of my new target into my mind.

In my fabricated, past, life I killed more people than I could count. But now, in this hellish reality that I am in, I am going to kill for the first time in real life.

  
With each tick of the clock, I tense up more and more. Anxiety fills my entire body. My hands tremble and sweat drips off of my face. As soon as I am able to stand under my own power I pace around the room that I am in, unable to sit still. Then finally, the door opens.

"...It's time," I think to myself.

Every part of me wants to run away from this but the thought of any harm coming to Shuichi, especially because of me, is too much for me to bear. I'm completely at the mercy of the Holy Salvation Society. There's nothing that I can do.

I walk out of the room I am in and head towards the target's last known location.

Ordinarily, taking walks during the night is something that I embrace and enjoy. The atmosphere is calming, the gentle moonlight caresses your body, and it gives you the time to be calm and collect yourself. But tonight isn't an ordinary night. With every step that I take towards the city, the closer someone gets to death. I became the Ultimate Child Caregiver to bring hope to children that didn't have any. But now, I have to take the life of someone to selfishly save another. I curse fate and what it has done to me. Somewhere, out there, Monokuma is laughing at me-- embracing the despair that darkens my life in his black and white paws. His laugh resonates in the back of my mind and causes me to feel ill. But despite all that I feel, my body keeps taking me to my target.

As I approach the proximity where my target should be, it starts to drizzle. It's almost as if the world itself knew what was about to happen. Almost as if it was crying. Crying that someone had to die tonight at the hands of someone who wanted nothing more than to bring hope to the world.

And, unbeknownst to me at the time, it was almost as if the world was mourning the tragedy that would befall Shuichi after this event transpired.

I reluctantly scan the streets for the target. Since it has started raining, most of the people who were outside have now escaped the rain by going inside. However, my target remains among the people who decided to stay in the rain. My heart sinks as I see him. Any part of me that hoped that I was going to be unable to find the target has now been diminished. Now that I see him, I have to kill him.

With heavy footsteps and a heavy heart, I walk towards the target, making sure to stay in the shadows to avoid him from seeing me. Despite me being afraid and desperate, my assassin's instincts kick in. I formulate a plan to take this man out as quickly as possible and out of the sight of other people. I notice an alleyway close by, that should give me enough cover.

I have everything worked out. Now all that's left is for me to...Kill the target.

I approach the target from behind. I can't give myself a moment to think. If I think, I'll be too conscious of what I am doing. I have to do it...I have to do it.

I grit my teeth and pick up my left foot. I stomp on the back of the target's left leg so his leg arches forward, causing him to stumble. As the man stumbles forward I take my arms and wrap them around his neck. The man struggles and gasps for air. I walk back into the alleyway, dragging the man's body with me so no one can see us. With each step, the man struggles more and becomes more desperate as the life drains from his body. Each second that passes feels like an hour. And with each second, I become filled with more guilt and despair. By the time I reach the back of the alleyway my grip on the man's neck falters and he collapses backward. He falls to the ground and starts to catch his breath.

I take a few steps back from him. It's at this point that I start to cry. I clench my teeth to try to contain my emotions, but I fail to do so. The despair I feel inside my heart, the sadness I feel towards this whole ordeal, all of it starts to burst forth from my body in the form of extreme grief. The man doesn't notice this, and I don't blame him. I just tried to kill him...It's only fair that he tries to do the same to me. The man slowly gets up, and pulls a knife out of his pocket and points it at me.

Instead of being filled with fear, I am consumed with more sadness. This man has to die, I know it. But I don't want to kill him. But if I don't kill him, then Shuichi will die.

I can only shake my head in defeat and continue to cry bitter tears of despair.

All I can say is, "I'm sorry."

The man lunges the knife at me and my assassin's instincts kick in again. My hands deflect the knife attack, pushing the man's hands to the left. The man tries to keep stabbing me, desperately trying to make the slightest contact with me to exact his revenge for me trying to kill him.

With every swipe of his knife, I deflect his attack successfully. Until finally, I dislodge the knife out of his hand. I take the knife in my right hand and quickly grab the man's shirt collar with my left hand. I don't look into his eyes as I stab him in his lung. Instead, as the man's dead body falls towards me, I hug his body and cry into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I cry, "I'm so sorry." My cries turn into bawls as I hold the man's body in my arms.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry."

No matter how much I say it, it won't bring this man back to life. It won't erase what I have done. It won't wash my hands clean of his blood.

I pull the knife out of the man's chest and watch as his dead body falls to the floor. My whole body feels numb. I feel incredibly nauseous and want nothing more than to run away from all of this.

Everything around me is like a blur right now. I can't make sense of anything anymore. I just...want to give up.

The desire to turn the knife on myself and end this horrible nightmare grows inside of me. I would have done it, but once again I am indebted to HIM for saving me.

"M-Maki?!"

I recoil at the sound of his voice. I look around me in a daze thinking that it was just my imagination, but I quickly realize that it's not. As Shuichi emerges from the darkness of the shadows, I drop the knife I am holding out of fear and shame and take several steps back. Shuichi approaches the body and inspects it. Realizing that the man is dead, Shuichi turns his attention to me once more.

He takes a few steps towards me, and with each step that he takes, the more guilt and shame I feel inside of me.

No, Shuichi. Don't come any closer. You should stay away. Stay away from someone as vile and wretched as me. I'm nothing but a killer now. You hate killers. You took a vow to stop them as a detective. I am no different than them. Will you deliver justice to me? What are you going to do to me?

As Shuichi gets close to me, he whispers to me, "Why...Maki."

His voice is gentle and filled with concern and confusion. My mind races to try to collect myself in order to form some sort of a response, but I am unsuccessful. Shame and despair consume my every thought.

"You wouldn't understand," is all I can say to him.

Shuichi recoils as I say this to him, obviously hurt by what I said.

Out of desperation he shouts at me and yells, "You just killed someone Maki!"

The reality is too much for me to bear, and as a result, my grief turns to hatred. Hatred at the world, hatred at the society...Hatred at myself.

Unable to cope with it all, my hatred surfaces in my next words to Shuichi.

"Do you...want to die?"

Shuichi becomes shocked as I say this and only manages to stutter, "W-what," as a response.

Unable to control myself, I reach for Shuichi's shirt collar and grip it with my left hand. Consumed with terror, grief, and despair, I punch Shuichi in the face and send him flying towards the wall behind him. His body crashes against the wall and rolls several times on the ground before stopping. As his agonized face looks up at me, I can only stare in terror at what I had just done.

The person that I tried to save by killing this man...I am responsible for causing him pain.

And that is the worst feeling of all.

"Maki...Why."

His words cut through my heart and cause me to collapse to the ground in a fetal position. I cry once again, consumed with even more guilt and sadness than before. Through my tears, I can see Shuichi struggle to stand as he fights through the pain that I caused him. He stands unsteadily like he is about to collapse at any moment. He walks towards me heavily, each step draining what little stamina he has left remaining. And when he finally reaches me he collapses onto all fours. The rain on the ground splashes on both of us as Shuichi falls to the ground. As his body retaliates against him for trying to exert himself, Shuichi starts to gasp for more air. I don't look at him. I'm too ashamed to face him after something such as this. But instead of chastising me, Shuichi embraces me tightly. His body, despite being cold and wet, warms my heart. He nuzzles his face against my shoulder. This feeling...It feels so nostalgic to me. I know that we embraced like this just a few days ago, but...Something inside of me tries to remind me of a time not too long ago. I don't know what that memory is, but it brings a sense of completeness to me. I don't want him to let go of me. I want us to just stay like this, forever if possible. But I know it's only a matter of time before the society finds me.

Reluctantly I turn to Shuichi and say, "You can't stay here Shuichi. They're coming for me."

Shuichi, with a look of concern, lifts his head from my shoulder and says, "Who's coming for you?"

As if on cue, two of the clan members from the society appear as if from nowhere. They are wearing their usual, black garbs that cover their entire bodies. They approach the two of us, staring at us with their menacing, red eyes.

Shuichi looks up, surprised by the two men's sudden appearance, and asks, "Who...are you?"

The men ignore him and turn their attention to me. I may not be able to completely see their faces, but I can tell by their demeanor that they are not happy with me in the slightest.

"Sloppy work Maki," says one of the men, "I expected more from the Ultimate Assassin."

That title that has been forced upon me is like a stigma; It sends bitterness throughout my body like a venom. I lower my head to try to avoid looking at the men who have doomed my life. But that only causes them to react violently.

The man grabs me by my shirt and lifts me up in the air.

He stares at me with his menacing eyes and screams, "ANSWER ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU, BITCH."

I grip his hands in an attempt to break his hold on me, but he is too strong.

Mocking my pitiful attempt to try to break free, the man brings his face closer to mine and hisses, "defy me at your own risk."

After the man says that, he throws me against the wall of the alleyway. My back crashes into the wall and sends pain throughout my body. I fall forward and hit my face on the ground, causing me to bleed from my nose and mouth. I try desperately to get up to avoid being attacked again, but I'm not fast enough. The man glides over to me and stomps on my right hand with his foot. With his other foot, he proceeds to kick me in my stomach and chest. With each kick, I can feel my bones become weaker and more traumatized. Blood starts to collect in my throat and starts to drip out of my mouth and nose. My clothes become torn, tattered, and stained with blood and dirt. I notice out of the corner of my eye that Shuichi tries to get up. But the other man beats him down, preventing him from coming to my rescue. The man eventually stops kicking me and stands over me. I gasp for air as my whole body suffers trauma and agony. Blood continues to trickle out of my mouth and stains the ground near me. I can barely move. All I can do is look up at my assailant and hope that he doesn't kill me.

The man crouches down near me and says, "Don't forget who you work for and what our demands are. Enjoy this little reprieve right now Maki, but do a sloppy job again on the next assignment and we will do more than just beat you down."

I know exactly what he is going to do. My eyes wander to Shuichi, who is looking at me with a face of concern and fear. They're going to kill him if I don't comply. I'll have no choice but to continue killing for the society...Probably forever. Any hopes and dreams I have of a better life are now gone.

This is my world now...My hell...My despair.

The man stands up and says to me, "We'll be expecting you at the park tomorrow night. Try to run and we will hunt you down to the ends of the Earth and kill you."

Oh...Dying, right now, would be so much better than continuing to work for a group such as the society. I would rather die than continue to kill people.

Both men walk out of the alleyway, leaving Shuichi and me alone in the bloody rain that covers us both. Shuichi, not wasting any time, tries to get up from where the other man beat him down. But as soon as he tries to stand up, he falls back down to the ground again in writhing pain. But Shuichi remains determined, determined to make his way over to my broken body. Shuichi crawls on his hands and feet and slowly, but surely, makes his way over to me. As he approaches my body he places his right hand over mine and firmly grips it, trying to grant me any and every kind of reassurance possible. I can only stare into his eyes, the eyes of the person who has always been there for me and cared for me.

"Shuichi," I say to him in a muttered, gentle way.

Shuichi looks at me with a face of determination and says to me, "I'm going to get us out of here Maki. I promise."

Almost everything in my life so far has been a lie or a fabrication. But Shuichi's words...I know they are truthful.

Shuichi, still fighting through the pain, tries again to stand up. Almost like last time, he struggles to stand up even halfway. But as he looks at me he discovers new energy and strength and is able to stand under his own power. I can only look on in amazement as Shuichi fights to save me. Shuichi takes a few steps towards me and holds out his arms. He crouches down beside me and slides his arms underneath my body. He grits his teeth hard and lets out a scream as he picks me up off of the ground. Now suspended in the air, blood, water, and dirt drip off of my body and onto the ground below me. My long, brown hair almost touches the ground, and my hands and feet dangle in the air. My head rests against Shuichi's right arm, and my eyes connect with his. His grey eyes draw me in and bring me feelings of reassurance and hope. Shuichi stares back at me. His expression is gentle and caring. It's the kind of expression someone would give their significant other. A look of love...A look that says, "I'll always be there for you, no matter what happens."

But as I stare into Shuichi's eyes, I start to get a feeling of anxiety from him. As I stare into his eyes longer those feelings of anxiety also manifest feelings of fear, uncertainty, and heartbreak.

"What's...wrong," I ask still breathing heavily from the trauma I endured.

Those dark feelings immediately vanish as Shuichi chuckles and stares into my eyes again.

"Everything will be okay, I promise Maki. I promise I'll take care of you," says Shuichi confidently.

  
I believe you Shuichi...I know you'll take care of me.

  
Shuichi starts to walk, with me in his arms, out of the alleyway. He staggers on his first few steps but manages to find the strength to continue. Right before we leave, however, Shuichi stops and looks towards the ground in concern. His eyes rest on the bloody knife that sits on the ground near the dead body. Shuichi bites his lip as he thinks about what to do. Eventually, he bends down and picks up the bloody knife and puts it in his pocket. Immediately after, Shuichi hastens his pace and strides out of the alley and into the main street. As he rushes down the sidewalk the rain starts to pick up and soaks us even more than before. Blood and dirt from both of our bodies drip off of us as the rain drenches us. Not long after leaving the alleyway police sirens can be heard in the distance, undoubtedly due to the crime that I committed not too long ago.

Shuichi quickens his pace and says, "They must have found the body,"

A rush of anxiety attacks my body as the thought of the police hunting me down enters my mind.

Sensing my concern, Shuichi looks down at me and says, "Don't worry. I took the knife with me. They won't know that you were there."

Shuichi took a vow when he became a detective to stop all crime and bring criminals to justice. And now, he purposefully tampered with a crime scene to make sure that I would stay safe. He went against everything that he stands for...For me.

Shuichi rushes back to our apartment and strides up the stairs as fast as he can. He opens the door to the apartment and we are greeted by Himiko, who waits desperately at the dining room table for us.

"Nyeeeeh," squeals Himiko, "Where have you been Shuichi?!"

It takes a moment for Himiko to register what she sees in front of her. Himiko's eyes slowly take in the sight before her. And as her eyes rest on me, she starts to panic.

"M-M-Maki?! What happened to you?!"

Shuichi, not wasting any time, says urgently to Himiko, "Himiko, please open Maki's bedroom door for me."

Himiko rushes over to my bedroom door and opens it for Shuichi. As soon as it opens Shuichi rushes inside. He turns on the light and places me gently on my bed. Curious about my condition, he takes in the sight of my traumatized body and thinks about what to do next.

The pain that I feel, along with the comfortable feeling of my bed supporting me, causes my eyes to become heavy. With barely any energy left in me, I pass out on my bed.

And that night was the first night in a long time where I had a dream.

* * *

I find myself standing in a field at night. Everything around me is quiet and at peace. The night sky is the clearest I have ever seen it in my entire life. The numerous stars in the sky and the gentle, full, moon cradle the Earth and everything on it from up above. The grass beneath my feet is long and flows in the gentle breeze, tickling my legs. I walk around in the field, trying my best not to disturb the tranquility of the atmosphere around me. My feet gently crunch the ground with every step that I take. I extend my right hand to my side and let the tall grass brush against my delicate fingers. This is...Strange. I've never felt so at peace before. I close my eyes and let the world absorb me into its harmonious embrace. As I close my eyes, I can hear the sounds of footsteps approaching me from behind.

"Maki-roll."

I open my eyes in surprise and turn around quickly. Standing before me, wearing his usual clothing and giving me his usual, cool smile, is the one person in my life that I thought I would never see again-- the person who taught me what it meant to live a normal life.

"Kaito," I shout surprised. I rush over to him and embrace him tightly. Kaito uses the arm that he doesn't put into his jacket to hug me.

Kaito chuckles and says, "It's good to see you again Maki-roll, although, I wish it were under better circumstances."

I let go of Kaito, look up at him, and ask, "You're not alive are you?"

Kaito's expression turns serious as he says, "No. Far from it actually. But the fact of the matter is I'm only here temporarily."

Kaito turns to me, still holding his serious expression and says, "I'm here to talk to you about something...And, I'm also here to warn you."

My heart starts to beat faster and my mind starts to race. Kaito very rarely in the past showed his serious side. And when he shows it, we all knew that it was because he had something serious to talk about.

Kaito walks past me and I follow him. We walk about 100 feet until we reach a patch of grass that is shorter than the rest of the grass around it. Kaito and I sit in the patch of grass and look at the stars together, taking in their magnificent and awesome beauty. A wave of nostalgia hits me as I am reminded of the days that Kaito, Shuichi, and I sat in the courtyard of the academy in Danganronpa and looked up at the stars together.

Kaito, sharing the same feeling, says, "Just like old times."

I smile and say gently, "Yeah...Just like old times."

I look over to my side at Kaito again still in disbelief that I am sitting here with him, if only for a little while. I look over slightly to the left of Kaito and recall the times when Shuichi used to spend time with the two of us. A small void forms in my heart as the memories of when Shuichi stopped spending time with us flood my mind.

Kaito, picking up on this, turns to me and says, "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about, Maki."

I turn to Kaito and listen to what he has to say about Shuichi.

"The truth is, Maki...Shuichi," Kaito takes a deep breath before continuing, "Shuichi is suffering."

My heart sinks at the thought of Shuichi going through something so painful and desperate.

"I thought it was just because Kaede had died, but the more time I spent with him the more I realized that this was not the case."

I'm surprised at what Kaito is saying.

"What could cause so much suffering inside of Shuichi," I ask Kaito genuinely curious and concerned.

  
Kaito looks at me and says, "Shuichi loves you."

  
I lightly gasp at Kaito's words. That strange, yet nostalgic, feeling enters into my heart and mind again from before. My cheeks burn red and my heart flutters. My breathing slightly picks up due to this sudden rush of emotions that I feel.

Kaito gently smiles at me and says, "And I'm willing to bet that you love him too."

I become even more flustered than before. "Y-You idiot," I say to Kaito shyly, "That's not true. If there's anyone that I have feelings for its--"

I stop mid-sentence, suddenly becoming self-conscious of what I am saying. All of these emotions that I feel...I don't understand them. They don't make any sense.

Kaito, half smiling, says, "Your feelings for me show that you have grown out of your shell and have started to gain what makes you human again. Your humanity-- what you lost when you were forced to become an assassin as a kid, you have started to gain that back."

Kaito pauses, recalling memories from the distant past, and says, "But there's more to what you feel than you think there is, Maki.  Actually, I'm willing to bet that there is another person that your heart is set on."

"What are you talking about, Kaito," I ask confused.

Kaito closes his eyes and asks, "Do you remember the night that we worked out for the first time without Shuichi, Maki?"

The memory vividly comes to me and I say, "Yes," in response.

"Did you ever find out where Shuichi went that night," asks Kaito.

I remember seeing Shuichi walking through the courtyard, trying his best not to be seen. And I also remember him walking towards the area where the love hotel and casino are, but I never found out what happened to Shuichi that night.

"No," I say in a simple response, still thinking about the whole ordeal.

Kaito nods and says, "Then that means you probably never saw what he wore around his neck after the next day."

"No, I never saw," I say trying to remember if I ever saw Shuichi wearing a necklace.

Kaito looks forward and stares into space. "I haven't known Shuichi for too long but I can tell when he is happy and when something is bothering him."

Kaito pauses for a moment and then says, "And the times that I can say for certain that Shuichi was the happiest that he could ever be was when he was with you. And his necklace is the literal "key" to his locked heart...And you are the only one that can unlock it."

"I...I." I can't finish a sentence, let alone come up with one in response to what I have just heard. Shuichi...Loves me? Shuichi loves me and he kept it a secret this whole time? And not only that, why did he start avoiding Kaito and I completely in Danganronpa?

I have more questions than answers right now, and Kaito picks up on them.

"Shuichi loved you more than anyone else in his life. But when he saw you starting to get closer to me, he couldn't handle what it was doing to his heart. And as a result of Shuichi being Shuichi, always putting others before himself, instead of acting on his feelings he decided to try to suppress them as best as he could. And somewhere along the line Monokuma must have tried to use Shuichi's feelings for you to his advantage and hurt him even more as a result."

The more Kaito speaks, the sadder I become. Shuichi...You kept this all to yourself for this long? You were in this much pain this long and you didn't tell anyone? ...You loved me this long and you didn't tell me?

Kaito looks at me and smiles. "Maki...Do you love Shuichi?"

I only stare into space and mutter his name as a response. "Shuichi..."

"Your feelings for me are not what you think they are because...What you feel is not affection towards me, it's towards Shuichi."

I turn to Kaito still perplexed at everything that I am hearing.

"Do you remember what you felt the morning after you and I worked out alone for the first time"?

My mind wanders to when I woke up that morning and recalls the strange, yet wonderful feelings that nestled inside of my heart and soul. I remember cradling my body as if I spent the night holding the person of my dreams as close to my heart as possible. I remember the feeling I felt inside my heart. It felt like little butterflies were dancing around inside of me; their gentle wings fluttering against me.

These powerful and fulfilling emotions...Is this what true love is?

Kaito smiles and closes his eyes. "Those feelings you felt that morning, and still feel to this day, they didn't come about by accident."

"Where did they come from then," I ask Kaito still embracing the feelings inside of me.

"All I can say is that night, for both you and Shuichi, was a very special night. And I can guarantee you that he hasn't forgotten about it. ...He won't let himself forget for the rest of his life."

I don't know what Kaito is talking about. Did I spend a night with Shuichi?

"What are you talking about, Kaito," I ask him puzzled.

Kaito stands up from where he was sitting this whole time and says, "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll remember one day. And I'm sure that is going to be the day that you and Shuichi will both be able to enjoy life together."

I stand up and face Kaito fully.

He looks into my eyes and says, "It's just about time for me to go."

I react with a mixture of surprise and sadness.

"Do you have to leave so soon," I ask Kaito, a sense of loneliness taking root inside of my heart.

Kaito nods and says, "Unfortunately, whether I like it or not, my time on Earth is over. I find rest now with the stars above. So every time you can see the stars at night, be sure to think about me and the rest of us that didn't make it through Danganronpa."

I start to feel much sadder and say to Kaito, "It's...It's not fair."

Kaito walks over to me and places one of his hands on my shoulder.

"Don't be like that Maki-roll. You still have Shuichi and Himiko with you. And I know that the three of you are going to fulfill all of the dreams of our friends that couldn't make it to the end. The dream of bringing true hope to the whole world."

Kaito's words linger inside of me and reinvigorate me. I look up at him, brushing a small tear from my right eye away, and nod with a smile.

Kaito nods approvingly and starts to walk away.

"Take care of Shuichi for me. God knows what the heck he's going through right now. And something tells me that this won't be the end of it. You're the only one that can save him, Maki."

I smile at Kaito as he walks away.

And with that, the world around me starts to fade into a sea of white.

And just as the landscape before me disappears, I slowly open my eyes and briefly awaken from my slumber.

* * *

 

The faint light from the early morning sun shines through my window and warmly illuminates my bedroom. I notice that the pain in my body has, for the most part, gone away. I lift up my left arm and gently clench my hand, testing out my new found strength. I notice that my visible wounds on my hands and arms are healing quickly and look as if someone had treated them. I try to move my right hand but realize that something is resting on top of it. I move my head slowly to the right and see Shuichi resting at my bedside. He lies crouched on his knees while he rests his head on top of his arms. His right hand is resting on top of mine as if at some point he was holding my hand while I slept.

As I look at Shuichi, I am reminded of the dream that I had with Kaito. Everything that Kaito told me about how Shuichi feels, and what he's been going through, all start coming back to me.

I gently close my right hand and intertwine my fingers with Shuichi's. Shuichi's hands are firmer than mine, but they're still soft and remind me how much of a gentle person he is. I take my left hand and run it through Shuichi's hair. His soft, blue hair envelopes my hand as I gently caress his head. Shuichi continues to breathe softly as I do this. As I look at his sleeping face I feel a completeness in myself. Almost as if the one thing that I have been looking for all of my life is now here with me. I tighten my grip on Shuichi's hand slightly as this realization comes to me.

I find myself becoming more and more comfortable with these, still unusual, feelings that rest inside of my heart. There's still a lot I don't understand, but there is one thing that I do know for sure right now.

"I don't want to let you go, Shuichi," I think to myself.

I tighten my grip on Shuichi's hand once more and close my eyes once again.

  
But it seems like whenever I tightly hold onto something it's taken away from me. And that is exactly what happened later that night.

  
The sun shines through my window and onto my face, waking me with a warm feeling on my skin. I open my eyes and look around my room again. As I look to the right I notice that Shuichi isn't there anymore. He must have woken up before me. I start to sit up in bed. My body still feels sore and aches all over. I hold out my arms in front of me. They are still bruised, but the cuts and scrapes that used to be there have almost completely cleared up. I fold back the sheets of my bed and look at the condition of my legs. I Notice that they too are healing very quickly. I place my right hand over my abdomen and press it down in several spots. Nothing feels broken and there isn't as much pain as I thought there would be. I place my arm down and wonder how it is that I was able to heal so quickly. Normally wounds like this take days, if not weeks, to heal significantly. Which means someone must have dressed my wounds while I was sleeping. It doesn't take me long to realize who it must have been.

"Shuichi," I quietly say to the air around me. He must have taken care of me while I was asleep.

As if on cue, the sound of light knocking can be heard on my bedroom door. Shuichi slowly opens the door and smiles as he sees that I am awake.

He walks over to me and asks, "How are you feeling, Maki," in a very gentle tone.

I smile in response to his kindness and genuine concern for me and reply, "I'm feeling better today, thank you."

The both of us go silent and stare into each other's eyes for a short while. Waves of calm flow through me and make me forget all about the pain that still pulsates in my body. I get lost in Shuichi's grey eyes and recall last night's dream.

"Shuichi," I think to myself, "You really love me don't you?"

As I start to lose myself completely in my euphoric emotions, something brings me back to reality. As I look into Shuichi's eyes, I sense a deep mixture of longing and desire, but also despair and heartbreak. It's saddening and almost overwhelming.

Before I have time to think on it more, Shuichi breaks eye contact with me temporarily. He looks down for a moment and blinks a few times, almost as if he is trying to suppress pain.

He looks back up at me and asks, "Are you hungry, Maki? I made you breakfast just in case you were."

I cast my thoughts about Shuichi's emotions to the side. I haven't eaten in at least two days, and thinking about food causes my stomach to hurt, reminding me that I am hungry.

I look at Shuichi and say, "Yes, Shuichi. Thank you."

Shuichi smiles and nods. He gets up from my bedside and walks into the kitchen. After a few moments, Shuichi comes back carrying a tray with a plate of food and orange juice in a glass. The smell of this delicious meal captivates me and pushes me to eat. The food is cooked perfectly and starts to satisfy my hunger immediately. I remember when we first moved into this apartment. None of us knew how to cook that well, so Shuichi volunteered to learn to be able to provide for us. I would always catch him reading different books on cooking and food preparation He always looked so serious and absorbed into what he was doing. And it didn't take him long to be able to cook wonderful meals just like this one. Himiko and I have certainly appreciated all of Shuichi's hard work so far.

I finish my breakfast rather quickly and feel satisfied afterward

Shuichi smiles as he sees that I have finished my meal and says, "I hope you enjoyed, Maki. I'll check in on you regularly to bring you anything that you may need."

I smile and thank Shuichi sincerely for all that he has done for me so far. Shuichi takes the tray from my lap and walks out of my bedroom, closing the door gently behind him. Now feeling full, my body starts to feel drowsy once more and I find myself falling asleep once again. I nuzzle my head into my pillow and stare up at the ceiling. My mind races once again about Shuichi and the dream that I had last night. I start to think of all of the times that Shuichi and I have spent together from Danganronpa up until now. Even when Kokichi exposed my identity as an assassin to everyone, Shuichi didn't shy away from me like almost everyone else did. Instead, he invited me into his life with open arms and an open heart. I never thought that someone could ever fall in love with me...Until now that is.

But it doesn't matter in the end...Because after tonight I won't be here anymore. I think about those two men and how they'll be expecting me at the park later tonight. My stomach becomes tighter and I start to feel a sense of despair. I don't want to go...But I have to. For Shuichi and Himiko's sake, I have to go...Even if it means that I'll never live a "normal" life ever again. What will Shuichi and Himiko do when I have to leave? Will they miss me? Will they cry? Will they try to prevent me from going back to the clan?

  
Despite the stress that builds up in my chest from just thinking about my impending doom, I fall asleep for the last time before nightfall. As I rest, I start to have a nightmare. I find myself standing in the same, green pasture as in my previous dream where I saw Kaito. Except this time, I see Shuichi standing in the distance. I start to run over to him as soon as I see him. But when I get close to him, I freeze up. Shuichi stands looking down at the ground crying.

"Shuichi," I say with a confused tone.

Shuichi doesn't react. Instead, he continues to cry. Eventually, he wipes his tears away and tries to compose himself as best as he can. He slowly raises his head and looks into my eyes.

"Maki," Shuichi says heavily, "There's so much I want to say, but time is short and I can't stay long."

I start to feel on edge. Why is Shuichi speaking to me in a way that seems like he won't be around for much longer?

Shuichi clutches at his chest and says something heartbreaking.

"Even though I know that you don't love me back, I still love you with all of my heart."

"Sh-Shuichi," I say shocked, "Wh-What are you saying?"

Shuichi doesn't acknowledge what I say. Instead, he continues to speak.

"Maki...I made a promise to you before we left Danganronpa that I would put an end to your hellish nightmare. Tonight, I'm going to do just that. I'm going to fulfill my promise to you, my love."

"Love," I say still in awe at what Shuichi is saying, "Your...love."

As a flurry of emotions overtakes me, I hold out my arms and try to hold onto Shuichi. I take several steps forward trying to make any sort of contact with him. But as I close my arms and try to hug Shuichi, his body disappears. Unable to stop my momentum, I fall forward onto my face in the grass. I pick myself up off of the ground and look around. The calm atmosphere around me starts to shift and becomes more desolate and ruined. The blue sky starts to turn black, and strong gusts of wind start to tear through the once calm world. I desperately look around me to try to find Shuichi. As I do so, lightning starts to strike above. One of the bursts of lightning strikes a nearby tree and causes it to catch on fire. The fire starts to spread into the grass below and causes the nearby foliage to burn rapidly. The world around me starts to become devastated. It almost seems apocalyptic.

As I try to see through the chaos and destruction, I notice Shuichi in the distance. His clothes are tattered, and he is looking down at the ground. I rush over to him, but I regret it immediately. Shuichi slowly looks up at me, but he has completely changed. His eyes are red and almost seem demonic. His body is covered in blood and scars.

In his right hand he clutches a large knife, and in his left hand, he carries the dead and gruesome body of Kaito.

My body freezes up and I can only bring my hands to my face as I fail to comprehend what is happening all around me. Shuichi looks up at me with the eyes of a cold and heartless killer. He holds out the slashed up body of Kaito and tosses it towards me. His body rolls in the grass towards me, staining the once green grass a deep crimson color. I collapse to my knees, unable to take the pain anymore.

I look up at Shuichi and say agonizingly, "What have you done, Shuichi?"

Shuichi only laughs maniacally and says, "I did the world a favor."

This...This can't be happening. No, this isn't real! I won't believe it!!

I try to deny everything that I am seeing and hearing. I place my hands over my ears and shut my eyes, trying to shut the world around me out. But it's no use.

"Well, well."

The voice of someone I recognize all too well rings in my ears. I look up to see Korekiyo appear from behind Shuichi. His long, black hair blows to the side in the wind, and his yellow eyes pierce into my soul.

Korekiyo starts to laugh and says, "My oh my, what a predicament you have found yourself in, Ms. Failed Assassin."

Korekiyo's taunts unsettle me and cause me to become bitter.

"Perhaps saying, "I told you so," would be too cliche and rather boring," Korekiyo continues, "So instead, I'm going to let this utterly desperate situation speak for itself."

Korekiyo seductively walks over to Shuichi and, from behind him, crosses his arms around Shuichi and rests his chin on Shuichi's right shoulder.

Korekiyo runs his fingers over Shuichi's cheek and says, "Such a beautiful boy you are, Shuichi. It's such a shame that Maki didn't care to heed my warning. Instead, she walked down a foolish and selfish path, indulging her false desires in a boy who didn't feel the same way about her."

I grit my teeth and shout at Korekiyo. "That's not true!!"

Korekiyo snickers and says, "Oh, but it is my dear Maki. Or are you going to tell me that you didn't have your eyes set on Kaito's heart, completely abandoning the one person who loved you more than life itself?"

I don't respond. Despair and agony overtake me, crippling my ability to fight back in any way.

Korekiyo takes this as a sign of my defeat and says, "There's only one thing you can do now, Maki."

I simply look up at Korekiyo, my body feeling heavier and heavier with each passing moment.

Korekiyo clutches onto Shuichi tighter and says, "Watch him, and the world around him, BURN."

As Korekiyo finishes his sentence, the world starts to crumble and fade away. Fear and panic start to consume me, and I scream as loud as I can as Korekiyo, Shuichi, and I fade into the oblivion around us.

I suddenly awaken in my bed, completely covered in sweat from the nightmare I just had. I clutch my bedsheets tightly and breathe heavily to try to calm myself down in any way that I can. I place my right hand over my face and rub my eyes. Even though it was a dream, what I witnessed keeps replaying vividly in my mind. Kaito's dead body, Korekiyo taunting me, and Shuichi...

I let out a deep sigh as reality starts to set in once again. I look over to my window and see that it is well into the night now. Only the dim lights from the street and the nearby park shine through my window, gently illuminating my room slightly. It must be time for me to leave for the park soon. I heavily get up from my bed and walk towards my bedroom door. Moderate, yet manageable, pain can still be felt throughout my body. I open my bedroom door and walk into the dimly lit kitchen. I notice that the time is 9:15, which means that I have to leave soon. I shut my eyes, hoping that somehow the world around me will fade away so I don't have to go back to my life as an assassin. But there's nothing I can do except say goodbye to Shuichi and Himiko one last time.

I turn and walk towards Shuichi's room, anxiety growing inside of me with every step that I take. What will he say to me? How will he react? And what about his feelings for me? ...What should I do?

These questions flood my mind as I gently knock on Shuichi's bedroom door and open it. As I turn on the bedroom light I am surprised to see that he is not in his room. Normally at an hour like this Shuichi would be reading a book in bed. Seeing him not here is a little unsettling. I close his door and walk back into the kitchen. The apartment is dark and seemingly desolate.

"Where has everyone gone," I think to myself.

I listen for sounds indicating that anyone else might be in the apartment and hear very faint sounds of someone crying in the distance. I suddenly start to rush towards the source and find myself standing in front of Himiko's bedroom. The door is slightly ajar, and through it, I can hear Himiko whimpering. I quickly push the door open and see Himiko curled up on top of her bed unable to contain herself.

"Himiko," I say in surprise and urgency, "What's wrong?!"

Himiko is surprised by my appearance and tries her best to hide her feelings by covering her face with her black witch's hat.

"M-Maki," Himiko says surprised, "Are you f-feeling b-b-better?"

Himiko tries hard to suppress her cries as she tries to hide under her hat, but it's easy to tell that she is distraught about something, to say the least. But her wanting to hide how she is feeling is suspicious to me.

"I'm feeling much better thanks to Shuichi's help..."

At the mention of his name, Himiko's demeanor returns to devastated and she begins to cry once again. I instinctively reach out and hug Himiko as tight as possible, still not knowing why she is so upset in the first place.

"What's wrong Himiko did something happen," I ask somewhat anxiously.

Himiko shakes her head and says, "H-He told me not to s-say a-anything."

"Who did," I ask Himiko confused.

"Sh-Shuichi," Himiko says in between cries.

My stomach feels like it's being tied into knots and my heart starts to race. Something is going on and based on how Himiko is asking I can only assume that it is serious.

"Himiko, tell me...What happened to Shuichi," I ask starting to panic.

Himiko stays silent for a little bit, but eventually caves and reveals to me Shuichi's grand scheme and the most shocking news that I have ever received in my life.

"Shuichi said that members of an assassin clan were after you and that they were going to take you away from us. He said that they were expecting you at the park tonight and that you couldn't refuse to go. So..."

Himiko trails off and starts to get emotional again.

The more I hear though, the more anxious I become until I interrupt Himiko and ask, "Himiko," I ask breathing heavily from the despair that is starting to form inside of me, "What happened to Shuichi?!"

Tears start to trickle down Himiko's face again as she says, "Shuichi said that he was going to go to the park in your stead...He said that he was going to offer himself to the assassin clan in exchange for your freedom."

Everything around me stops and goes silent as Himiko tells me the truth about what Shuichi has done. I can only stare wide-eyed at Himiko as horror and shock consume me. Tears start to trickle down my cheeks and drip onto my hands and lap. My heart feels like it has stopped and my body feels dead cold. My skin starts to turn pale. It's almost as if someone was rapidly draining the life out of me.

This can't be...No, it just can't be true!!

Without thinking I quickly sit up from Himiko's bedside and bolt for the door.

As I approach her door, Himiko shouts at me and asks, "Where are you going, Maki?"

In a frenzy, I turn to Himiko and say desperately, "I'm going to bring Shuichi back."

Himiko desperately tries to stop me by shouting, "No, Maki-- You can't!! You can't bring him back!!"

I don't want to hear any of it.

I run out of Himiko's room and to the door that leads to the stairwell. But before I run out of the apartment, I notice the knife that Shuichi took from the crime scene sitting near the edge of the sink. I grab it, just in case I need to fight those men, and I run out of the apartment. I rush down the stairs and into the coldness of the night. I look around fervently until I find the park and start to run as fast as I can towards it. Tears drip out of my eyes and trail off of my cheeks and into the air as I run to the park. With every step that I take, I try desperately to cling onto to the one piece of hope that I have left in my life. Everything I've ever tried to hold onto has been taken away from me...But not now. I can't let him go.

I can't let another person be taken away from me again.

Desperation takes over me and I sprint into the park. My whole body aches, my lungs are on fire, and my chest hurts. I fight through the pain with whatever hope I have left. I look around the park, trying to find any signs of Shuichi, until finally...I see him. The two men pick up Shuichi off of the ground and prepare to take him away.

But there's still time. There's still a chance...

Right?

  
"Shuichi," I cry desperately.

The two men look at me with taunting looks, almost as if they were expecting me to show up. Shuichi, on the other hand, slowly looks up at me with a somewhat surprised, and maniacal, expression.

"M-Maki, what are you doing here?"

There's so much I want to say and do right now which causes my thoughts to become jumbled.

Before I can formulate a complete thought, one of the assassins says condescendingly, "Hey look, it's the former, failed assassin."

"What do you mean former," I ask sharply.

"You don't seem to understand," says the other man, "we have no need of you anymore. This poor fool just gave his life away in exchange for your freedom."

I become fearful that what Himiko told me has come to pass. But I don't want to believe that Shuichi would go so far as to sacrifice himself for my sake.

"S-Shuichi, what is he talking about?"

It can't be true, Shuichi. I beg for it to not be true. Tell me that you won't do this.

But my world shatters as Shuichi utters the last words I heard him say in a long time.

  
"I'm going to fulfill my promise to you, my love."

  
Nothing could have prepared me for this. Kaito's words, Korekiyo's warning...I didn't listen to any of them. And now...I'm going to pay the price for my foolishness. Once again someone precious in my life is going to be taken from me.

The two men prop Shuichi up and start to take him away. My sight blurs and my hearing stops. All I can focus on is the person whose love for me is immense. And because of it, he is going to sacrifice his life for me.

It's too much for me to bear. Not only do I not deserve Shuichi's love, but knowing that he is going to suffer, and possibly die, for my sake is too much. I can't let him do it, I have to get him back!

I run after the men, my right arm outstretched hoping for any sort of contact with Shuichi. But my injuries prevent me from running fast enough and I start to lose them. It's no use...I can't catch up. As this fact grabs hold of me, I trip over my feet and fall onto my knees.

I can only watch and scream as Shuichi disappears...Most likely forever.

"SHUICHIIIIIIIIIIIII---"

Tears fall from my eyes as I scream at the top of my lungs. My throat burns from screaming, and despair floods through my veins. I can only collapse to the ground and bawl as the hopelessness of everything converges into me. I feel an utter, crushing agony in me and around me. And as a result, all I can do is scream and cry as I kneel devastated on the ground. Then as if by magic the knife that I brought with me from the apartment falls out of my pocket and onto the ground next to me. Through my blurred vision from my tears, I look down at the knife, the blade's gleam from the night sky trancing me.

What else do I have left? What else can happen to me? I have nothing else. ...There is no hope.

I take the knife in my right hand and stare at it for a short while. The despair inside of me creeps throughout my body and mind and seductively whispers into my ear, "Nothing left...You have failed...Just...Die."

"Y-You're right," I mutter in a trembling voice.

I grip the knife with both of my hands and stare at it. My devastated expression can be seen reflecting off of the sharp, steel blade. I turn the knife upside down and hold it inches away from the left side of my abdomen. I bite my lip, fully aware of what I am about to do, and cry more.

I can't go on...Not after all that has happened.

I press the knife against my abdomen until a piercing, fiery pain stings in my side. But the pain only seduces me to continue. The blade slowly and painfully cuts through my clothing and flesh as I press the knife handle into my body. I let out painful cries in reaction, but find myself unable to stop.

"I deserve this," I keep telling myself, "I deserve this. This is all my fault."

Blood soaks my clothing and drips onto the cobblestone beneath me. My hands are soaked in crimson, and a pain beyond measure consumes me. I would have kept going, and probably would have died, if she didn't stop me.

"NO, MAKI!! STOP!"

Himiko sprints towards me with a ghastly expression on her face. Her witch's hat flies off of the top of her head and lands on the ground behind her. She runs up to me and clutches at my hands to try to stop me from plunging the knife further into my body.

Himiko's tears drip onto my hands and mix with my blood.

She can only stare at me in horror at what I have done.

"What have you done, Maki? Why...Why did you do this to yourself?"

What other reason is there? "It's all my fault...It's all my fault," I gasp and cry to Himiko.

I look up at her with tearful sobs and say, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry."

Himiko's despair only worsens and she cries even more. "It's not your fault, Maki. This isn't your fault."

I start to lose myself and snap at Himiko. "OF COURSE IT IS!"

Himiko flinches and looks at me with surprise.

I fight through the burning sensation in my throat and continue. "If I only paid attention more...If I only cared enough, none of this would have happened."

Himiko falls into me and rests her forehead on my left shoulder and continues to cry with me. The two of us remain like this for a while; Crouched on the ground alone in the darkness of the night, sitting in a puddle of blood and tears.

Eventually, Himiko whispers in my left ear, "Come on Maki, let's go home."

Himiko puts my arm over her shoulder and slowly brings me off of the ground. The knife slips from our hands and falls to the ground into the puddle of blood, causing a splash that stains our skin even further. My wound is severe, but not fatal. The blood has ceased to flow from my wound, but any strenuous activities will cause the slit in my abdomen to tear and bleed further.

I place my right hand over it and press down firmly.

"I'll be okay," I mutter to Himiko in a lifeless fashion.

Even if I wasn't going to be okay, I would have said that anyway. Whatever pain I feel, whatever abuse I sustain, at this point I probably deserve it all. I don't deserve to live, nor do I want to, and if Himiko wasn't here with me there's a good chance I would have died tonight.

I don't remember getting back to the apartment that night. My only recollection of that night after leaving the park with Himiko is collapsing onto my bed, staining my bed sheets with my blood.

The next day, and every day for a while, was the same, desperate loop over and over again. I started spending most of the day in my room, not wanting to leave my bed for anything. I would simply stare blankly out the window and relive that night over and over again in my mind. Himiko tried to find hope for us but eventually started to succumb to the crippling, desperate atmosphere. Himiko started canceling more and more of her shows. She no longer had the energy to perform anymore. A few times though, I have walked past Himiko's room and have seen her practicing a specific type of magic trick.

It was a classic "pull objects out of a hat trick," but Himiko convinced herself that she could actually retrieve things from other parts of the world. After watching her a few times through the crack in the doorway to her room, I realized what she was trying to do:

She was trying to see if she could bring Shuichi back using her magical abilities. Himiko would practice tricks like these tirelessly until she became fatigued and stopped. It's heartbreaking to see that the loss of one person can cause us so much despair. But this is the reality of our lives without Shuichi. It's amazing really, that only when someone is taken from your life do you realize just how important and special they were to you. The good times you had, even the bad times, with that person...You really start to miss it all.

A month has passed since Shuichi left, and the plethora of wounds that Himiko and I have sustained since then are still plaguing us just as they were a month ago. I find myself at least once a day walking to Shuichi's bedroom and opening the door, hoping that by some miracle he would be in there and that I would wake up from this nightmare. But I would realize time and time again that he was gone, never to return. I simply stare into his bedroom like a phantom, lifeless and void of energy. I don't know why I do it exactly. Am I expecting him to return? Am I trying to run away from everything that is going on right now?

...I don't know.

All I know is that Shuichi's gone and I can't bring him back. And if that wasn't bad enough, I never got the chance to ask him about his feelings for me.

And that is what hurts me the most.

As I walk back into my bedroom and sit on my bed, guilt and despair torment me once again and I cry with my face pressed against my knees. After a short while, Himiko rushes in and tries to comfort and console me.

After a few moments, however, she starts to cry as well. We cradle each other in our despair, much like when we were in the park together a month ago, and cry into each other's arms.

I fight myself to stop gasping as I cry and say to Himiko, "I can't believe he's gone."

Himiko fights through her tears and asks me, "There's really nothing that we can do, Maki?"

"...No," I say with a defeated tone.

The society is a collection of the world's worst, most bloodthirsty and heartless, people. I'm sure Shuichi is proving to them every day that he should be there instead of me. And if he is succeeding, then they won't give him up. Not only that, Shuichi won't be the same after they have their way with him. They'll completely break his resolve and rebuild him to be a killer. ...There's nothing anyone can do now.

After a while, I take Himiko into her room, tuck her into bed, and go back to my room. I sit back down on my bed and wipe the tears away from my eyes as best as I can, but no matter what I do they won't stop falling.

A loneliness crushes my heart and soul like no other. It's a loneliness that pierces your very being and makes you question if your life is worth anything at all. Even if my past was a fabrication, it still feels all too real to me. As a child, I had no parents, no one to call my mother or father. I thought I was truly alone and had no one in the world to care for me, even at the orphanage I eventually was brought to. ...Until I met that one little girl. I was always so isolated from everyone and never had any friends, that is until she came along. She was a bright and cheerful girl that filled a gap in my heart that had been festering there for as long as I can remember. I eventually began to rely on her as a source of comfort and friendship, and she did the same with me. We would do everything together. We would, on occasion, sneak into each other's bedrooms at night and stay up late so that we could talk to each other more and more. It felt as if we were a small family. Her friendliness and jovial attitude thawed my icy heart and opened me up to be a caring and empathetic person. The other kids would always want to be around me once I was able to get know them better. Having the kids want to be around me so much made me think that I was a parent figure to them...And they were my children.

I thought those happy days could continue, until one day that little girl was...Taken away by the clan. Ever since then, that gap in my life that the little girl filled when she was with me widened and hurt me more than before. And ever since that day I secretly yearned for someone that I could call my own to be in my life. Someone that I could share my life with, someone I could call "my prince," someone I could love. As an assassin, those humane emotions I felt were flushed from my body so that the only thing I could feel was pain. A significant portion of my life was spent like that...Until Shuichi and Kaito came along. Both of them resurrected the part of me that I was taught to lock away. ...But now, the only two people in my life that have ever cared about me are gone. Kaito is dead, and Shuichi has been taken away. And I am left here with my feelings of regret and guilt.

But why do I miss Shuichi so much? Why does my heart feel crushed and broken?

Not only have I killed an uncountable amount of people during my life as a killer, in Danganronpa I had to bear witness to the desperate struggle between people who would kill their friends in cold blood as they themselves slowly descended into madness. People that I hated and people that I grew to like, all were victims of this insane, sadistic massacre. But why is Shuichi any different from all of those people?!

I shut my eyes tight, clutch at the sides of my head, and let out a long sigh of frustration. What is happening to me? Ever since that one day in Danganronpa, the day I woke up with those strange feelings inside of me, I changed completely. Feelings that I thought I would never feel again, feelings that I can't put into words, feelings that won't go away...

Before my eyes, flashes of different vague, yet familiar, scenes unfold before me. Feelings of deja vu flood through me, but the more I focus on them the more the less they make sense and the less I can concentrate. But the one thing that doesn't change as I try to make sense of all of this, is that my heart seems to be calling out for one person.

I look up at the dark ceiling of my room and cry, "Shuichi."

Like the opening of floodgates, these feelings inside of my heart pour out of me and consume me. Hapiness, desire, anxiety, sadness...All of these emotions, and many others that I still don't know how to identify properly, rush through my body. My heart races and I start to breathe heavily. I start to feel exhausted from this overwhelming experience until finally, everything comes to a stand still. For a moment it feels as if time itself stops. During this time, a vision appears before me. Shuichi stands at the foot of my bed, looking at me with a gentle expression. I don't move a muscle, instead, I can only stare at him wide eyed. Shuichi walks over to me and stares deeply into my eyes. He draws me completely into himself and he gently kisses me on the lips.

I keep my eyes open as wide as they were before as the, strangely real, sensation of Shuichi kissing me sends feelings of desire throughout my body. Gentle tears trickle down from my eyes as my heart suddenly starts to feel full, a feeling that I've rarely ever felt in my life. Shuichi then pulls away, but I keep my lips pursed as they were. As he pulls away from me, the sound of something metal jangles under Shuichi's shirt. The sound floods my ears and tries to remind me of something that is buried deep within my mind. I trace my fingers around my lips to try to recreate the fleeting feeling of Shuichi's lips on mine. I watch as Shuichi slowly retreats to where he was initially standing. And finally, he disappears.

And in the final moments of that vision, something clicks in my heart and causes me to say in a captivated tone, "Shuichi...My love."

As I say his name, something starts to gnaw at me. It's a strange feeling, almost as if...Someone is watching me. I find my gaze being drawn towards my window. I can barely make out the rooftops of nearby buildings in the darkness, but something inside of me tells me that there is something out there that I need to see.

Is there somebody there?

  
There is.

  
His now demonic, red eyes stare into my own and peer into my soul. It takes me a minute to process what is going on, but as soon as I realize what's happening I immediately sit up in my bed and do everything I can to not break my gaze into his eyes.

Shuichi?!

He gets up from his crouched position from the rooftop and turns around to walk away. As his body starts to fade into the darkness, my mind starts to race.

No, I won't let you get away. I'll find you, I'll bring you back. I can't let you go, Shuichi!

I rush out of bed and out of the apartment. I sprint across the street in the direction that Shuichi disappeared in, hoping to catch even a glimpse of him. As I pass by a nearby alleyway however, the overwhelming scent of blood causes me to gag. I stop in my tracks and quickly inspect the alleyway. Dead bodies filled with bullet holes can be seen lying on the ground, and the whole alleyway is painted with blood. I clutch at my mouth with both of my hands to try to not be sick. But then a thought occurs to me:

Did Shuichi do this?

I perish the thought immediately. I can't imagine Shuichi doing something like this, it couldn't have been him. Strengthing my resolve, I continue to sprint in the darkness of the night. Police cars can be heard approaching in the distance, undoubtedly going to search the scene of the massacre behind me. And as I reach the end of the street, I see HIM drop down from the rooftops and into the street. His clothes are black and stained with blood. His whole demeanor, even his auora, is different.

He isn't the same person as before, but that doesn't stop me. He's still my Shuichi, and I have to tell him something.

I have to tell him about my feelings.

  
"Shuichi!!"

  
"What are you doing here, Maki?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After two months, the next chapter is finally here. Unfortunately, college has made writing a lot more difficult for me. But I can guarantee that I plan on completing this story, and will try to stay on track with posting these chapters on a more scheduled basis.
> 
> This chapter was intense to write. It required me to use a lot of my imagination and take many risks. And after spending numerous hours planning this out and making edits, it is finally completed. I hope that this chapter is as impactful to all of you guys as it is for me. And I certainly hope that it was worth the extra wait.


	7. Forbidden Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maki and Shuichi meet for the first time since Shuichi gave himself to the Holy Salvation Society. 
> 
> Will Maki break through to his broken and desperate heart, or will Shuichi's despair make him lost forever?

Love...The word that I have grown to despise. It's alluring, yet menacing. Wonderful, yet excruciating.

...Hopeful, yet desperate.

It can make you feel the fullness of life, or it can bring you down into the agonizing pits of endless misery.

...I've been in both the worlds of love.

It seems like yesterday when I first experienced what it was like to fall in love. Your heart skips a beat whenever you see the person of your dreams, even from afar. Everything about that person you adore; even the little things, like how they laugh, become traits that you can't resist. You start to dream, and even fantasize, about that other person.

And just when you're peaked in the sad delusion that you make for yourself, reality starts to set in.

You realize that that other person looks past you as if you weren't even there to begin with. You suddenly start to become forgotten and even replaced. The happy dreams that once gave you comfort are now constant, tormenting reminders of something that will never come to pass. And you start to think that maybe...They were better off not knowing that you existed at all.

...That perhaps your existence was meaningless to them.

And seeing that person again doesn't create a dreamlike sensation anymore. Instead, they only twist the poison-dipped knife of despair deeper into your heart, creating a hellish pain. They act as a reminder that your sad dream will never come to pass.

A reminder that no matter how much you loved that person...It amounts to nothing.

As I've said, I've been in both the worlds of love. Now my everyday actions are fueled by my hatred for the world and the despair that I feel in my heart. The one thing that mattered to me in my life, the one thing that I wanted more than anything, has become the one thing that I was denied. Now, for as long as I breathe, I will shed the blood of other people and bring fear and terror into the world.  This is my revenge against the world. Revenge for not allowing me to have the one thing in my life that meant more to me than anything else.

Maki's heart.

  
If I could laugh at my misfortune I would, but I am unable to. Instead, the feeling of utter agony spreads through my heart and body like a wildfire. It's painful enough to make any person cry bitter tears of lament. But even that I am unable to do as well.

Don't feel bad for me.

After all, I chose this life for myself. In one, last desperate attempt for the girl of my dreams, I selfishly cast aside my former way of life to become the one thing I used to fight against. Now I am a vector of chaos and death, a phantom that drifts across this meaningless world. Now my only purpose is to sow the seeds of destruction and slaughter the poor fools who are unfortunate enough to come across me.

I would have been content with all of this, but the world has a funny way of digging up old bones. I was so sure that this is what I wanted.

Yet YOU had to come back into my life.

  
"Shuichi!!"

  
That voice...HER voice. Sweet, delicate, and mysterious. The harmonious voice of my lost love fills my ears and resonates throughout my body. The older me may have been immediately swooned by her voice, not to mention her intense beauty and captivating eyes.

...But not now.

Instead, hearing her again ignites my rage and despair, and reminds me of the life with her that I can't hope to obtain.

"What are you doing here, Maki?"

I slowly turn around and face my once beloved Maki in the eyes. Her deep, crimson eyes stare back into my burning, red ones. As my face comes into full view, I notice Maki gasp slightly and give a small, yet noticeable, look of shock.

My black clothing is stained crimson from the massacre that took place not too long ago. Not to mention, my whole physique and my presence have almost completely changed since the last time Maki and I saw each other. As Maki stares back at me and tries to take in how it is that the Holy Salvation Society has changed me, I stare into her eyes and am reminded of the time that we spent together during, and after, escaping Danganronpa. My mind recalls everything, the time that Maki and I spent together in Danganronpa, the night that we had together in the love hotel, and the life that Maki, Himiko, and I made together in this world. But my mind, especially, recalls the moments that Maki and Kaito spent together. The way she looked at him, the way they always spent time together, ...The moment when Maki confessed her feelings to Kaito before his death, they send bitter and venomous waves of jealousy and despair through my veins. I suddenly clench my fists as this surge of dark emotions collects in my body. I start to furrow my brow and bite the corner of my lip hard, almost to the point of it bleeding. In the far corners of my mind, I can hear the sounds of Monokuma laughing maniacally at my despair. His laughs ring through my mind and cause me to be swallowed in a pit of my own grief.

So much so that I don't notice Maki approach me.

"Shuichi."

Maki gently says my name with sweetness in her voice, and delicately wraps her arms around my neck. The warmth of her body starts to envelop my cold and bloody one, and her sweet scent starts to fill my nostrils. Maki continues to stare into my burning eyes as she takes her right hand and grazes my left cheek. The more Maki stares at me, the more I start to feel her body tremble. And only after a few moments, a tear starts to fall from Maki's right eye.

"...My Shuichi," whispers Maki to me, "I thought I would never see you again."

I remain motionless and captivated by the feeling of Maki caressing me, so much so that it feels like the world has stopped to allow us this moment-- a moment that I thought we would never have. Many feelings begin to swirl around inside of me at a rapid pace. My desperate, cold, and dark emotions clash with the feelings of hope and love that emanate from Maki's heart. The longer I allow myself to stay like this the more conflicted I become on the inside. For the first time in a while, I am not sure what I should do. A small part of me wants to go back to the life that I lived before, the life that I lived with Maki and Himiko before all of this happened. But the black void inside of my heart continues to slowly grow and reminds me of the decision that I made and the futility of trying to run away from all of this. As I try to sift through the myriad of things that I am feeling on the inside, my vision starts to blur. As I try to regain my focus, I see HIM once again out of the corner of my eye staring at me...Laughing. He holds his white and black paws to his mouth as he giggles at Maki and I. I become petrified with fear as Monokuma slowly walks over to me, stands by my side, and looks up at Maki.

"Puhuhu...Oh, Shuichi," giggles Monokuma, "You're so pathetic."

I don't move, nor make a sound. I can only remain in Maki's embrace frozen to the spot.

"Is one embrace from this girl all that it takes for you to forget all that she has done to you and why you're in despair in the first place?"

I don't respond. Instead, I only stare back into Monokuma's dead eyes and allow myself to be consumed by the despair that flows from his very being.

"Well, since I like you so much, I'm going to do another favor for you," says Monokuma walking behind Maki.

Monokuma takes his right paw and waves it through the air as if he was ushering something. Slowly, the world around me fades and I find myself standing in the middle of a black expanse alone with Monokuma. Maki, still wrapped around my body, fades into the blackness.

Monokuma looks back at me, still smiling his usual smile, and says to me, "Let me remind you what she did to you, Shuichi."

Monokuma takes several steps back and fades into the darkness of the world around me. As I stand alone in this void, I desperately look around me trying to find anything that resembles a way out of this pit of despair. My breathing becomes fast and heavy and my body feels cold all over. And just when it seems like the darkness is going to swallow me whole, the world around me starts to blur until a series of images and moments from my past manifest themselves all around me.

All of my memories from Danganronpa until now appear before me in this black expanse, like a montage. Except no matter how hard I want to look away, I can't stop myself from being totally captivated at what I see. Before me I see...Many moments from Danganronpa, especially the times that Maki and I spent together. The times that I watched her from afar, even the time that Maki and I spent that one, special night together in the Love Hotel.

That's right...That night that she no longer remembers.

My right-hand starts to slide over my clothing and rests where the love key presses itself against my chest. As my right-hand feels the contours of the key against my body, the emotions that I felt in each of the moments that are being shown to me start to make their way into my heart. Happiness, affection, love...Hope, they make room for themselves inside of my heart as I recall how I felt back then when I first spent time with Maki. These feelings are nostalgic and sentimental. I almost forgot what it was like to feel these emotions. But as the memories around me transition to ones of sadness and despair, the feelings inside of my are consumed with the emotions that I have learned to embrace ever since I became an assassin. The moment when I cried alone in my room after seeing Maki and Kaito together, the moments when it felt like Maki was slipping away from me...The moment when she confessed her feelings to Kaito at the end of that class trial. These memories surface dark emotions that quickly vanquish the nostalgic feelings of hope that I just experienced. All of the pain, sorrow, hatred, jealousy, and despair that I have bottled up ever since Danganronpa completely consume and pollute my heart and soul once again.  And I am reminded of the brutal and chilling reality of which I find myself in. I slowly lower my head as my body becomes heavier and heavier. As the pain inside of me worsens by the second, I quickly start to wish that the world around me will consume me and end my miserable existence.

...Until Monokuma appears from the darkness once again.

"Now do you remember what it was like, Shuichi," asks Monokuma menacingly.

I don't even look at Monokuma. Instead, I continue to look at the black ground as I am enveloped in a blanket of despair.

"Maki never cared for you. Instead, she abandoned you and left you for Kaito. Despite all of the feelings that you had for her, despite your quiet pleas to her that she may receive and embrace the love that you had for her, despite everything that you did for her...She never gave you the time of day."

Monokuma's words cut me deep where it hurts the most...But he's right about everything. Maki never cared for me. Not then, and most certainly not now. When I wanted her, when I needed her the most, she turned her back to me and left me all alone.

The one person that I loved more than anything turned their back on me. 

And in an act of vengeance and desperation, I will bring forth my revenge into the world as an assassin. I will paint the world crimson with its own blood until everyone knows my pain and despair.

I lift up my head, filled with a new resolve of hatred and wrath, and look straight ahead of me. My eyes burn even hotter now as rage floods through my body.

Monokuma laughs and says, "Puhuhuhu. Good luck, Shuichi."

And with that, Monokuma disappears and the black expanse around me fades and brings me back to reality. Maki is still caressing my cheek with her soft fingers and continues to stare into my scorching eyes. I look up dramatically and take a deep breath, as if my body is overcome with a rush of emotions, and nuzzle my head against Maki. I rub my head against her soft cheek and hair as I snuggle against her body.

Maki, in response, lets out an affectionate sigh of happiness and snuggles into my body as a response. Her body becomes much warmer and I can feel her heart flutter as she presses her body against me.

I open my eyes as Maki continues to squeeze my body and say, "I thought I would never see you again, Maki."

Maki starts to rub her head against my chest as I say these words.

Maki then looks up at me, tears falling from her deep, crimson eyes and cheeks reddened from blushing, and says, "I thought I would never see you again either, Shuichi."

Maki's lips start to tremble as she tries to continue to speak.

"I-I never th-th-thought that I would have this k-kind of moment with y-y-you, Sh-Shuichi. A m-moment to tell you that I...I...I lo--"

Before Maki can finish her sentence, I reach out my hands in front of me and hug her. Maki cuts off her sentence and stiffens her body as I whisper into her ear.

"I thought I would never see you again, Maki...But perhaps it would have been better if we hadn't."

Maki freezes to the spot as the despair in my words bleeds into her body and pollutes any hope that she holds within herself. I take my hands, place them on Maki's arms, and shove her off of me. Maki almost falls over from me shoving her off of my body. Her mouth hangs open, and any and all signs of life are quickly draining out of her. Her skin becomes paler, and the gleam that she had in her eyes when she looked into mine is rapidly fading.

As I stand there bearing witness to this horrific sight, I quietly say to myself, "You're right, Monokuma...There's no hope for me anymore."

Maki's whole body starts to tremble with despair. And after only a few moments, she collapses onto her knees and almost looks like she is going to pass out.

With whatever strength Maki still has left in her, she looks up at me with tear-filled eyes and gasps, "Shuichi...Why?"

Maki's words are filled with darkness and pain. So much so that the very atmosphere that surrounds us becomes heavier with each passing second. Then, as if on cue, a storm starts rolling in above us. Rain starts to fall from the dark, menacing clouds above and soaks this dejected landscape. The blood that stains my clothes and skin starts to trickle off of me. I hold out my hands in front of me and watch as the bloody water drips from my fingers and onto the ground below me.

I look back at Maki, who looks at me with an agonizing look of despair and dread, and say, "This is my life now, Maki. I am an embodiment of despair and death. And the only fulfilling purpose that I have left in my life is to shed the blood of whomever I choose."

Maki drops her head as my words add weight to her, already laden, body. Maki shakes her head back and forth and starts to cry more. Her sobs cut through the air around us and fill the streets of the city with woefulness.

Unable to withstand the weight on her shoulders any longer, Maki collapses to the ground completely. Her whole demeanor, and even the aura that surrounds her, are now infused with grief and agony. But Maki, still trying to fight through all of the pain, crawls over to me until her left hand is placed on top of my right foot.

She looks up at me, still bawling, and says in an agonizing voice, "It's not t-too late, Sh-Sh-Shuichi. Y-You can still come b-b-back to us. Himiko m-misses you...I miss you.....I miss you s-so much."

It's rare to see Maki in a state of total desperation. But seeing her like this makes me think of Kaito and how much Maki grieved his death. It ignites my rage and makes me disgusted at the world. I turn around slowly and start to walk away from Maki. As I move my right foot away, her left hand heavily hits the rain-soaked ground. I take several steps away from Maki in the other direction...But I am stopped in my tracks at Maki's next words to me.

"S-S-Shuichi, d-don't leave me l-like this. Don't a-abandon me...Don't t-t-throw me a-away. I n-need you...I-I...I love you, Shuichi!!"

I am stopped in my tracks and left speechless. Maki's words surge through me and root me to the spot. My body runs cold and my heart stops as the words that I thought I would never hear uttered from Maki's lips are said. My mouth hangs open, and my whole world stops once again. Seconds feel like hours, and the sound of the rain falling around me is blocked out by the screaming silence that takes over my mind. But I am snapped out of my delusion as Maki yells those words to me again.

"I love y-you, Shuichi!!"

Are these words that Maki is saying to me her true feelings? Or are they being said out of desperation?

Whatever the case is, I doubt their sincerity.

...You would think that hearing these words after all of this time would "fix" me. You would think that they would suddenly heal all of my wounds and make my anguish go away, almost like something out of a fairytale.

...But no. Instead, they only make my despair worse.

I turn around to face Maki again with an even more sinister, and almost insane, look. Maki looks up at me, her face tearstained and red from bawling, and body soaked from the rain.

I stare dead into Maki's eyes and say with as much venom as I can, "You're too late, Maki."

Maki continues to bawl as her expression becomes mixed with confusion at my enigmatic words.

"Sh-Shuichi?" Is all Maki can gasp before I pour out my despair-ridden heart to her.

"Do you know what the most painful thing in the world is, Maki? It's something far worse than the torture that I had to endure with the Holy Salvation Society. So much so that I would rather die than feel this feeling any longer."

I take a few maniacal and heavy steps towards Maki as I am overcome by my darkest emotions.

I look Maki dead in the eyes and say, "It's the feeling of watching the one person you love the most turn away from you. ...That is the most painful thing of all."

Maki only continues to stare at me, but her grief becomes worse as she realizes my suffering.

"I remember the first time I saw you in Danganronpa. That was the first time in my life that I felt a sense of completeness and serenity. And I lived in hope of every second of every day to tell you how I felt about you."

I put my left hand over my eyes and start to laugh in a fit of despair.

"But when I saw you and Kaito start to become a couple, I completely lost my sanity. And what made my suffering worst of all was the fact that the only inkling of hope that I had that you and I could be together was a memory that only I had, and you had no recollection of."

I take my left hand off of my face and clench both of my fists in front of my body as my emotions overflow from my heart. Tears descend my face and mix with the blood on the ground beneath me. Through my blurred vision, I can see Maki staring at me completely aghast at my reaction to what she said earlier. But seeing her like this only fuels my hatred and darkness even more. I turn to the brick wall next to me and start punching it with both of my hands at full force as I continue my rant.

"Every day and night I have to live with the despair that your first love was Kaito. Every day I am reminded of the times that you worried about him and cared for him. Every day I am reminded of the concern you showed him. Every day I am reminded that you confessed to him and you love him. ...Every day I am reminded that you left me behind in my own darkness and suffering to be with him."

Excruciating and torturous pain surges through my hands and arms as the brick wall in front of me continues to be stained with the blood from my knuckles. My hands are bloody and many layers of skin have already been flayed from my fingers. The bones in my hands are undoubtedly fractured and will break if I continue to punch the wall as hard as I am.

...But it's not enough.

The pain is not enough to mask these feelings of abandonment, despair, and treachery that I feel in my heart and soul. I am consumed in a living hell, and there is nothing that I can do to escape it.

There's no escape...There's no hope.

Maki, overburdened with even more suffering than before, tries to speak to me, but I cut her off and continue my tirade.

"Sh-Sh-Shuichi, I--"

"DON'T SAY ANYTHING! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU, MAKI?!"

I punch the wall one last, futile time and feel as the bones in my right-hand crack into bloody pieces.

"WHY DID YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON ME, WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME IN DESPAIR, WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE FOR ME?!!"

My throat burns from all of the screaming and crying that I am doing. But as I finally conclude my tirade, I realize how futile all of it was. Nothing has changed because of it, and nothing will change.

And that is my true despair. The endless, miserable existence that I lead.

I let my arms slump to my sides and watch as my bloody and deformed hands spurt blood onto my clothes and onto the ground. All I can do is gasp in pain and stare at the ground in utter defeat.

I start to chuckle as I realize that everything that has just happened is meaningless.

I look over at Maki and finally say to her, "...Now you know how I feel. ...And there's nothing that can be done about it."

The storm overhead becomes worse as if the weather agonizes with me. I look over at Maki and see her clutch the ground with all of her might. It's as if all of my pain and suffering coated the very words that I spoke and entered into her body, consuming her bit by bit. Her mouth hangs open, yet no sound comes out. Tears rapidly flow from her eyes and mix with my blood on the ground. Never before have I seen Maki so distraught and grieved.

It's almost a relief to me, really. This way I know that something inside of her cares for something that I said tonight.

But whatever the case may be, this meeting of ours is now over.

I turn around once again and walk away from Maki. I can hear from behind me that Maki is trying to speak, but no words come out of her mouth. Instead, only sounds of bitter lament screech from her.

But just as I think that everything here is finished, Maki does something unexpected.

Maki suddenly uses whatever energy she has left to pick her almost lifeless body off of the ground. And with an outstretched right-hand, she desperately runs after me to try to make even the slightest contact with my body to prevent me from leaving her. It almost reminds me of the time when Maki tried to save me from the assassins in the park that one night.

She was unsuccessful then...And she will be unsuccessful now.

Right before Maki's hand latches onto my body, my assassin's instincts kick in and I turn around and I push her hand away from me. And before Maki's body lands into my chest, I reach out my deformed right hand and grab onto the white bow on her uniform and hold her limp and despair-ridden body in the air, staining it crimson with my blood. As I look at Maki's face, I see only grief, agony, desperation, and lifelessness.

...It's almost pathetic.

Disgusted, I open my right hand and let Maki's body collapse to the ground in front of me. She lands on the ground with a thud as the life drains out of her body. And as I watch Maki tremble in pain, I hear the footsteps of somebody approaching me from behind.

"Shuichi."

It's the assassin that assisted me in the contract earlier tonight. I don't turn around to face him. Instead, I continue to stare at Maki as she agonizes and cries on the ground below me.

"Shuichi, it's--"

"Time to go back," I ask interrupting his sentence.

I pause and take a deep breath.

"You're right. ...There's nothing left to do here anyway."

And with that, I walk with the assassin towards the compound. I hear Maki writhing in pain on the ground behind me as she tries to catch another glimpse of me as I walk away from her. But when she sees me and realizes that nothing can bring me back, Maki starts to scream and bawl at the top of her lungs, much like Kirumi did right before she was to be executed in Danganronpa. It's a harsh and chilling scream, an acknowledgment of the hopelessness that surrounds us both. Maki's head hits the ground and she slams her right fist into the concrete until it starts to bleed much like my own hands are currently. It seems that Maki finally realizes this harsh, bitter reality of ours.

If I knew, in Danganronpa, how things would turn out if I escaped...I would have begged to die a merciless and savage death just like my classmates did. And hearing Maki's screams as I walk back to the compound confirms to me that she feels the same way.

* * *

Why?

Why am I so terrible?

Why am I so incapable?

Why am I so pathetic?

Why am I so weak?

Why is it that everyone important in my life is taken from me?

Why is it that I always end up alone?

Why is it that I can't save anyone?

And worst of all...Why am I still alive when I don't deserve to be?

Shuichi's words...They crush and cripple me to the point where I can barely move my body. And any movement that I make is met with even more agony and torment. My body is frigid from the rain that pours down upon me. My mouth hangs open as I struggle to gasp for air. And with every attempt I take to try to breathe, blood trickles out of my mouth from my strained and burning throat, and stains the ground around me crimson. Despite me barely able to make a sound or a cry, tears fall from my eyes and mix with the bloody rainwater that surrounds me. If anybody were to walk past and see me like this they would think that I was murdered, and my body was left here to rot.

And a large part of me wishes that I had been. Dying would certainly feel better than what I feel right now.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the puddles of blood that formed while Shuichi's hands were bleeding start to wash towards me and mix with my own blood. Shuichi's blood starts to stain my clothing as the rain washes it towards my lifeless body. And as it does so I am reminded once again of how I failed the person that I love, and how I am responsible for causing him all of this pain and misery.

Shuichi is suffering, and it is all because of me.

My hands instinctively tense up and form fists. My right hand is badly injured from me slamming it into the ground before.  So as it forms a fist, I hear the sounds of the bones in my hand crack. I grit my teeth hard as bitterness, despair, and pain overtake me once more. More tears fall from my crimson eyes.

And just when I think my suffering can't get any worse, it does.

My mind is bombarded with agonizing and defeating thoughts of how I let Shuichi down. The words that Shuichi screamed at me just moments ago echo in my head.

Shuichi loved me, he loved me so much. And I turned away from him. Despite all of the feelings that I felt inside of me, and despite Korekiyo's warning, I still abandoned Shuichi and left him alone in his despair.

  
It's all my fault.

  
It's my fault that Shuichi is suffering.

It's my fault that he is overcome with despair.

It's my fault that he became an assassin.

And it's my fault that Himiko and I can no longer be with him anymore.

  
It's my fault that he cried.

It's my fault that he screamed.

And it's my fault that he bled.

This pain...This misery...This despair--

I...I...I......I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!

I let out one last, bloodcurdling scream.  And my mouth and lips drip with more of my own blood before I finally pass out from my pain.

  
But I cannot hide from this despair, no matter what I do. It will always be with me, watching me...haunting me.

  
And it takes its form as a black and white bear.

  
As I slowly open my eyes, I find myself surrounded in darkness. My body feels colder than it did before, and the pain hasn't gone away. I only have enough energy to move my head slightly. Everything around me is pitch black as far as I can see.

"Am I...dead," I ask myself, unsure of what to make of my surroundings.

"Puu-Huu-Huu. You wish you were dead, don't you, Maki Harukawa?"

My body instantly freezes as my eyes widen and my mouth hangs open in fear. In the darkness, a red stripe for an eye starts to glow. It stares right into my eyes and petrifies me. I can hear the sound of plush footsteps approaching me. Until finally, Monokuma emerges from the darkness, giggling.

"Surprised to see me, Maki? I must say, I am very excited to see you again."

Fear and disbelief overcome me as Monokuma stands before me. I start to break out into a cold sweat, and my hands and feet start to go numb.

Shivering, I ask Monokuma, "H-How can y-you be...alive?"

Monokuma stands in front of me and says, "Shuichi asked me the very same thing when I first came to him. As long as there is despair in the world, I can never truly die," giggles Monokuma menacingly.

The utterance of Shuichi's name makes me think about him and everything he has gone through once again. My body starts to ache, and tears start to form in my eyes. I try to contain myself, but I am unable to do so.

I start to cry.  And during my sobs, the word, "Shuichi," escapes from my mouth.

Monokuma, happy to see me consumed with despair, says to me, "Yes, Shuichi Saihara, once a beacon of hope now turned into an agent of despair...And it's all because of you, Maki."

Monokuma's words add more weight to my, already burdened, soul. The realization that, once again, I am responsible for hurting Shuichi so badly fills me with bitterness and defeat. My sobs echo in this expanse of nothingness, filling this hellish void with my wails of despair.

"How you look now reminds me of how Shuichi reacted to seeing you and Kaito together. His face never looked so consumed with despair before. It truly was a sight to behold," laughs Monokuma.

I try to gather whatever fragments of hope I have left in my heart, only to be defeated by despair once again.

"You did this to him, this is your fault," I say to Monokuma with a defensive tone.

"Oh," asks Monokuma putting his right paw to his chin, "And what makes you think that?"

Monokuma walks over to me and starts stomping my head with his right foot. His body may be plush, but each stomp sends a crushing sensation throughout my body. Each of my bones, especially in my head, starts to pulsate with pain.

But what hurts me most of all is the truth behind Monokuma's words.

"Was I the one that broke his heart? Was I the one that abandoned him? Was I the one that utterly crushed all of the hope in his heart? ...No. All I did was show him the cold, dark, desperate truth. And what is that truth? The truth is that you never cared about him, not until you had that weak and pathetic, failure of the stars tell you that you did. You're a feeble girl who is a disgrace to everyone, even to the pitiful and abandoned children at the orphanage. You desperately try to take care of them because you think it will wash away the blood off of your hands and cleanse you of the guilt that you carry. But I see right through the facade you have put up for yourself. You're a pathetic bitch who lives a pathetic existence, and you deserve to die."

...

There aren't any words in the whole world that can describe the pain that I feel now. My whole body goes frigid, yet I neither shiver nor tremble. Tears flow from my eyes, but I don't make sounds of crying or sadness. Instead, I lie on the cold, black floor motionless...Lifeless. It's almost as if I'm right on the verge of dying but, every time I get close to death, despair brings me back to life just enough for me to feel all of the pain and misery that comes with being alive anymore. It's almost as if I am not allowed to die, and not allowed to experience the joys of living anymore.

I can't fight back on anything Monokuma has said. Everything that he told me...It's the truth.

And that's why it hurts so bad.

Insanity overtakes me as I find myself laughing and crying at the same time. With every laugh that escapes me, and every tear that falls from my eyes, my heart is enveloped in more and more pain. Almost as if somebody dropped my heart into a pile of razor blades and broken glass, and stomped on it until it broke into pieces.

Monokuma gives a satisfied look as he sees me utterly consumed with despair. His goal is accomplished. ...He won.

"Puhuhuhu," laughs Monokuma, "I'm glad that you realize just how desperate your situation is, Maki. It makes me so proud. Not only did you extinguish the hope from Shuichi's heart, but it's only a matter of time before you sink into the same abyss. And then after that, the same will happen to Himiko."

"Himiko," I gasp through the pain.

No...not Himiko. She...doesn't deserve to suffer like this.

"Indeed," says Monokuma, "I wonder what her reaction will be when she sees that Shuichi has been consumed with despair, and you have failed to save him."

Monokuma waves his paw in the air. And through the pitch blackness that surrounds me, an image is produced before me.

Shuichi stands before Himiko, blood staining his hands and outfit. His eyes hide behind his hair as he looks down in despair. Himiko grips onto Shuichi's clothes with all of the strength that she can muster and bawls harder then I have ever seen her.

Even though it's an image, I can still hear the voice of Himiko as she sobs into Shuichi.

"SHUICHI...P-PLEASE COME BACK. D-DON'T LEAVE US A-ALONE ANYMORE. I MISS YOU, S-SHUICHI. I MISS YOUR S-STORIES AT NIGHTTIME, I MISS HAVING YOUR HELP WHEN I PRACTICE MY M-MAGIC, AND MOST OF ALL, I MISS BEING ABLE TO R-RUN INTO YOUR ROOM AND S-SLEEP NEXT TO YOU WHEN I HAVE B-BAD DR-DREAMS. EVER SINCE MY MASTER LEFT ME, I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE I COULD    C-CALL F-FAMILY. "BUT WITH YOU AND MAKI, I FINALLY F-FEEL AT H-HOME. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME, SH-SHUICHI. PLEASE!"

The image before me transitions. Now it only shows Himiko collapsed onto the ground, now crying by herself. Shuichi must have finally left for good...Never to return.

The sounds of Himiko bawling still fill the world around me and are chilling to the bone. Every fiber of my being wants to forget that sound. But it rings through my mind unceasingly, not allowing me to forget Himiko's suffering.

And as if that wasn't enough, Monokuma shows me one, last image.

"And I wonder where you went, Ms. Harukawa. What happens to you after all of this?"

The image before me doesn't transition like before. Instead, the image scrolls to Himiko's right and shows the rest of the apartment that we live in. And when the image stops, it shows my bedroom door wide open.

...And my dead body hanging in the air by a noose.

The image fades away until it is only Monokuma and me in this void once again. Monokuma walks over to me and stands above me.

"So...What do you think? It's quite an elegant display, isn't it? I'm even thinking of framing it and putting it on top of the fireplace in my den."

I drop my head and don't say a word.

Monokuma takes this as a sign of defeat and says to me, "I'm glad you've finally come around, Maki. Shuichi took a lot longer to crack. I was even worried that I wouldn't succeed. But you...You were easy. It looks like not all of Shuichi's hope was able to rub off on you after all."

Hope?

...Hope.

This word seems so foreign to me.

Yet...There's something enticing about it, even now...

Ah, now I know why. It reminds me of Shuichi.

Shuichi would always fight for everyone else, no matter how bad things were. He would pursue the darkest truths to the ends of the Earth if he had to, even if it hurt him in the process. As long as it meant that others could be happy, it didn't matter what happened to him.

He is our true ray of hope...And he is my beloved.

As I try to move my arms and legs, my body revolts and sends pulsating waves of pain through my bones. But despite the struggle, I continue to try to pick myself up.

As I finally prop up my body on my knees, Monokuma looks back at me.

"Hm? What's this? Have I not shown you enough despair? Is this grim reality still not enough to bring you down?"

"Shut up."

Like lightning, I make a fist with my right hand and punch Monokuma in the gut. He flies back and smacks into the ground. His body slides some distance before it finally stops.

Monokuma is slow to get up.

But when he does, he looks at me with a look of rage and says, "Damn it. What was that for? I could have broken a paw you know."

Before Monokuma can speak again, I sprint over to him and grip his belly. Despite him being a robot, some parts of his body are actually plush. ...Which makes what I am about to do a lot easier.

I grip Monokuma's belly tightly with my right hand. So tight that wires and stuffing start to seep out of the slit where my hand grips his body.

I stare into his black eyes with a menacing stare and say to Monokuma, "Do you want to die?"

Monokuma struggles to break free from my grasp. And the more he struggles, more of his insides spill out onto the black floor below us.

"What are you going to do then," asks Monokuma as he tries to break free, "What I have shown you is no illusion. Shuichi will be lost, Himiko will be abandoned, and you will die by your own hand."

I bring Monokuma closer to my face and say, "I don't care if I die or not.  But I learned from Shuichi, the boy that I love, that you never give up. All I know is that Shuichi and Himiko are suffering right now.  ...They're suffering because of the mistakes that I have made.  But I want to atone for those mistakes.  And I especially want to want to bring hope back into both of their lives."

With new conviction, I make one, final statement to Monokuma.

"Shuichi and Himiko don't deserve to suffer any longer because of me.  I will succeed and I will save Shuichi...Even if it means I die trying."

I thought this surge of hope and fortitude would shut Monokuma up. But he just stares at me, smiling.

...He's always one step ahead.

"This is exactly what I wanted to hear, Maki Harukawa. You have no idea what is waiting for you over there if you pursue Shuichi. I can assure you, You...will...die."

I open my grip and allow Monokuma's body to drop to the ground. I stand over him, looking down, as he continues to speak.

"The very hope that you cling on to will bring about nothing but despair. Knowing this, will you still go and try to save Shuichi?"

I raise my right heel as I say this to Monokuma, "As long as I'm breathing, I won't stop fighting for Shuichi."

I drop my foot with great force and crush Monokuma to pieces. As his body breaks, the black expanse around me starts to crack and finally breaks away. And I find myself standing outside where Shuichi and I just spoke to each other.

The rain has finally stopped, but my body is still soaked and cold. I bring my bloody and scarred right hand in front of me and try to make a fist. My hand makes a few cracking sounds while it closes which sends pain surging through my whole arm. But after I open and close it a few more times, it starts to feel a little better.

"Good," I think to myself, "I should be well enough to go through with this plan after all."

I take a few steps towards the pool of blood that stains the ground where Shuichi once stood. Just seeing how much blood there is on the ground speaks to how much Shuichi suffers in his heart and soul. My mood turns grim again as I stare at my reflection in the blood pool on the ground. But I immediately stifle my emotions and look towards the direction of the Holy Salvation Society's compound.

"One last chance," I think to myself, "I'll bring you back home Shuichi. ...Or I'll die trying."

The Holy Salvation Society won't just hand Shuichi over to me. I'll have to fight everyone there to the death.

It's a suicide mission. ...Perfect for a former, Ultimate Assassin like me.

 

...But, even in my determined and focused state of mind, I wasn't fully prepared for what was waiting for me at the compound.

Never did I think I would have to fight YOU...

* * *

"Shuichi."

"What is it," I ask as I repair my broken and bleeding hands.

"We've received a report. ...It's about Maki Harukawa."

I stop what I am doing and tense up after hearing her name again.  I suddenly become bitter and turn to face the assassin.

"What about her," I ask annoyed.

"She's on her way here. We believe that she is coming for you," says the assassin.

I start to chuckle and ask, "To try to bring me back?"

"Perhaps," says the assassin, "Which is why we're giving you this."

The assassin hands me a Manila folder. I open it and am filled with despair as I read the contents of the folder:

"Contract for Shuichi Saihara. Target: Maki Harukawa."

My hands automatically tense up and crinkle the paper in my hands.

"...You want me to kill her," I ask venomously.

"Yes," says the assassin, "She's too risky to be kept alive any longer. And we found it most fitting if you were the one to do the honors of painting the walls with her blood."

The assassin turns around to walk away and says to me, "I suggest you get ready, Ultimate Assassin, she'll be here soon."

The assassin leaves the room and leaves me alone with the contract to kill Maki. I stare at the paper for what seems like an eternity. I'm so used to memorizing the face of the person that I have to kill, but the more I look at the picture of Maki the more disturbed and uneasy I feel. And soon enough, tears start to drip onto the paper in my hands. My expression is still plain, my body does not tremble, and no cries escape my mouth. Yet, tears still find their way to fall from my burning, red eyes. The contract becomes soggy, so I toss it to the side of the room.

I gently run my bloody fingers over my cheeks to wipe away my tears.

The more I think on all of this, the more despair I feel in my heart. And as it gets worse and worse, out of the corner of my eye, I see Monokuma walk towards me again.

"Are you ready for the finale, Shuichi," asks Monkuma filled with excitement.

I shut my eyes and laugh to myself.

Perhaps this is a fitting ending for Maki and me.

One of us will die tonight, and it will be by the other person's hand.  Either I will overcome Maki and will have no choice but to spill her blood and kill her, or she will overcome me.  And despite her pleas, despite her cries, despite her hope, she will realize once again that I cannot be saved.  I gave up on hope long ago.  Now I am an embodiment of despair and grief, and I won't stop fighting until I draw my very last breath.

Maki will have no choice but to end my pitiful existence if she has the chance.

 

And this fight will be a reminder to whomever the survivor is in the end.

 

That our love was a Forbidden Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only imagine what Maki and Shuichi must have felt during this chapter. Their agonizing grief and bone-chilling despair will bring about the beginning of the end for one of them.
> 
> I wonder who it's going to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! And please look forward to more chapters being posted in the future.
> 
> This is a story that I've wanted to write since finishing Danganronpa V3. Needless to say, I am a huge supporter of this ship and was heartbroken when Maki declared her feelings for Kaito in Chapter 5. 
> 
> What's interesting about this story is that even I do not know how it is going to end. The reason for this is mainly because even though this is a fanfiction, and I hope that Maki and Shuichi end up together in the end, I cannot write something that isn't entirely grounded in the canonical story. It is 100% certain that Maki liked Kaito, even if he didn't feel the same way about her (the shipping wiki says that the relationship was one-sided.) And I'm not sure if Maki would ever want a relationship with Shuichi beyond a friendship.
> 
> I hope that readers will share their thoughts with me on the matter because your insights could very much impact how the rest of the story goes.
> 
> Thanks again for reading! :)


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